Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on March 30, 2019 at 10:33pm

Marsha, its a darn shame we couldn,t meet for a weekend of fun and frivolity. We could have so much fun together! We are both super outgoing and the two of us could really kick A$$!

Comment by Marsha H on March 30, 2019 at 5:24am

Mary.Jane ...  Nice to hear from you.  I've always been a very extroverted person and when Ernie was still here we had loads of friends, but as grief counseling warned the group for some reason many friends seem to fade away.  Also some of my friends are older than myself and not well.  In fact, going out on Sunday to visit a dear friend who is terminal and it's going to be difficult.  

I have my 2 lovely little dogs so I know what you mean by pets keeping one from being totally lonely.  My Tootsie is 16 and at the present time eating, drinking well, but has slight dementia and I have had her in every 2 weeks to the vets to be sure she isn't in pain.  I know the day is coming soon when I will have to say goodbye to my fur baby.  I will still have Booker my other little dog, but he will miss Tootsie and he has bad separation anxiety.  

It helps when you have a good relationship with one of your children and unfortunately, I don't have children.  My nephews who live just down the street from me are moving April 1st a fair way from me and I am really going to miss them.  

Don't worry so much about something happening to your dear kitty or your daughter and enjoy them every single day.  

Comment by Marsha H on March 30, 2019 at 5:19am

Sara ....  Thank you for the lovely post.  I am gaining strength all the time and trying to keep busy as I can.  I hope you don't get this flu either.  As I said in another post I haven't had the flu since the 70's.  This one is a sneaky flu and you can catch it again so like you I use Purell on my hands as well and wash my hands as soon as I come home.  You are so lucky you are working and wish I could, but can't cut the mustard at my age anymore.  Long days aren't for me anymore.  LOL

I hope you have peaceful and happy days and stay healthy.

Comment by Sara Murphy on March 28, 2019 at 11:38am
Deb...It's nice to see your post. I hope you're doing as well. I haven't posted much lately either, partly because work is crazy and partly because I feel like I've healed as much as I'm going to and don't want to bring down the group with my thoughts. I love Ken with every inch of my soul and will never get over him/past him/beyond him etc. Although I don't feel there's much of a future for me, I still want everyone here to find happiness. Who knows, maybe some day God will put someone in my path and I'll eventually feel differently. Until then...….
Comment by Sara Murphy on March 28, 2019 at 11:25am
Hi Marsha...I hope you're feeling a bit better. Knock on wood I haven't had the flu but it was going around work and I did my best to keep to myself and use lots of purell. I'm sorry your nephew is moving further away. It's hard to feel "orphaned" as you say. I'm glad you have the one good neighbor you can count on. That's hard to come by these days.
Comment by Mary. Jane on March 28, 2019 at 10:50am

I am sorry you both feel lonely at times. For some reason, I don,t feel overly “lonely” per say...I miss Bob, and lately I am very angry that he left me here all alone...cuz I don,t know how to drive,  so I am pretty much stuck at home...but my kitty REALLY helps most  loneliness I might feel. He doesn,t act like a regular cat..more like a’s wonderful!  I live in TERROR as he gets older..and also n terror that something will happen to my daughter, Melinda...but coming here helps me know I am not alone in my grief and anger. My daughter calls me every night on her drive home from work, and we talk for about 45 mins each night. Maybe that is a big help to me not feeling lonely, as I know I have her and she loves me and cares about me unconditionally. She, and Rudy my kitty are basically saving my life.

It,s kind of nice to know when I come here, I am not the only one in pain..and I like hopefully helping others get thru the horrid times.

Comment by Marsha H on March 28, 2019 at 4:17am

Deborah P ...  It's great seeing you post.  Yes, I too am lonely and I try hard every single weekend to make something pleasant happen if only one day out of the weekend.  I'm hanging in there, but life sure can be a pain.

I hope this post finds you in fairly good spirits and trust me, I get the loneliness part.



Comment by deborah peck on March 27, 2019 at 11:42pm

I don't get on here very much anymore, it just reminds me of how hard this is and how lonely I am. I do think of you all though and catch some of your post, hope everyone is doing well

Comment by Marsha H on March 25, 2019 at 5:08am

Mary.Jane ...  Thanks so much and day by day I'm feeling a little better.  I am out and about and as long as I keep moving doing errands I can manage, but OMG, once home I am so warn out and have to take a nap.  This getting old isn't for sissies.  LOL  

I don't get the flu shot either.  My retired doctor and another doctor said it was better to build up your own immune system unless you had diabetes or other types of diseases that called for the flu shot.  I've heard by the time one gets the flu shot it's already mutated.

Thanks also about my Tootsie girl.  She, of course is a link to Ernie.  She is frisky off/on so it's not time, but there are times I feel it is time for her and my nerves are on top of my skin.  I think all us pet owners worry about that day and it's never easy.

Thanks for caring my friend.



Comment by Mary. Jane on March 24, 2019 at 12:10pm again..MARSHA I forgot to say how sorry I am u got that flu! A close friend got it and it is REALLY bad! I hope you are feeling better each day.

I have never had a flu shot..Bob would get one every year,but I DIDN,t trust them. So I try to b careful in public,I really don,t go out much, when I do I wear those disposable gloves at stores etc.I even wear them to my monthly Bunko game and roll the dice with them on. The best thing about getting old is you don,t much give a rats A$$ what people think. LOL within reason.


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