Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Chicago Beard on January 11, 2015 at 3:36pm


So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I know of one other person who has that. That person's whole professional identity was around his speaking publicly. I wish you nothing but the best and hope somebody comes up with a treatment for it in the near future.

Comment by Marsha H on January 11, 2015 at 3:32pm

Dear Carol ...  That was a great article and thank you for that.  It puts our grief into perspective.  There is no right/wrong way to grieve.  I read that article at a good time because the grief counseling group I go to (held in a Christian church) is more into Christianity (shoving it down your throat) than dealing with a grieving person.  For myself I am ahead in my grief than the other members, but one of the other so-called counselors (no diploma to back them as a counselor) has phoned at least one person to tell them not to come back to grief counseling because they have suggested there is too much Christianity brought into the sessions rather than treating grief and this person won't be the only one that will be told not to come back and they wonder why there is such a low attendance at churches.  I have no idea what happened to true Christianity.  I am a Christian yet can't find a church in my area that is friendly and helpful to others.  So sad. 



Comment by Marsha H on January 11, 2015 at 3:23pm

Dear Wilela ...  I am so sorry about your diagnosis, but it's just a guess on your doctor's part and the results are not in yet so I'll pray it isn't so.  Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do worry about you.



Comment by Carol Kayser on January 11, 2015 at 1:50pm
Dear Wilela, so very sorry to hear of your diagnosis. Just please know you are being held in my prayers. We all care and hold you in a special place here.

I'm sure the doctor will do everything she can to make sure you receive the best care. It sounds similar to Bell's Palsy which I think is a lesser illness, so I am hoping for you the tests may not come back with the other diagnosis. Fingers crossed for you.
As Kathy is asking I hope you have the love and support of your family.

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on January 11, 2015 at 1:24pm

Wilela -- I am so sorry to learn about your diagnosis.  There are just not adequate words to tell you how sorry I am.  You are in my prayers.


Comment by Kathy Parker on January 11, 2015 at 1:15pm
Oh Wilela! I am so sorry to learn of your devastating diagnosis. How are you managing to cope after hearing such terrible news? Do you have people close by to help and comfort you? Please come to this site to talk it out, I have found very caring people here.
Comment by Chicago Beard on January 11, 2015 at 10:34am

I too have had my colon out. I put off the operation because my Rose was so ill and I am glad I did. She could not have handled the care I needed and I would not have been there for her. The lady I am currently in a relationship with has been wonderful helping me recover.

Comment by Chicago Beard on January 11, 2015 at 10:30am

Carol I just read that piece on Getting Grief Right. You are so right, it is an amazing article. Even though it does not address loss of a spouse it still hits home. I highly recommend it.

Comment by Jane P. on January 11, 2015 at 9:17am

Wilela,  I was thinking of you how did you make out with your speech tests?  Hope you are doing well.  Hugs, Jane P.

Comment by Carol Kayser on January 11, 2015 at 1:30am

I have just read perhaps the best article on grieving I have come across.  It was a post from New York Times called 'Getting Grief Right".  I read it on my Facebook page.  As I am not friends with anyone here on Facebook, (though if anyone wants to let me know), I am sharing the information and I think the benefit from reading it would be immense, especially those with new losses.

Here it is:  Author;  Patrick O'Malley, psychotherapist.  Essay is from "Couch" a series about psychotherapy.  Go to:



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