Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

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Comment by Carol Kayser on July 21, 2014 at 12:01am
DesertDove, thanks for the info! Funny as I had a dear friend, a pastor, who talked to me about C.S. Lewis and his book on grief. Must research more for sure. He sounds so great as a person, that's quite something about his friend's mom too!

Comment by Carol Kayser on July 20, 2014 at 11:58pm
Theresa, Anthony Hopkins plays C.S. Lewis and Debra Winger his love. I believe the movie was made in 1985. It is on Desert Dove's recommendation, and I need to watch it.
Comment by Theresa Wimann on July 20, 2014 at 4:09pm
Who was in shadowlands Carol?
Comment by Theresa Wimann on July 20, 2014 at 4:08pm
Felt out of sorts since I took a fall and went for a massage on Friday. Worked part of Saturday then took a sauna and a hot bath to get out the rest of the pain. Woke up today feeling much better. Have been just doing small things around the house today but it is the little questions that get to me. What is the difference between a weed killer and roundup? How do you edge an area? How long should I keep my dogs out of a sprayed area? I get so frustrated that I don't have all the answers and have to ask. Maybe that is something I'm meant to to ask for help. I've never been good at it. Too independent. Too...proud? Too capable? I don't know. It just takes so much longer....oh, I'm back to self-impatience, another of my flaws...
Comment by DesertDove on July 17, 2014 at 3:58pm

  Carol....  Hi   I'm doing ok  thx for asking  but I know what you mean getting tired  especially with granddaughter, but how nice.   Nice you & Marsha live near each other!  It's been hot here too!   Yes,  I think you will like the movie & the book   I sure did   for everyone who didn't read   the movie is called  "The Shadowlands" w/anthony hopkins  famous professor in England  Oxford & Cambridge   he also wrote many children's books   even though he never had children!!  of course he was one himself!!  LOL!!!  I just admire him so much.. he passed away around 1960  & still has such influence!  Google his name   that's where I learned alot about him   he & his brother were roomates  & he also took care of his buddy's mom  after the War  (his buddy got killed) & he promised him   he would take care of his mother

his buddy's mom actually lived with him in a huge house   hows that for taking good care of her??  

Comment by Marsha H on July 17, 2014 at 3:53am

Theresa ..  all counseling is free from me.  Now if I could only take my own advice I could be doing better, but trying hard to center myself like we are all doing.  I find I'm either nil of energy or suddenly I race around like a demented elf here and there and I am practicing slowing down yet getting done what I have to do.  I don't like feeling dependent on others either and I think all of us feel that way.  I find I am getting more independent all time and so will you.  I'm proud of you for keeping as busy as you are doing.  Keep a journal every day and you'll begin to realize just how much you are doing during your time of grieving and it will shock you.



Comment by Marsha H on July 17, 2014 at 3:48am

Theresa .. I am so sorry you fell and that's something all of us have to watch.  I'm in the same situation you are because if I hurt myself there is one to look after me either.  Not a nice feeling. 

It's normal to have bursts of energy and then we find ourselves racing around doing far too much.  Please try to pace yourself and don't take on too much at one time.  Look after YOU!



Comment by Marsha H on July 17, 2014 at 3:41am

Carol ...  It's been a lot hotter where you live, but even where I am it's so hot I've been 'flashing' the on-coming traffic just to catch a breeze and it's one ugly scene!  Look for me on Global News!  LOL  Suppose to be cooling down by tomorrow so here is hoping ..  me widdle bawd can't take much more of this.  LOL

Hope all is well with you.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Carol Kayser on July 17, 2014 at 2:00am
Dear Theresa, sorry you are unable to get off the roller coaster. I understand it is good to give back and it benefits us all but pacing yourself is important. At least try warm baths, music and good sleep:)
Hang in there
Comment by Barbara Sullivan on July 17, 2014 at 12:55am

Thank you Carol, for your input.  I have been feeling very emotional, lately, and have decided that this is not the best frame of mind or spirit for making serious decisions.  There is no hurry about making a choice.  I will keep your suggestion in mind.

Thanks too, for your good wishes.  




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