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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Tom on May 20, 2010 at 2:08am
Whell I'll be darned !
It looks like I'm writting a book after all !
Comment by Tom on May 20, 2010 at 2:05am
Just so no one here gets the wrong idea about me. I miss my Loni very much, and I'm very lonely without her. I can ignore the lonelyness for so long. But it's not health for me to either keep ignoring it, or to keep being so sad all the time. I try my best to balance these feelings. I have to let the feelings come when they do. 5 and a half months now and I can't believe that she is gone. I spend my days with my 11 cats, watching T.V. until I can't take it anymore, and then come to the computer for a while.
There are a few sites that I go to escape from the reality of my life. On one of these sites there is a lady from New Jersey that has been a big help to me since Loni passed away. Now her son committed suicide with no warning at all. I'm doing what I can to help her during this terrible time for her and her family. There's not really one can do in this kind of circumstance except let them know that your there anytime to talk with. Sometimes it's eaiser to talk with a friend than it is with a spouce about things that are just so touchy. She has emailed me at my home email address once, and gave me some of the details that she has been told so far. It's going to be a long road she has to travel on and will never get to the truth of why. I know this because my younger brother committed suicide also. It's a very selfish thing to do no matter how bad one feels, and the excuses one leaves behind. Her son said don't worry I'm at peace with myself. No real thought about the peace his mother will never have again.
Clinical depression is what it's called. To me it's just a wording for I'm going to do what I want, and the hell with the rest of you. I know about depression as you here all know too. If I ever got to that point I'd have myself locked up.
My thoughts for tonight.
Tom
Comment by Connie on May 19, 2010 at 9:31pm
Charlotte, Thanks so much for your note and condolences. I do have three daughters, two of whom live not far from me and the youngest is going to be a Senior at a University in PA in the fall. She spends many weekends at home and they call me several times every day. I also have a very close friend with who I have been friends for over 30 years. Her husband passed 11 years ago from lung cancer. Her husband and my husband were like brothers. In fact, her husband's last wish was that they give his heart to my husband because he was in the process of being listed for transplant. This week has been especially bad for me because it was the 10th anniversary of his transplant which we always considered his "second birthday." Everyone is great but it doesn't replace my sweetheart. We were married a long time and had a really good marriage. We enjoyed being together even if it was just staying home and watching tv. I am not feeling "bogged down" with grief but I am hurting so very much. I wait for the day that I can be with him again. Everyone needs to grieve in their own particular way and what is best for them. I am trying to be upbeat around the children because I know they are hurting in their own way. I don't want them to be worried about me. I understand the empty feeling inside. It is like someone just tore your heart right from your chest. I hope that things will get better for all of us but I know that I could never be truly happy without him. I have never lived alone and this really stinks. May God Bless you and thanks again for the note.
Comment by Martha Bellezza on May 19, 2010 at 6:12pm
I lost my husband unexpectedly on April 30th of this year And I need people to help me understand this. I am just so lost.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 19, 2010 at 3:01pm
Tom,You're looking better all the time!!Not bad for an old guy with no b-tt
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 19, 2010 at 2:34pm
Yaca,You'll be so glad that you honored Byron that way.Who cares if people squirm.You get tired of people skirting the issue.Hit it head on and take charge! atta girl!
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 19, 2010 at 2:31pm
Tom,What are you going to eat?Virginia and I have a date!!!
Comment by Tom on May 19, 2010 at 11:19am
Kathleen and Virgina,
I'm available on Tuesday night for dinner !
It's senior citizen night, and it's two for the price of one with coupon at Denny's restaurant !
Comment by Yaca Attwood on May 19, 2010 at 8:33am
Greetings to all, and a Happy Byron's Birthday to everyone - the Old, Tired, Decrepit White Man With No Gluetus Maximus would have been 56 on 20 May 2010....I had been dreading this day, but I've decided to _celebrate_ - I'm bringing in bagels, and I told everyone _why_ (don't care if it makes them squirm a bit), and I want to go and find the funniest, most disrespectful card - because that is what I would have given him....I don't know if I quite feel up to going to a nice dinner - we'll see
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 19, 2010 at 8:18am
Any body there???I just couldn't stand to look at "666"comments!!Now that's better!!!
 

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