Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by pippa on June 20, 2010 at 12:39pm
..yesterday was Liza's second memorial service. Her mother had it held in southern NJ where Liza was from.
It has been a month since she died and I feel like all the numbness surrounding her death has worn away now to be replaced with constant pain. Pain that runs the gamut of a constant gnawing at my heart to the feeling of a 500 pound weight on my chest, pain that rips me from end to end as I contemplate my life, the rest of which is to be lived without her. My only connection to Liza right now is my clear knowledge as to how she would want-and expect- me to deal with this.
she would want me to honor her memory- the legacy of her fierce fight to stay alive-by showing strength and resolve and making her proud. But I built my whole life around her and now I've lost my center of gravity, my heart, the sense of anything really mattering at all.
The house is silent, my life is empty. I am going through the motions in hope that it will take-build muscle memory if you will-so that at some point down the road, living my life will come naturally again, rather than now just being a conduit for pain.
Every week so far, I have believed I have seen, felt experienced the worst and I'm making some headway in clawing my way out of my pit of despair, only to realize, come morning, I have fallen back in but somehow, have fallen even further and I am in a worse place with a deeper and more pervasive pain than before.
is this what they mean by hell on earth? it feels like it. I miss her so much. I can't believe I will be living the rest of my life without her by my side.
Comment by kathleen caylor on June 20, 2010 at 7:30am
I'll be thinking of all the fathers that are with us and especially and the ones that aren't.Always in my heart!!!
Comment by Debbie Morey on June 19, 2010 at 5:20pm
Hi, I never spoken here before, but i've been here a few times. My name is Debbie and I lost my husband 0f almost 26 years. He passed away nov. 22nd of 09. It's been almost 7 months. He was diagonoised with lung cancer in oct. of 09 and died in nov.of 09. He went quick and I had No time at all to say goodbye to him and tell him how I always felt about him. I work but I have a hard time just to make it through the day,then I go home to a empty , lonely house. I miss my Husband and I miss Our Life. I feel like my heart was torn right out of my chest, and I go through the day in a zombie state. My family and friends think I'm improving but I am dying inside.... I'm not happy with the life I have now, but I don't know what to do....
Comment by Virginia on June 19, 2010 at 11:06am
Hello everyone. I will be leaving for vacation tommorow.I'm going to the beautiful mountians in north carolina, we are going to the Ashville area but up in the mnts. to see all of gods wonders we have been two times before, this is the first without Mike and I'm having mixed feelings but I just keep having this erge to go. I did last summer too but it was way to close to loosing him, we both loved it there even though mike said it was to far from the ocean he loved the ocean, but I just have such a strong feeling that I need to go back, so we will be leaving around 4 a m lol thats me I always have to leave early and get on the road ( we are driving ) and with a 16 month old not sure how thats going to go lol lol I've told him not to make me throw him off the mountian top as he is teething very bad lol lol just kidding now my niece has strep throat so we will see, I might catch a greyhound back up the road lol. One thing I'm not looking forward to is not being able to come to this site everyday as I sit here thinking about it and crying like a baby lol this site and all of you have been a godsent to me even though I think I'm getting better in the process I still come here first thing in the A M and have my coffee and read the post and write if I feel like it, so I will miss you all this week but will have a lot of reading when I get back. I wish you all peace and comfort and will say a prayer for all of us while on the mountians as ( Laura on the little house on the prerie thought the closer you are to god he will listen lol ) we are going to Chimney Rock N C if you want to look it up on the p c. and you will see what I mean lol it is way high and beautifull Mike was afraid of hieghts and I made him let me take pics. of him on top at the flag lol. we will also be going to grandfathers mnt. and brisen city for a 4 and 1/2 train ride thru the mnt. this we haven't done before then to see the water falls and sliding rock in the pisgah mnts. Maybe I will get my niece to put pics. up when we get back. I truely am going to miss being here but I'll be back, lots of love and comfort to you all. Happy Fathers Day to all the Dads of all kind ( pets ) and I hope all the mothers find some comfort with your familys, love to all. Virginia
Comment by Virginia on June 18, 2010 at 5:31pm
Hi Patricia, I'm so sorry for your loss. You have come to a good place here we all share the grief we all know the pain and lonelyness.I hope you find it helpfull, as we are all in different stages of the grieving process and can help each other thru it. God Bless. Virginia
Comment by Virginia on June 18, 2010 at 5:26pm
Peg, What good news now you can relax a bit, your angel is with you and protecting you. God Bless
Comment by Patricia W. Joyner on June 18, 2010 at 4:27pm
My husband, Gorham, passed away on Feb. 15, 2010. It was very sudden from fluid on his lungs. I miss him very much, but I know that life has to go on!
Comment by kathleen caylor on June 18, 2010 at 2:32pm
Harry must be looking after you!It's nice to have GOOD news for a change!
Comment by Peg Otley on June 18, 2010 at 1:55pm
Hello everyone!

I would like to thank all of you for your prayers for me in reference to my need of a liver transplant.
This morning, I had my appointment for a 2nd opinion and the doctor told me "Although I MAY SOMEDAY need one, He does NOT feel it is necessary at this time!!!! Alleluia !!!!!!!!! Thank you all again and again. Another crisis averted! (for now).
Comment by Virginia on June 17, 2010 at 8:18am
Nina, I'm sorry for your loss, I'm at 13 & 1/2 months and things are just getting better this month for me, but at times the pain and crying is as hard as if it was yesterday. I guess you never know if it will ever end I don't think it will. God Bless all, Virginia

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