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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1370
Latest Conversations: 1 hour ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Thomas L. Trolia 1 hour ago. 8 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on January 12, 2019 at 5:06pm

Sara ...  I know just how you feel since Ken passed.  Grief is so strange and it seems the years go by quickly, but at the same time so slow when we live from day to day.  It will be 8 years since Ernie passed and I miss him every day, but the heartache is a little less.  May I suggest buying a helium balloon, printing love notes on it and going to Ken and your favorite place and let the balloon sail up to heaven.  I do that and it makes one feel better.  I like to think they are up there ready to catch that balloon.   Chin up my dear friend and I'm thinking of you.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on January 12, 2019 at 5:00pm

Sara ,,,  Thank you so much for the belated b/d wishes.  I'm at that age where I kiss the ground I made it another year.  Older than dirt!  LOL  Don't feel it and people say I don't look it.  Good gene pool.  Because my birthday was on a Tuesday my girlfriends and I are kicking up our heels Feb. 2nd instead.  I'm for that!  LOL

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2019 at 4:45pm

So here it is, the eve of another dreaded anniversary.  Tomorrow, Jan 13th will be 3 years since Ken left this world.   I can't believe 3 years have already passed.  I think about him all day every day so it doesn't seem possible that much time has gone by but it also seems like forever.

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 12, 2019 at 4:41pm

Happy Belated Birthday Marsha!  I hope you have/had fun kicking up your heels.

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 11, 2019 at 10:22am

Happy belated, Marsha! Hope it was a fun day for you! We want full disclosure on you heel kicking on Monday. Lol

Comment by Marsha H on January 10, 2019 at 3:55pm

Dear DJ ...  Thanks for the birthday wishes.  I appreciate it and surprised you remembered.  Not celebrating until the weekend and then kicking up my heels if my legs will go that far!  LOL

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by DJ on January 10, 2019 at 9:27am

Happy birthday, Marsha.

Comment by Diane C on January 2, 2019 at 11:35am

Marsha,

Good to see you back on here. And great to see Janeo again.... kind of like the good old days... haha.

Love you both,

Diane

Comment by Mary. Jane on January 1, 2019 at 9:25pm

Oh, Sara..I am so sorry you had those dreams,knowing he was ill. 

I don,t think I had any dreams like that about Bob while he was sick...but deep inside, when he was diagnosed, I knew he was going to die. I DIDN,t think it would be within 4 months from diagnosis to death,.but ever since I met him, he was always terrified of getting cancer,  cuz he knew if he ever did,he would die. 

I HATE cancer doctors, as they know how to string it out, as long as they can..only giving one test at a time..giving you false hope...and charging as much as they can while they tell you 5 years for lung cancer..then OOPS! Well they,re going to give you another test...they call it Eyes to Thighs...CT scan...then, oops...another test for something unrelated......and each time they find something new...if they would have given ALL the testing the first month, we could have known he had brain cancer and goneon a vacation the early months, instead of spending every day at the cancer center wasting what was left of his life, giving false hope and making buckets of $$$$. 

Ok, I am sorry I ruined your heartfelt post...at least your dreams gave you some sort of insight into the future. Albeit, it wasn,t something you wanted..but I think our dreams, in some way, help us foresee what could happen, and prepare us for both good, and sad. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on January 1, 2019 at 4:06pm

Mary Jane.....I see your post questioning whether any of us have had dreams of not being able to reach our spouses.  I actually started have those dreams about 2 months BEFORE Ken passed away.  That's how I knew what Heaven's plans were.  The doctors were saying one thing but my dreams were saying something else and as much as I wanted to believe the doctors, I knew better.  One of those dreams was similar to the one Chuck mentioned.  I was at a street fair type of place and could see Ken at a table across the street but by the time I crossed, he was already gone.  Then I saw him at a table under a tent and again, he was gone when I got there.  There were several other dreams of this nature.  Some of them included him leaving his wallet and cell phone at home and just leaving.  Those dreams were upsetting because I knew what was coming.  Now dreaming about him is the only time I feel normal although it doesn't happen as much as in the beginning. 

 

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Thomas L. Trolia left a comment for Barbara Rieger
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Thomas L. Trolia replied to Sharon Kinsey's discussion Finding the new normal in the group Bereaved Spouses
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"Five months today. Sad, but not depressed. Sometimes go to the riders side, then remember I am the driver and have to take control. sigh"
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