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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: Jun 14

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Discussion Forum

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Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by Virginia on April 29, 2010 at 9:30pm
Hi all, well it is the end of the day10:15 here. The day was long but I got thru it and hope tommorow will be better,I decided to go out to dinner with my nephew and his wife and my great nephew 15 months old and a friend is was good better then eating a ham sandwich lol. I put 2 dozen roses at my husbands grave , one red and one yellow I made a beautifull arrangemnt and we put the vase in the ground. My husband loved flowers and roses were his favorate, he even insisted on these colors for our wedding, lol. no phone calls from kids the one will wait to get drunk so he can get the nerve like he did in feb. lol well bed time for me. god be with us all, see ya tommorow virginia
Comment by Peg Otley on April 29, 2010 at 9:04pm
Ben,
My heart goes out to you. There is nothing worse than watching the love of your life suffering. We don't want them to suffer, yet our own selfishness wants them to stay. It is absolutley normal to feel this way and you are right. You will need friends to support you. I HAVE wonderful family and friends but they don't understand what I am going through like people who have been through it. They just can't imagine. Please know that the most wonderful people are on this site and we will ALL be here to help you in whatever way we can. It's not the same as having someone there to hug you and help ease the pain of being alone. I can't lie. I have been alone since i lost my husband in mid Dec. and I HATE it and miss him terribly. Yiu will go through some awful times and you need to worry about yourself. If you feel you absolutely can't handle it, please call your doctor and let them help you.
I just got out of the hospital (from not really taking care of myself) and I dreaded coming home to the empty house. I will pray that your wife's pain is lessened and maybe it is a false alarm and you can have more precious time if she is able to be comfortable. In a situation like this I always pray that God will do what is best for HER. Make the most of the time you ahve together. There will be no regrets. THAT, in itself will start the comfort.
Peggy
Comment by Ben on April 29, 2010 at 7:39pm
I am in an unusual situation. My spouse is alive but has a critical illness. It is likely that she will not survive for more than a month. I would not intrude upon your group except for two things:

1) We have been married 20 years, and she has had a life-threatening illness or event every couple of years. I am not only sad and frightened this time, I am tired.

2) I am worried about myself because I have no family (and we have no children), and the ravages of her multiple chronic illnesses have taken all our time - meaning I have only 1 or 2 friends now - both live thousands of miles away. Similarly, my work is entirely done by myself. It is something created with my wife, but it's specialized nature is such that I cannot bring in anyone else.

I spend all the time I can with my wife. It is wonderful and also means my lonliness will be that much more intense and unrelieved after she dies.

I hope she will survive and that this is premature. Any suggestions are most welcome.
Comment by Virginia on April 29, 2010 at 6:22am
Today is one year I had to let him go I thought I'd be ok, boy what a crock that is. A soon as I woke the tears began to flow and I can't see to write. I put on one of his flannel shirts that still has his smell I pray he will give me the strenth I need to carry on till we are one again. God be with us all today and everyday. virginia
Comment by Yvonne on April 29, 2010 at 12:31am
LOL Tom
Comment by Tom on April 28, 2010 at 11:59pm
No problem !
Just do what my cats do. Take a big pooop and you will have room for more !
Comment by Yvonne on April 28, 2010 at 10:55pm
Tom, just wanted to let you know that on the way home from a meeting I stopped and bought 2 donuts. I ate them both and they were delicious. Now I feel like I ate too much, guess I should have only eaten one. LOL
Comment by Kim Hawkins on April 28, 2010 at 8:24pm
No limit I hope
Comment by Virginia on April 28, 2010 at 5:31pm
Tom, no none of them lol OMG is it that picky lol is there a limit to how much you write at one time thanks virginia
Comment by Virginia on April 28, 2010 at 10:24am
LOL Lois, I didn't use bad words.I think it was to long ,I don't know
 

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