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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Latest Conversations: on Sunday

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Carol Kayser on August 14, 2014 at 11:54pm

Dear Diane.  My sympathies on the loss of your father.  It was a lovely tribute your father received from his community.  It must really stay with you how much he was admired and cared for and not forgotten.  It will provide a very lovely memory for you to keep.  Your dad is at peace now and you can take some comfort in that too.

My own father-in-law was also a Fire Chief in a small California town for 20 years.  They are a tight knit community so I am not surprised at the outpouring your dad received.

Take care Diane, we are thinking of you,

Hugs,

Carol

xo

Comment by Theresa Wimann on August 14, 2014 at 11:16pm
Diane, I see that your father passed away. I am so sorry. Losing my father was tough. Fathers are so special and watching my father deteriorate with Parkinson's was so difficult. I hated to see him suffer but I didn't want him to go either. But, the last morning I went in and just sat with him and told him he could go. That we would make sure mom was well cared for. I left to get a glass of water and he passed. I'm so glad you got to be acknowledged by him. It makes the departure less painful. I wish peace for you.
Comment by Theresa Wimann on August 14, 2014 at 11:08pm
Hi all, it seems like yesterday I was on here but it has been a while. I've been helping to get a farm market started along with my regular programs at work and then Bruce's stone came in. It is beautiful but seems so final. It was so stark that I had to take flowers out and plant them. Now I'm back in depression mode. I keep waking up in tears. It makes me so tired because I know I still have so much to do. I just keep reminding myself that Bruce would want me to keep going. It is tempting to crawl into bed and just stay there.
Comment by Barbara Sullivan on August 14, 2014 at 9:51pm

Diane, you are in my prayers.  May  your father rest in peace, now, and may your family be comforted in knowing that he no longer suffers.  Also, thank you for sharing  about the honors that were bestowed on your father.  It is good to know that his lifetime of service was marked in very special ways, by the town he served.

Prayers and hugs

Barbara

Comment by janeo on August 14, 2014 at 8:42pm
So sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family.
Comment by stacey on August 14, 2014 at 5:23pm

Diane

So sorry for your loss. I will still keep you and your family in my prayers.

 Big Hugs,

Stacey

Comment by Chicago Beard on August 14, 2014 at 3:16pm

Diane

My deepest condolences on your loss.

Comment by Diane C on August 14, 2014 at 3:07pm

It is with GREAT regret that I have to tell you all that my Dad lost his battle with cancer and passed away last Saturday, August 9th. He had a very rough passing, but he is now at peace and out of pain and agony. His calling hours were Tuesday and then we buried him yesterday. He was a fire chief for 30+ years in a small town, and they sent him out in blaze of glory. All the comments and condolences were absolutely beautiful. They had the fire truck at the funeral home for the visitation and then it and a local sheriffs car headed the procession to the church and then on to the cemetery. They had a special Fireman's service for him and "The tolling of the bells". It was absolutely beautiful. My Dad lived in that town all his life, and the people there showed their love for him. If I can only have half of his qualities, I would be happy with that. He was also a very religious man, and the mass of Christian burial for him was beautiful too.

It will be so hard for me to have lost the 2 most important men in my life, and they loved each other. My Dad died 2 years, one week and one day after Rich. This has left a huge hole in my chest and brought back all the sadness and grieving for Rich. I really needed his support during all this and it was hard doing it alone. But I made it. I went to the cemetery today and took 2 roses from my Dad's flowers and took them to Rich's grave and put them on his headstone. Not sure when I will stop crying, but I know from experience.... that it will get easier.

Special thanks to Frank, Marcy, Stacey, Barbara, Janeo, Carol and Jane P for your kind words and prayers. Loved the story you also told Carol. Your kindness means so much to me. Thank you for all the hugs too. I needed each and every one of them.

Love and Hugs back to you all!!!!

Diane

Comment by Carol Kayser on August 9, 2014 at 2:09pm

When thinking of Diane's father's words to her, it brings to mind these surprise statements that seem to come from no where when our loved ones are seemingly unable to express thoughts.  One of our best friend's husband recently passed away and I was visiting with her and she said that twice while her husband was dying he sat up in bed and said to one of his brother in law's "you need to paint dad's kitchen"! then he laid back down.  This didn't come really out of the blue since he always helped his father in law and would have painted the kitchen himself if he were able to.

The next one was that one of his sons bought him a nice velor robe because it was cold in the room and when they had wheeled him into the lounge he suddenly said "you paid too much for this robe"! then silence again.  So they are cognizant and imagine the work going on for them to express themselves, but they felt it was important to say. 

My mom, who was deep into her Alzheimer`s had not seen my husband for months because he was away in hospital and rehab, and finally when he came to see her, bearing in mind she didn`t remember much of anything any longer, turned to him and said out of the blue `Hello Jack``!  Wow, we were blown away.

For my own experience, my darling said out of the blue while passing away `there is nothing but love here`` which has helped to sustain us since he left.

So my belief is that God works in his ways of giving us the sense of hope and connectivity and that our loved ones will always love us, no matter where they are:)

 

Hugs,

Carol

Comment by Carol Kayser on August 9, 2014 at 2:00pm

Dear Diane, I tried to write yesterday as I was thinking of you however there must be a glitch with using the phone to reply because it is not there:(

I wanted to send hugs to you and your family and to say that I think that it was truly wonderful that you were able to receive those words of love from your dad, especially when you weren't expecting to hear anything, I truly believe that is a gift from God for you to hold dearly to your heart.

Prayers to you Diane,

Hugs,

Carol

 

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