Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2020 at 5:11am

Deborah ...  you never cease to amaze me.  Yes, Ernie's b/d was Aug. 30th.  I got through it OK and kept busy.  Whether it sounds weird or not during special holidays such as Valentine's Day, Christmas and New Year's I still buy him a card for each one, but not his b/d.  I just wish wish him a happy b/d out loud.  Thanks so much my dear friend for thinking of my Ernie.  I certainly appreciate it.



Comment by Mary. Jane on August 30, 2020 at 6:35pm

Wow, DJ! You remembered Ernies birthday? That is soo thoughtful of you!  I can only remember TWO birthdays..MINE, cuz I am self centered, and Melindas, cuz I was THERE when she was born! (Ok, I know BOBS, but it passes almost un noted these days)

Comment by DJ on August 30, 2020 at 5:26pm

Isn't today Ernie's birthday?  I wish you pleasant memories.

Comment by Marsha H on August 30, 2020 at 4:36pm

Dear Deborah ...

It's great to see you post and I've missed you.  Happy to hear you have gotten away and enjoyed yourself even with this virus going around.  You deserved the time away.  So sorry that you had to have that surgery, but was relieved that you are free and clear of the cancer now.  I do believe in bird signs by our loved ones.  Ernie's favorite bird were Robins and every so often one will cross my path and I just feel it's him checking in on me.

As you know I live just outside Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada and we're back to wearing masks almost everywhere.  The 2o year olds to the 30 year old refuse to listen to any warnings of this virus and keep having huge crowds of parties and since many of the Pubs closed because no one would listen to the rules these young people have now taken to the beach.  Police are handing out heavy duty fines, but I doubt most won't be paid.  Can't complain with the exception I need a holiday as well, but can't go anywhere so have been gardening and throwing junk out of the house and giving some to charity.  I'm trying now to figure out what I can do through the winter months.  Find it difficult because my Bible Study Group isn't meeting in person and I don't do Zoom.  Also no adoption days for the dogs that I use to go to every Sunday.  Hope this passes soon.  Keep safe my friend and am truly happy you are over the worst of it.  

Comment by Steve G. on August 30, 2020 at 12:41pm

Awesome story Deborah!

We get Blue Jays, Cardinals and a lot of Doves.  The doves shed their feathers the most, but last week Chuck found 2 Cardinal feathers.

Good to hear You are healing, stay safe and rest.

Comment by deborah peck on August 30, 2020 at 11:55am

Hope everyone is well these days, I took a road trip to my sisters in North Dakota, it was so nice to go someplace, but it was also a little scary, mask and lots of handsanitizer but have now been home for 2 weeks so figure Im good.  I had to have a major surgery on my face for skin cancer when I got back, was a huge incision from my nose across my cheek and then from my nose almost to my chine, recoup has been awful but is looking better and thank God we have to wear mask right now, hides it until it heals when I go out.I was supposed to go back last week for another place on my nose, not as drastic but was dreading it, that morning I saw 3 blue jays at my bird feeders, a first. The blue jay I think is Greg because he always wanted to see one but we never had any here, so I told him good morning and went to the surgeon, well, long story short the place was no longer there, doc couldn't find it so no surgery. I think seeing all the blue jays was Greg telling me it was all good. Love signs from him

Comment by Marsha H on August 21, 2020 at 6:57am

I am happy most of you are doing fairly well considering and I do keep in touch with what is going on in the U.S.  I'm the only Canadian gal on here.  LOL  I worry about all of you and between COVID and politics it's all over the world.  Also in Canada we are in a bit of a political frenzy re the Prime Minister.  We had one day of a horrific heat wave we've never had as long as I've lived here and they even called it desert-like.  Over 100 degrees and yes, in the Interior of BC we can get those high temps, but not near the coast where I live.  It's still very humid here although raining which is refreshing to a degree.  I can say COVID isn't getting to many here and starting August 21 all have to wear masks no matter where they go.  Our economy is not good and I just got a list sent to me via email how over 30 stores closing down permanently.  

Since I'm an old bat these things don't bother me as much although I do have my days.  I keep busy helping where I can and one good thing out of this is I have cleaned up things in my house I haven't looked at in years.  LOL 

All of you are in my prayers and I hope each one of you just lay it on the line on this forum be it religion, politics or whatever you fear.  It affects us more because of our grief so it fits in.  The world is changing at a rapid rate and I just 'pull out the popcorn' and see where I can help.  

Love you all and pray for you all


Comment by Marsha H on August 21, 2020 at 6:49am

Hi Mary Jane ...  I am so happy that you are having good memories of Bob that uplift you.  I am sure he is around you and I do believe you and your daughter will come out of this just fine.  I have seen the fires that are out of control and I hope everyone is safe and sound.  I'll be praying tonight for all of you on this form.  

I LOVED talking to you and you have a good sense of humor as well considering what is happening where you are.   We also have raging fires in the Interior of B.C.   I really enjoyed our conversation.  We seemed to be like two peas in a pod.  LOL  It's good to express feelings and I hope to do it soon again.

Take care my friend and keep in touch on the form so we know all is well with you.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Sara Murphy on August 20, 2020 at 7:50am

Hi Mary Jane…..I watch the news and see these fires and my heart breaks.  It's just so unreal.  I pray you and your family remain safe.  Please check in again when you're able to.   It's awesome that you and Marsha were able to talk and connect on that level.  Nice to put a voice to the name.

Chicago and Todd....I know you're both in CA as well.  I pray that you're both safe

Comment by Mary. Jane on August 19, 2020 at 7:02pm

Hi everyone. Happy to,see everyone is in hopeful spirits. For myself. Everything is just WEIRD. I am trying to be positive..the good thing..lately I have been having “little flashbacks “ of things Bob would say, things we did..memories of tiny incidents I had completely forgotten..yes, my memory has been ROARING back..but each one is both wonderful, and heart wrenching at the same time..

If you’ve seen the news, you might have heard..more wildfires in California this past week. and now...the entire STATE has SOOO daughter is here, mandatory evacuation, but her hubby is still at home..with the cat..she is miserable..he is ok so far..We are just waiting to be where we don,t know..we are packed and ready at a moments notice..and I am ramBling.

HAD A WONDERFUL experience about 2 weeks ago..MARSHA and I talked n the phone! It was soooo cool! We were never at a loss for words, talked for a bit over an hour! She is  fun, smart and was awesome.

Bye for now..stay safe and happy.


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