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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 10 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Peg Otley on May 12, 2010 at 10:02pm
Thanks Tom,
Believe it or not I am an organ donor!!! Don't know what they'll be able to use when the time comes but I won't change it. I DO have children and family who have been wonderful through the last 5 months. I know they want to help but I feel so guilty since they have families to take care of too. I will TRY to do what I can by myself and then I will contact the hospice that helped Harry. They were wonderful. Thank you for your support. It is much appreciated. I am still spinning in circles after losing Harry in Dec and then my Dad having been in the hospital 3x since that once with a stroke on Valentine's day, the day after his 80th b-day party. He has done well and is able to walk with and w/o his walker (even tho he isn't supposed to) :) He's stubborn. That's why he is still here. Guess I should try to be more like him and I'll do ok. I know the donor wants that but it will be bittersweet IF I'm even able to get an organ. The list is long I'm sure and the matches are few.
To make matters worse, our beloved Pittsburgh Penguins just lost the series....next year! :) Ya gotta try to smile at something ha?
Comment by Peg Otley on May 12, 2010 at 8:57pm
Well once again I am faced with a "first". I had an esophagoscopy today and was told that I need a liver transplant. I had hoped this day would never come. I contracted Hepatitis C about 35 years ago and before they diagnosed it, it had done its damage. HOW IN THIS WORLD am I going to get through this without my Harry, my husband of 36 yrs????? My love of my life. I just don't know if I can do this. It also bothers me that someone will have to lose a loved one in order for me to live. I can't digest this. I don't know if I can do this. Any suggestions besides praying...already doing that.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 12, 2010 at 9:04am
Lois,You know a few months ago,the phone incident would have been devastating.I guess this is a sign of recovery.As I read the entries of the new widows and widowers,I realize how far we have come.Some more than others.This site has been a Godsend!Only some one who has been through this ordeal could relate.So I would like to thank everybody for your support.
Comment by Carmen G Tajalle on May 12, 2010 at 1:22am
Reading each comment with those who lost a spouse. I too lost my husband John to Brain Anerism on July 8, 2007.

I identify with the process of grieving I'm encourage by those of you who open up and share your day to day struggles though as hard as it is I know I'm not alone....
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 11, 2010 at 10:38am
Just went through hubby's clothes.It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it would be.A few sniffs and hugs later and the dresser is done.Now the closet,I think that will be another day.My neck is a little tight.I think the anticipation of such things is worse than the actual chore.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 11, 2010 at 7:29am
Lois,Right there with you and the tire iron!!!I see we share the same sense of patience!Yesterday I was waiting for a call from the a.c.service guy.who works for the company my husband worked for.He called ,but my cell phone said"ERNIE" I have never deleted his number!It seems the company gave this guy my husbands phone.All I could think was "wow" This carrier is GOOD!!!I was a little disappointed to hear someone elses voice!Just thought I'd share.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 11, 2010 at 7:21am
Sandralee,Sorry for your loss.We all are trying to figure out how to go on without the love of our lives.You have my sympathy.this is a place we didn't want to come to.But thank God it's here.Find some peace in knowing you did your best!
Comment by Sandralee Vahey on May 10, 2010 at 10:40pm
I lost my husband on the 4th of May to lung cancer. His was a valiant fight right to the end. He did not want his friends and relatives to know just how sick he was. He put on a good front even in his last days in the hospital. He would always tell everyone that he was going home in a couple of days because he had things to do. I knew in my heart that he was never going to come home again but I loved him too much to ever contradict him even to his friends. The last three months of his life were especially hard on both of us. His pain from the cancer was getting worse with each passing day but he would not let on even to me. I am having a very hard time right now and cry most of the time. I am heart broken over losing him but know that he is not suffering anymore. I'm not sure how to go on with my life without him.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 10, 2010 at 12:23pm
Yaca,You should be a writer!!To think changing a tyre would be so exhilerating!!!You Go Girl!!!!It's got to bring a smile to your face!
Comment by Yvonne on May 10, 2010 at 11:32am
Yay Yacca, you did it!!!
Larry being a good Saskatchewan farm boy always made sure we had the right tools for the job. All our vehicles have the X shaped tire iron you described. He always made sure we were all well looked after.
Yesterday was 9 months since Larry passed away. I was okay yesterday, but not so much today. Today I am packing to go to our lodge for the season. He passed away at the lodge on Aug 9, 2009. I miss him so much. I know tomorrow when I see the KM 220 sign I will start to cry (the lodge is at KM 222). I don't know why but every year when we go up I start crying at the sight of that sign. I think it is because I feel so much at home at the lodge. It is our haven away from all the every day drama and b****s in the world. This year I will cry again at the sight of the sign because I am close to our haven but also because my best buddy won't be with me.
Guess I better get back to packing or I will be up till midnight doing it.
Lots of time to think tomorrow on the 5 hour drive up.
I can do this. I will be okay. I will cry but I will be okay.
Take care Yvonne
 

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