Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21.
Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24.
Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22.
Dear Diane ...
I am so sorry you are having to go through all this, but it's no uncommon. It has been 3 1/2 years since my Ernie passed and it feels the years have gone by so quickly, yet in one respect slow for me and taken it's toll. It does get a little better. I know with your dad having cancer and knowing you have no control over the situation is very difficult for you and it floods back the memories of looking back at what you went through with Rich. Know that your dad is not in pain and having been through a dear friend who was in a coma for 6 months (15 years ago) they do hear what we say, so keep talking to your dad and telling him what is in your heart. I am so happy he was able to speak to you. Doctors say hearing is the last to go. I know hon this is yet another battle for you and not an easy journey when you will be losing yet another loved one. Blast this cancer! Of course it is going to take it's toll on you as every emotion you have is in high gear and 'letting go' is not easy. You know that you have special prayers from me for you dad, you and your family!
I know this is no consolation for you, but I have friend with terminal cancer in hospital (came as a shock) and it took every fiber of my body to go up to the same hospital to visit her because that is where Ernie spend some of time when ill. Some how a greater power (God to many of us) is giving us the strength we need and you know we're here to hold you up.
Never forget your dad (if he slips in and out of a coma) knows you are there and can hear what you say so pour your heart out and know he loves you a great deal. My only peace in myself losing a loved one is that they are 'going home' and sadly, we are left behind for now.
Here is a big hug from me and lean on us.
Hi to all my friends,
I just wanted to give a quick update and hopefully I will be back on-line in the near future. I celebrated Rich's 2 year anniversary on 8-1-14. Hard to believe it has been 2 years already. I have been through a lot in this time, but it still feels like only a short time ago that I had to say good-bye. My Dad's cancer won the battle. He is now in a coma with only a short time to live. This has been such a hard fight for me. Going through this whole thing again in such a short time. I know others have gone through it too, but it seems to be taking it's toll on me. I visited him on Monday and I really didn't think he knew I was there. But when I got ready to leave, I kissed him and said I am leaving now Dad, I Love You.... And he straightened his head a little and said, OK, honey, I Love You!! So knowing that he knew I was there, and could communicate that through the thick fog like state that he was in, has given me a wonderful memory to hang on to. I know his hours are limited now, so I am asking for you to keep my Dad and my family in your thoughts and prayers.
Love to all....
Karen ... You are doing the right thing just getting a realtor to tell you what your house is worth on the market today and remember there is no rush to sell and take your time.
I live in 980 sq. ft. rancher that my husband Ernie and I fixed up as the other owners had let it go. Like you and Ed we had so many good memories and entertained a lot and it doesn't feel the same without him, but, everyone is different and I feel close to him being here and I have good neighbors and friends who live close by. I am retired, no children and 2 dogs and for me, I would go absolutely crazy in a condo or townhouse.
Please check out the Strata Fees for some of these condos as many can be high and they hike it up every year and here where I live (just outside of Vancouver, B.C.) because the Strata Fees are so high many are trying to flog off their condos and not being very successful.
Depending on your finances and if you still have a mortgage a suggestion only from me is you talk to the banking institution and see if you can find a smaller home on less property being sold for repossession of back taxes or has a small mortgage on it and easier for you to maintain. Just another thought for you.
You know what is best for you and you're doing everything right and getting the realtor to price out your house and property. I truly wish you luck.
Dear Karen, I am in the process of making that decision too and I know on any given day I may feel entirely different about what to do. Chris and I built our house together, and over the years made it a home, a place where family gathered on holidays, where he worked in his workshop and I in my sewing room, meeting for a cup of tea and a chat in the afternoon -- I miss it all so much, and I wonder if I have the energy to put it all behind me and construct a different life. Please keep posting as you go through this decision process -- I know it will help me to think through my own decision.
Thank you for your help.
Thanks, Carol Kayser and Georgia. Trying not to expect too much. For now it is just good to spend time with someone and have fun. As, I am sure you understand, it gets lonely at times.
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