Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Jennifer Preston on May 22, 2010 at 10:02pm
Hi this is Jennifer again, I want to thank all who was so kind to write to me.You know it really does help to know there is people out there that knows how it feels to hurt all the time.I know its got to hurt when your seeing your loved one die with cancer,or seeing your loved one go into a coma.I can imagine how you feel.I can understand about getting your affairs inorder.The last day my husband Pete was alive I had a fuss with him,and it stays on my mind all the time.I wanted him to eat so bad,they had put a feeding tube in him. I tryed to feed him some soft food,and he kept spitting it out.I told him if he is going to keep spitting his food out that I I'm going home,and thats what I did is went home,and then they called me after 9PM,and told me he had died.I wished
Comment by Virginia on May 22, 2010 at 7:02am
Now I would like to share this. This morning I woke up to my husband telling me he was comming to get me,not sure what that meant but I haven't had a dream of him that I can remember since he passed. So I sat up in the bed and said I'm glad you came to me,BUT I can't go with you now, I just finished designing our headstone and need to see this thru not that I'm looking forward to going to the cemertary and see my name and picture on it lol and with what I'm spending on it I really would like to see it in person lol so I told him he will have to wait a bit, now I was always told that when you dream of the dead they are actually visiting you I'm not real sure but I'm thinking I might need to get things in order. I would like to hear others thought on it. Virginia Have a blessed day everyone((( hugs to all.)))
Comment by Virginia on May 22, 2010 at 6:49am
Hi Jennifer I'm so sorry for your loss I lost my husband a year ago last month and it is not any less painfull.Everyone on this site is right it will take a lifetime to deal with it,you will later on have good days then be smacked up side the face with something to make you feel it all just as new as day one. You are in my prayers Virginia
Comment by Tom on May 22, 2010 at 1:55am
I'm sure your family and friends mean well, and are giving you advice that they think will help you.
It's hard for them to know what it's like for you.
It's different for you than it is for them.
Keep your hudband close to your heart, and it will be easier for you in the long run. Only you can make any kind of difference in what your life will be like in the coming days and years. It will take as long as it takes for you. It's never to late to say good by, it's just different. My Loni told me good by, by biting my finger, and then smiling at me. She couldn't talk anymore. It was the last time I saw Loni awake.
I kissed her good by when I left the hospital and later she went into a comma and never woke back up.
I think about all the love that we had together, more than that last time we had together. It still makes me laugh though. It was Loni way of telling me she loves me. It's what all of our 11 cats would do with her ! Love transends all, and it's the only thing that does ! Talk to your husband and tell him what's on your mind when ever you feel like it. It's good for your soul ! Tom
Comment by Peg Otley on May 21, 2010 at 11:43pm
I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't let family and friends tell you what to do. Eventually you will move on but in your OWN time. They just don't understand what we are going through. They can say they can IMAGINE but they really CAN'T. Your loss is still very fresh. I lost my Harry on Dec. 13th, 2009 and I feel THAT is still fresh. I had the opportunity have him at home w/me during his illness and death. He had pancreatic cancer. We had time to talk and tell each other our thoughts. It was very hard to do that too. I still cry a lot. It is those "firsts" that get you. I was recently in the hospital and that was hard not having him there. Christmas , New years, valentines day, easter, my birthday...I''ve hurdled them all but the one that will be the hardest is the anniversary. It would have been our 37th this Oct. 20. There are a lot of very nice people on this site and they have a lot of insight. There is probably nothing you will face that someone here doesn't have good info about. I will keep you in my prayers that God will help you through this most difficult time.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on May 21, 2010 at 11:36pm
Jennifer, welcome. I get literature all the tme from the organ/tissue/eye bank of Indiana as she was an organ donor. I was informed by them that she helped over 75 people and I was so pround of that. She was of all things, my pal for 44+ years. I saw a plaque that caught my eye. It read " thank you God, for allowing us to have this time together ". The bad part is that alot of times there is only one to read it.Hugs to you.
Comment by Jennifer Preston on May 21, 2010 at 11:23pm
Hello my name is Jennifer I just came across this website tonight:My husband Pete passed away March14,2010.I didn't get to say goodbye.He had been sick awhile.I didn't want to face life,but I'm having to face life now,and it hurts.I cry alot .My family,and friends tell me I have to go on with my life,and they tell me that Pete would want me to be happy.Happy seems like something I don't know anymore,but there is one thing that brings comfort to me is I know my Pete really did love me.That does help some.We had over 20 years together,and over 16 years of marriage.
Comment by BoLynn on May 21, 2010 at 8:54pm
You live in beautiful country, Tom.
I'm not a collector. I am a gadget freak. To be exact anything Mac, I have except an iPhone.
Comment by BoLynn on May 21, 2010 at 7:24pm
Tom, what a lovely idea about Loni's jewelry. You touched my heart.

I was just watching Little House on the this episode was this poem....
Remember me with smiles and laughter
Because that's how I'll remember you all.
But if you can only remember me with tears,
Then don't remember me at all.
Comment by Connie on May 21, 2010 at 1:54pm
Hi, has anyone heard from Suzanne recently? I haven't read anything from her in a few days and I am just concerned and hoping that she is not staying off the site for any reason. Suzanne, if you are out there, please let me know.

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