Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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New member

Started by denise. Last reply by Sara Murphy Oct 10. 3 Replies

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Kaela Roster Federle Sep 25. 27 Replies

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Comment by Deb S on October 6, 2017 at 4:30pm

Steve, Thanks for the update. It is awesome that the MRIs did not show any nerve damage. I hope and pray that the spot on the thyroid is easy to treat. Please continue to take care of you.  Debbie

Comment by Steve on October 6, 2017 at 4:02pm

Dear Legacy family,

The MRIs for me did not show any nerve damage in my neck or spine, it does show a dark spot on my thyroid gland.  Seems that my thyroid might be acting up, it can cause a lot of symptoms that can be misread, including carpal tunnel symptoms.  My next step is to have a sonogram on the thyroid, back to primary physician for blood work and schedule occupational therapy...lots going on...the neurologist did say that my spine and neck did not look like most 70 year olds and that there were only two places that  even resembled slight arthritis, and even those areas were not pressing against the nerves...he did prescribe mild pain relievers for the pain in my hand, will report when I know more... 

Comment by Sara Murphy on October 6, 2017 at 2:12pm

Deb.......Kaela is right, it's too soon.  You were with Greg for so long that 5 months might as well be 5 minutes so it's normal to still feel deep sadness now.  It's not fun and does weigh us down but unfortunately, that's the price we have to pay for the deep love we had with our spouses.   I too hate feeling this way but I wouldn't trade a minute of the almost 30 years I had with Ken for an ounce less pain.  He is worth everything to me including having to deal with this grief for the next X number of years. 

Comment by Kaela Roster Federle on October 6, 2017 at 12:07am

Deborah, It's only been 5 months (your husband died in May right?). I know you are in so much pain and you want relief from it but you gotta give yourself a break. It is still so early. I wish I could relieve your pain. Just know we are all here for you and we all know how you feel.

Comment by deborah peck on October 5, 2017 at 11:17pm

Don't know how to rise above this horrible sadness that I feel all the time, Ive always been a very positive person but I cant seem to snap out of this and I hate feeling this way, even though I go about my daily life it is still there taking away any joy I might normally feel. 

Comment by Sara Murphy on October 5, 2017 at 9:27pm

Deb P.....I love that poem.  It's so accurate and how I feel most days.  I think I'm going to post it on Facebook

Comment by deborah peck on October 5, 2017 at 1:23pm

True words Steve

Comment by deborah peck on October 5, 2017 at 1:21pm

and yes Mary Jane the comment button is messed up

Comment by deborah peck on October 5, 2017 at 1:20pm

No one really knows what to say besides "how are you doing" but people should say What can I do to help you thru this", its a tough thing to figure out the polite way to address someone who lost a loved one ,I myself cannot stand the phrase "widow, it sounds like a disease and makes it sound like I am different

Comment by Mary. Jane on October 5, 2017 at 12:27pm
I am glad it is not just me..thanks Beard!

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