Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Connie on May 18, 2010 at 12:31am
At 12:29am on May 18th, 2010, Connie said…
Yesterday, May 17th, was my husband's "10th" birthday. He received a heart transplant on 5/17/2000. Without the transplant he would not have surived another week but thanks to the very kind donor family, we had 9 1/2 years. In the end, the heart held up when all other organs were just shutting down. His cause of death was "sepsis". The doctors believed that he contacted an infection from where they inserted the catheter to do dialysis. His heart was still good. I dreaded this day like I have dreaded so many other days. I don't know how I am going to get through all the other dreaded days but I must try my best. Thank God for 3 beautiful daughters, 2 fantastic sons-in-law and 5 of the most beautiful grandchildren anyone could ask for. I go to the cemetary to be near him every day and sometimes more than once a day. It gives me some sort of peace knowing that I can be by his body if even for a short time. I wish everyone on this site the best and I am confident that we will all get by in our own way. No one should be judged for what they say when they are venting. We all need to be here for each other because prople who have not experienced this kind of loss just DO NOT understand the lonliness and devastation we feel. God Bless one and all.
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Comment by lindarunion on May 17, 2010 at 9:29pm
i lost my husband of31 years may 5th ifeelso lost .
Comment by Virginia on May 17, 2010 at 8:27pm
Maureen, Hi I don't think we'll ever be normal again,it is a big adjustment for sure.I'm so sorry for your loss,this site is wonderfull everyone is hear for the same reason in one way or another.The good thing is if you feel like writing or just read the post it's all ok.I'm fairley new to the site myself and everyone has been just great.May god give you the strenth to take it as you need too, as we all grieve in a different way. Virginia
Comment by Maureen on May 17, 2010 at 7:58pm
hi this is the first time I've written anything here, my husband died May 9th I am just so lost. Reading comments on this site I know I'm not the only one. But I just can't believe I'll ever feel normal again.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 17, 2010 at 5:55pm
Fred,Julie,Sorry for your losses.When you need an ear to bend or just vent,this is your place.We have all bared our souls here.And you're right it is very theraputic.
Comment by Julie Cleveland on May 17, 2010 at 5:18pm
I lost my husband 3 weeks ago suddenly and have just found this site and have been reading posts. I have found comfort that there knowing that there are others out there suffering the way I am.
Thank You
Comment by Fred Dunn on May 17, 2010 at 3:04pm
I hope few (if any) choose to leave the site as I was set to choose another Psychologist but I find that this site provides me the insight that I am not alone in my loss, specifically the way it happened, and how long we were together.
It has been invaluable for me to hear (read) the way people are coping and reacting to their loss as I know I am not alone.

God bless all,
Fred Dunn
Comment by Mari on May 17, 2010 at 1:34pm
To Sandralee and will be 7 years on June 13. Larry was horribly sick the last year yet continued to work to set up what he felt he needed to leave behind for his family. His last day of work was June 1 and he died on June 13. They remain in our hearts and our souls and our minds forever. Never let go of the memory, but embrace life as much as you can. It is painful, it is lonely. But it will be what you choose to make of it. I finally have chosen to live life by making each day special in some way for Larry. These are sometimes big things I do but mostly just a very tiny thing that only I am aware of. For me he shall always be a part of my life. I miss him terribly but know he is in a better place without pain and without sickness...I am holding my hand out to both of you!

Comment by Patti Baker on May 17, 2010 at 12:25pm
Being new to this site I have been browsing the comments and the one that stands out is Yacca changing the tire. What a story, I have been in that situation before, myself. Now at age 74 I just call AAA. You did a great job , hope your days are getting better
Comment by Patti Baker on May 17, 2010 at 12:08pm
Charlotte and Sandralee, this is not an easy road we are traveling down. I lost my husband one year ago May 5th, I got thru the day with help of friends and family 3 days later our grandson was married -- more tears. The only advice I can give you is to stay busy even if you have to force yourself, I read at night and it makes the night go faster. I talk to my husband all the time, I visit the cemetery eventually the tears will not flow as much, there is always something to trigger them. I am still working - self employed - so it is not as stressful.
We were married 55 years - wonderful years- and I miss him more than words can convey. I have tried to keep busy socially SU football and basketball, Syracuse Stage, Pops concerts all of which I can go to by myself.
What I miss the most is going out to dinner,m going to the club, I did not join this year -- it was too painful going alone. Life does go on -- its just never the same...

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