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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1359
Latest Conversations: 23 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

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Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 5:53pm

Thank you, Steve.

Humming birds are astonishing creatures.  How can we not know the awesome beauty of God's creation?

Comment by Steve on December 24, 2017 at 5:08pm

Dear Legacy Family,

Something I found recently and thought this would be a good day to share especially since it is Christmas Eve,

Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation".

A special wish for everyone on Legacy that each one of us can find peace and comfort during the holiday season.

Comment by David Heggi on December 24, 2017 at 5:00pm

Thank you, Chicago,

Wishing for you peace and love - all the best!

David H

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 24, 2017 at 4:53pm

It is Christmas Eve. Here is hoping that everyone here can find some peace and some semblance of joy this holiday season.

Comment by Chicago Beard on December 24, 2017 at 12:24pm

Mary Jane

Well said!

Comment by Mary. Jane on December 24, 2017 at 10:43am

Ok, kids..this is bout Facebook. My apologies to the wonderful administrators here...but I thought about Facebook a lot yesterday...and it occurred to me wht was really wrong with Bereaved folks going there.

At first, I wanted to post THIS website, and hopefully lead the members over here..but then it occurred to me..if I did that, I would draw attention to myself...here we are pretty anonymous. Sure, we have vague ideas where we all reside...and we are able to personally connect with members if we choose to do so..but if I am pouring my heart out on FB,ANYONE reading it, can see my picture, and tho my site is “locked” they can still know what town I grew up in, what schools I went to, what city I live in, who my friends are...this is stuff YOU GUYS don,t even know!

in this day and age, there are very bad people out there, and in our vulnerable states, it would be very easy for anyone to try to friend us...saying they went to school with us, etc, or they have a friend in common with us...or they belong to groups that we do..Some people here live alone and could be very vulnerable to theives, or worse...all from crap that is exposed on FB. Yes, I know there are steps I can probably take to hide all of that..but by someone pretending their own loved one has died...we are waaayyy to quick to open our hearts before our brains. 

Honestly, there could be a bad person HERE...and it would be very easy to gain our trust, but not as easy as FB with all the info we shared without thinking on our general page. 

I don,t know what criteria Legacy uses or if they ever turn anyone away...but the lack of privacy on FB is a huge issue.  When BOb died, I called everyone and told them to NOT even MENTION anything about his death on FB...and if they did, it was removed imeadiately. I DIDN,t even want it mentioned on my friends pages. 

It is a sad world when we have to fear strangers and even friends, but we do. We have to be vigilant in every aspect of our lives. So, I am removing myself from the FB Legacy page.  Sorry Legacy..I know you meant well, but it is just too invasive there. 

This is perfect...and I thank you for this place we can all come to where I can pour my heart out, and y’all understand.

Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2017 at 5:33am

Dear David ...  I cried through it too.  That dog was so patient and loving and knew that child was different from other children.  The point is for all of us.  No matter how terrible we may feel within ourselves and the gut-wrenching grief our spouses would want us to carry the torch for them and we 'pay it forward.'  This simply means when someone is hurting so bad like some on here and others we know in our lives we are patient as that dog and we keep silent, but with touch and love in our eyes we can get through to others and let them know we understand.  

Your friend

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2017 at 5:28am

Mary Jane ...  I completely agree with you and if anyone doubts this please read this link:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_Facebook

We are all talking about our deep and most secret emotions and it's not for others to read or use in any context of what they may do with this information.  There are no copy-write laws on Facebook.  Little Privacy.

Marsha 

Comment by Sara Murphy on December 23, 2017 at 9:49pm

Patti.....thinking of you and hoping you found today somewhat tolerable.  These anniversary dates hold such power over us.  For me, I hurt everyday and cry for Ken everyday but anniversary dates just add to it because it marks the passage of time.  I'll say an extra prayer for you tonight.

Comment by David Heggi on December 23, 2017 at 6:20pm

Bless you, Christine,

Life does not give us a hall pass, does it.

We still gotta take care of business: pay bills, keep Dr appointments - get the car fixed.

I walked and cried, cried and walked; I didn't want anyone to see my grief.

I wish I could drink brown liquor and not be sorry.  I will take another alprazolam instead.  And

I will pray that we will all get through this.

Hugs,

David H

 

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