Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Comment by deborah peck on December 11, 2019 at 7:28am

Trying to get into the Christmas spirit this year but not really feeling it. Every year since Greg passed I try to get my kids and grandkids an Auburn tigers football item as that was Gregs team so I try to incorporate him into our holidays, this year I got all the girls and Auburn charm bracelet and the boys a wallet and a hoodie, just my way of him still being a part of it all.I still put up an Auburn Christmas tree but this year the decorations are on the porch tree as my grandkids asked me to do it this way, maybe its easier for them? Going to finish up the rest of my shopping today (online) then meeting my daughter to go see Meet me in St, Louis, at the movies tonight so that should be fun,its one of our favorite classics, hope you all have a great day

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 2, 2019 at 11:34am

I am so sorry Deborah P. My heart goes  out to you and your family. I always wonder why many people choose holidays to leave this life..but they do. In a sense, it seems like a wonderful sort of logistics gift they leave their families are already gathered.

If this sounds horrible, I apologize, but I  KNOW Bob chose the timing of his own death. I think your B I L also did. I find it sort of comforting that humans with lengthy illnesses have some control over the end of their  lives.

I wish you and your family love and you begin this process of grieving. 

Comment by Steve G. on December 2, 2019 at 6:57am

Dear Deborah P,

So sorry to hear of the loss of your brother-inlaw, loss of a loved one in anyone's family affects the whole family.  Prayers for you and your family.  As Marsha said, holidays are the worst time for any of us.

As each year passes, I still tend to withdraw from social activities and from my family.  Old habits are hard to overcome.  

Hugs to you and your family


Comment by Marsha H on December 2, 2019 at 3:03am

Dear Deborah P ..

My deepest condolences on the passing of your brother-in-law.  I am so sorry to hear that he has passed away and being so close to Christmas like you and the rest of us we know that terrible journey your sister will be going through.  You certainly have my prayers each night. 



Comment by deborah peck on December 1, 2019 at 9:06am

my family has been going thru a lot this past week, my brother in law was in the hospital and they sent him home on hospice so we were all split up for the holiday and all wanting to be together but my sister has such a small condo we couldn't be but we all took turns going there. Early this morning he passed away and while he is at peace my sister Sheris journey has just begun and we all know how painful that is. So prayers or well wishes sent our way would be great, I too am glad to see everyone posting again, maybe we should all jump on here once a week just to keep everyone updated and say hi.

Comment by deborah peck on December 1, 2019 at 9:01am

Mary Jane so glad you had a good Thanksgiving and your house is now your home, that makes all the difference

Comment by Mary. Jane on November 30, 2019 at 10:16pm

Awwwww, no, thank all of YOU!

i am so happy everyone has started posting again. I came here often over the last few months, thinking maybe the emailed posts had gone into my junk folder. It is almost a reunion of sorts. YAY!!!

Comment by Steve G. on November 30, 2019 at 7:14pm

It sure makes a difference when you finally feel like you can call your place  is Home.  A big step for each one of us on this journey, especially when moving or relocating is involved.  Holidays in general are very stressful on their own, add to that memories of lost loved ones and you can loose what control you maintain.

So happy for you Mary Jane.

Comment by Marsha H on November 30, 2019 at 6:10pm

Mary Jane ...  So glad to hear you had a great time for your Thanksgiving and that you are beginning to feel that your house is your home now.  Way to go girl!

Melinda is such a sweetheart and hey, send her to me!  LOL



Comment by DJ on November 29, 2019 at 7:39pm

Mary Jane, you are truly blessed with Melinda. Pass on hugs for her! And "yay!" that your house is now home. 

As an aside:  formal military dinners often have a full place setting at a lone table aside from the main ones for "fallen comrades"; and all rise after the meal for a toast specifically to those fallen comrades.


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