Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on May 6, 2010 at 11:13pm
Mare...I know exactly who you feel. Its been a little over 12 months since my wife died . I had 44 years with this wonderful woman but wanted more. She was my pal. I cant give you any inspiration as my life is going just like yours. Just wanted you to know there are people out there who are going thru the same things. We will never be the same and hopefully we can go on finding our own way to be able to function. It will never be the same, i know, but perhaps we can cope better as time goes on. God bless.
Comment by kathleen caylor on May 6, 2010 at 12:13pm
The Alicia's of the world are my heroes!True acts of kindness without recognition!A kind word,opening the door,helping an old lady up the curb.Sweet!!!
Comment by Naomi Rennerfeldt on May 5, 2010 at 10:32pm
It has been 14 months since my husband was taken home to Heaven. We had been High School sweethearts and reconnected after 31 years. He was back in my life for a short lived time of only two and a half years. One year and six days of that time we were married. When I first lost him the painful feeling that I had was I wanted to join him. But I focused on my children and that helped me want to continue forward. I still have my moments when I grieve and get angry because I lost him. But when I realize that some day we will be together once again, I find peace knowing that....I love you Wayne and ALWAYS will!! I also miss you sooooo VERY much!!!
Comment by Kim Hawkins on May 5, 2010 at 9:36pm
I can't believe Barry has been gone 23 months today. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and have our old life back. My 16 and 6 year old need their dad here for them. I need the love of my life and best friend back. I still can not understand why he had to go. Somebody said the other day why does bad things happen to good people. I said I dont know. But maybe if only bad things happened to bad people the world would not be inpacked the way it is when it is a good person. Just a thought. Love you Barry and we miss you so much.
Comment by Connie on May 5, 2010 at 1:19pm
Mare, Firstly, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 6 months ago. I understand how you feel and I can tell you that this website is the most helpful place I have found. All the people that I have communicated with on this site have been great. They are helpful and compassionate. We are all having pretty much the same feelings. And I have to tell you, Lois is ONE of my favorites. I wish you the very best.
Comment by Marlena on May 4, 2010 at 9:33pm
Thank you for all the comments.

Yvonne, I am in NY and because we were so unprepared for anything ever happening to either one of will and no insurance...I have to wait for probate to be able to do anything. Originally, my lawyer said I could sign over one of his vehicles, but the rest had to wait for probate to be completed. Well, this is my one vehicle, but it's not working out that way. I guess right now I do just have to play the wait and see game, but I'm going to try to push for another way of getting this taken care of.

Tom, I have never heard about being able to sue a company for ruining your credit unnecessarily. I just might have to use that threat. I am hoping the lawyer is doing what is best. I know Tom's not really going to care about his credit report right now, but I still do and don't want anything bad to go against it. I have been trying really hard to make sure of it, but I still feel like so much is out of my control.

Lois, Thank you...I hope you are right that it will all work out for me. I was able to continue paying on the truck so that there is no balance due, thankfully, that is not an issue. It's the stigma of "repo" that bothers me most I think. I just wanted everything to be settled simply.

We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted
Comment by Mare on May 4, 2010 at 5:44pm
Hi - I am new to this forum. I lost my husband 19 months ago. We were married for 30 years and he died in a fall behind our home. I was absolutely paralyzed for months and have slowly made progress. I have been struggling lately, though, because the loss of my best friend, my support, my everything seems to be sinking in more and more very day. There are no words to describe how much I miss him and still, after 19 months, there are days when I don't know how to go on.
Comment by Tom on May 4, 2010 at 4:14pm
I chickened out and just marked the deceased box and mailed the jury notice form back to them.
Why does logic have to be the right thing all the time.
Comment by Yvonne on May 4, 2010 at 10:45am
Marlena, I don't know how the law works where you are from, but being Tom's spouse are you not the executor or administrator of his estate. That entitles you to sign papers on his behalf does it not?
I think I know how you are feeling. Having the truck listed as repoed just doesn't sit right. There it is in black and white regarding the perfect credit score and this is to be left as a black mark. Not the way you want this to end. You and Tom worked so hard all your life to maintain your perfect credit rating and to have this happen is very upsetting. It just doesn't seem fair that they can do this. I guess my best advice is to listen to your lawyer and wait and see.
Take care Yvonne
Comment by Marlena on May 4, 2010 at 8:51am
I'm having a bureaucratic paperwork issue...does anyone have any suggestions? Recently I had to turn in Tom's truck. It was leased under a "Smartbuy" contract and it's time was up. I did call and ask about turning it in early (after Tom died), but the company wouldn't let me without it being considered reposessed, so I continued to pay on it for a year. I did everything I was supposed to...keeping up my end of the deal so that when it was turned in all my ducks were in a row. Now because he's not here to sign the title back to GMAC they are going to consider the truck "Repo On Paper". It's making me crazy. I've done everything I could to make sure everything was settled properly and they still are using the word repo. They insist it will not effect his credit or mine and the woman even commented on it having a perfect credit rating. I was told because the probate has not been completed they cannot do it any other way. I'm not sure who to believe. My lawyer is saying lets wait and see what the paperwork looks like before signing anything. I just did not want any of his things to be "repoed". I wanted everything to go smoothly....that's not happening. Has anyone else had similar issues?

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