Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: Sep 11

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by deborah peck on August 31, 2019 at 9:18am

Marsha, happy birthday to your Ernie, He is having a celebration with all the angels in Heaven

Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2019 at 3:35am

Dear Steve ...  I apologize for not answering your post sooner.  You know how it goes; one thing after the other happens and I find it difficult to keep up with it at times.  I'm tough and I'll manage.  LOL

I am so happy you arthritis is getting better in your hand and that you aren't having side effects from the shots.  I hope it continues.  I have a little arthritis, but my theory as far as myself 'if I don't move it, I lose it.'  LOL

Much love back & hugs


Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2019 at 3:32am

DJ ... What a great memory you have and thanks from the bottom of my heart.  It's been 8 years now since Ernie passed and slightly easier, but do miss cooking his special meal and b/d cake.  Seems for all of us all the old traditions leave a big hole in our lives.

I hope you are doing well my friend.



Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2019 at 3:30am

Diane C ...  How wonderful to see you post and always when I do post you are right there my friend.  Thank you!  I imagine many people are having issues and I'll live.  I hope things are going well for you?  

Miss you too!

Comment by DJ on August 30, 2019 at 3:46pm

Marsha, happy birthday to Ernie.

Comment by Diane C on August 27, 2019 at 11:28am
Hi Marsha,
So glad to hear that you are ok. Sounds like some rough time for you though. Glad to hear you have a new addition and a playmate for Booker T. She sounds wonderful. Sorry to hear about all the sadness around you though. But it is so nice to see you posting again. Missed you!!!

Love ya, Diane
Comment by Steve G. on August 26, 2019 at 5:32pm


Good to hear from you!  Based on your post you have had one heck of a month.

Happy to hear you have a new pet, hope you post a picture when you get a chance.

Not much news to report from me, still taking my shots every 3 months, side effects are minimal and my arthritis in my right hand is improving.

Sending hugs and lots of love your way.

Comment by DJ on August 26, 2019 at 1:53pm

Hey Marsha, long time no see; welcome back!

Comment by Marsha H on August 26, 2019 at 5:53am

Many parts of the U.S. for decades relied on guns.  Try taking a gun from a Texan!  It is part of history.  That's the start of it.  When a person can go into Walmart and buy a semi automatic weapon there is certainly something very wrong with that.  Also fake ID's and under the counter money crossing palms to get whatever guns a certain person wants is rampid.  Also it's to do with the Mexican Border and Drug Cartels and here is a link one should read:  

Canada has strict gun laws, but not saying that during the night they can't get their hands on semi automatics bought from a seller on any dark street or in an alley.  Our gun laws are very strict and anyone who sells guns and is taking money under the table without proper waiting time has a hefty fine, can lose their business license and do prison time.  Still the crime is beginning to getting worse here as well.  Not as bad as the U.S., but it's getting there.  

Most Canadian families do not have guns in their homes and those that do are rifles for hunting and locked away.  Still, we've have had some drive-by shooting in Vancouver and Surrey to name a few places and getting worse.  There has to be an answer somewhere to stop this, but unfortunately the powerful get the say in this matter.  If one goes back in history the crime rate involving mass shootings started shortly after the Vietnam ware was over.  Even before the Government ordered that security open fire on Burkly  Students.  I feel crime is here to stay unfortunately.

Comment by Marsha H on August 26, 2019 at 5:36am

Dear Jan ...  My condolences on the loss of your husband Ron.  It's such a deep loss, but Legacy is a wonderful place to come and the people on here know exactly what each other feels.  You speak candidly about what you are feeling and many of us have heard it all.  No judgments are made.  We are all very supportive of each other.

My husband Ernie passed April 27, 2011 of pancreatic cancer and he truly was my soul mate.  We knew each other 45 years and we just missed our 40th Wedding Anniversary.  The day he passed in Hospice I came home my girlfriend wanted to stay, but I told her to go home.  I found myelf in a state of shock and wandering aimlessly through the gardens and all of a sudden a Blue Jay (I live in British Columbia, Canada just outside of Vancouver and we don't get a lot of Blue Jays) came swooping down and dropped a beautiful blue feather.  I have had many signs since then.  I honestly believe our loved one comes to check on us every so often.  

This site and the people in it saved my life literally.  I am always so grateful to all of them and some have moved on while some have stayed.  I feel I owe something to help others so every so often I come and post.  I miss everyone here and yes, we are family and now you are part of our family.

Be kind to yourself and grief when you feel like it and cry when you want to.  Eventually your deep grief will ease where you can reinvent who you are and find some peace in life.  We are all here for you.

Hugs (because you need it)



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