Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: 23 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 21, 2019 at 5:43pm

Happier times: many moons ago in Hawaii for our wedding anniversary. Now it all seems like a distant dream...

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 21, 2019 at 5:42pm

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 21, 2019 at 5:41pm

Hello Diane, MaryJane, and Steve, and All Others,

Yes, it's been slow here, but as MaryJane humorously commented, If you post, they will come. And sure enough, here we are! :-) Thank you for checking in and saying hello. This arching out is so important to our day to day survival.

I can only speak for myself: the reason I haven't posted in a while is that there really is not much to say except for the same old, same, how much I miss Joseph every single day, how the years fly by, and how each single day stretches out too long. And last Friday was Joseph's birthday; he would have turned 54. The marker days hit the hardest.

Something very interesting happened that I took it to be a sign from Joseph. I had decided to hide under the covers on Joseph's birthday, but out of the blue on the day before, a student of Joseph and mine from whom I hadn't heard from from a while, emailed me and said that she was coming  into town, and if I would please meet up with her because she still remembers Joseph and me fondly from all those years ago. This was too much to be a coincidence, I knew in my heart it was Joseph sending this student to me on his birthday so i would not be utterly miserable on his birthday. I invited the student out to dinner and we celebrated Joseph on his birthday. I passed the day in a bittersweet way, no major breakdown.

We, fold on this site, have to go on living when our soulmate, the love of our life is no longer with us. People who have not lost the love of their life do not understand the pain and sorrow this brings.

Steve, glad to hear that all is well with your medical news. 

Here is wishing you all a day that is bearable and not too depressing. Peace.

Comment by Diane C on March 21, 2019 at 11:25am

So good to hear from you MaryJane and Steve. I can really relate to you Steve with the doctors appointments and followups. I just saw my primary 2 weeks ago and I had gained 10 lbs in the past 6 months. I blame it on all the running taking care of my mom, and now depression has hit me after her death. I know these are only excuses and I really need to work on the diet and exercise regime. I have an appt with my cardiologist on Tuesday. He will be even less happy with me and my weight gain. Oh well, not much I can do about it before Tuesday.. haha. Glad to hear you and Chuck both got good reports. Getting old really takes its toll on us. The weather in Ohio sounds just like yours in Texas, except out temperatures are much cooler. But we can do 3 seasons in the same week. No wonder everyone is either sick or depressed. Hang in there, winter is bound to finally leave us. Thanks for letting us know you are doing well!! 

Comment by Steve G. on March 21, 2019 at 7:58am

I think that everyone is still reeling from the time change.  

The weather here in Texas has not been as frightful as some other parts; we get winter one day and then spring the next.  Today will start off with winter, then by mid-day spring.

Each day is different for us all I guess.  

Mary Jane, Chuck sent you an email to your personal account about a week ago.   I went ahead two weeks ago and upgraded his desk top with a new tower and windows 10.  Both of us have been busy with doctor visits these past few months...good news from it seems that each month one of us is doing follow up visits.  I check in daily on this site to see what's what, glad to hear from you  Diane and Mary Jane.

My primary Doc wants me to exercise and loose weight, I just don't think they get how we 'vintage' folks feel about all that, lol.  For me, I have lost 26 lbs mostly because of the radiation treatments, cause they left me weak and not really hungry.  But I pressed on and altered my intake of salt and sugur and cholesterol.  I am so close to breaking my goal of being under 200 lbs, I am sitting on 201 currently and I am more active and have more energy.  Next month I will be 71, so I am trying to get to at least 180 before our dreadful summer hits us in May or June...

Thanks for checking in Diane and Mary Jane...hope others will to.

Hugs to all.

Comment by Mary. Jane on March 20, 2019 at 10:56pm

Hi Diane, everyone is probably busy, happy or so overwhelmed they can,t even think of posting. (I am the last one)..Yes, I HATE the slow times...especially when I feel I need someone to be here..but this is cheesy, if you post it, they will come. Pun INTENDED. So if u r having a tough time just post.

Comment by Diane C on March 20, 2019 at 11:32am

Just checking in to see where everyone went. Its been a few weeks since there has been much activity here. Just wondered if you are doing ok. I know there was a lot of nasty weather for a couple weeks. But I hope that is over now. I hope everyone is doing ok. Miss reading everyone's  comments. Even though I don't comment much, your comments sure help others including myself more than you will ever know. Miss you all!! ♥

Comment by Diane C on March 12, 2019 at 11:35am

I feel so bad for you!! We had some very windy, rainy weather here too. I had a tree fall on the house in 2012 and I am scared to death when the wind blows that bad. I do understand what you are saying about pets feeding off us. My dog does the same thing. I lost power for the entire day Sunday, but all is better now. I wear one of those hats with the flashlight built in too. Works very well when you have no power. I am sorry to hear you are in so much pain. It would be nice if we could wave a wand and get all the things done we need. Can't believe all the problems you are having trying to sell the items on ebay. Hardly worth all your trouble. I hope you feel better soon and you and Rudy are able to calm down and get yourselves comfortable again. It is so hard to do this on our own. I wish we all lived in the same community and could help each other out. That would be wonderful for all of us. Take care MaryJane! And don't get me started on this damn time change.... you said it all!!
Comment by Mary. Jane on March 11, 2019 at 3:05pm

Oh, Diane...when I read your post, I burst into tears. Thank you. This past week or two has been a nightmare in most every way. The one GOOD thing, is that I have felt Bob here with me, trying to comfort me ..yeah I know that sounds nuts, but it is true.

Friday I spent the day preparing for storms and tornados, repacked my backpack that holds Rudy’s food, (my cat) and some essentials,  vacuumed out the was expected to start at 3am giant hail, and screeching winds were shaking the house so badly, that Rudy is STILL terrified... us of the storms, and my stress..animals feed off our emotions, he has been going from room to room for 3 days...over and over...Hasn’t slept like usual..I sort of got sick Sat while grocery shopping, I had to sit on a home and actually thought I was dying..lied down and waited...couldn,t eat for 3 days, Melinda  sent me a pic of them bleaching the wooden floors of their cabin..with a mask and miners light on her head..I am trying to get this house ready to meds are making me sick...cuz I have been in so much pain from lifting and hauling stuff..last night was the final straw..I had listed some stuff on EBay..only two were from th U.S. so I had to cancel their bids...and one still hasn’t,t I removed ALL my listings..and I am DONE with selling. I had a bunch of Kirks Folly stuff for I took the items that I canceled and put them in a box with the one necklace that DID sell, and I am GIFTING it to the nice lady that paid right away. Why not? It is just stuff, and doesn,t make any difference. 

Wow, when I read this back, it seems SOOO TRIVIAL...but every little thing seems to set me off...and the cherry on top is DAYLIGHT SAVINGS.  OMG why? No one likes it! The farms are gone..let’s leave the clocks the same all year!

OK I feel better now..not really, I am just overwhelmed. Thanks for that, Diane. I wish someone would hug me and somehow I would feel better.  I DO realize how fortunate I really am..I just wanna whine about it.

Comment by Diane C on March 11, 2019 at 1:17pm

I read this posted on a Daily Grief Support Email I receive...  "One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all of your broken pieces will stick back together" - Anonymous

Give someone a hug. It is good for your soul, and makes you feel connected. Hope everyone is ok...


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