Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1370
Latest Conversations: 59 minutes ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele 12 hours ago. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on July 15, 2014 at 1:53am

Dear Barbara ..  I do know how you feel.  My small rancher isn't the issue, but the upkeep of the gardens and things that have to repairs and it's a daunting task; yours made worse by being a larger home.  Here is my suggestion for what it is worth:

Chris and you had decided to move so you know he'd be happy with whatever you decide.  Perhaps one of your daughters could live in the house you're in now and hopefully one of your daughters in the town you were going to move too has the space to  put you up for 4 - 6 months and give yourself a chance to figure out if living in a larger city is what you want.  Hope this is of some help to you.



Comment by Marsha H on July 15, 2014 at 1:41am

Deb ...  It is wonderful to see you post again and that you are doing fairly well.  I miss you and hope things are improving for you. 



Comment by Marsha H on July 15, 2014 at 1:38am

Georgia ...  I am so sorry you are going through so much heartache and it seems most of us do when special dates comes up.  It has been over 3 1/2 years since my beloved husband passed at 65 (I was 4 years older than him) and I still miss him a great deal and find myself still talking to him out loud in the privacy of my home or car.  I knew him 45 years and we just missed our 40th anniversary. You are still fresh into your grief and nothing seems real to you and that's very normal.  It doesn't matter if you work or how busy any of us keep ourselves busy we still have our private times of remembering those wonderful memories with our loving spouses during the night. 

I honestly believe they are right beside us giving us strength to go on.  Birth, life and eventually death is so articulately planned that there has to be more after death.  I too wait until I can once again join my husband, but, until that time I am trying hard to go on in his memory with all the good things he taught me.

Lean on us hon as we have all been where you are and just put your heartfelt feelings in your posts and we'll be there to wrap our arms around you.  You are not alone!  We'll help you get through this and you are stronger than you think.



Comment by Barbara Sullivan on July 15, 2014 at 1:35am

I am trying to decide whether to stay in my home or sell it and move back to the city.  Chris has been gone for a year and 3 months -- and I feel that part of my life is over -- yet it will be so hard to leave the home we built together.  We have been in this house for 14 years and before he got sick we talked about moving back to the city together to be closer to the things we loved to do.  I have two daughters that live here, and two daughters who live in the city, so I am torn about leaving, but miss my girls who live in the city too.  The girls tell me, "Mom, we just want you to be happy."  But, there is no real happiness without my Chris -- and I rattle around in this big house, in this small town -- and I feel like I am just waiting to die.  Yet, I am afraid that if I move I will regret it.  I am 66 years old.  Is it too late to start over again, alone?  In my younger years I would not be so hesitant -- but, now, I just don't know.  It's a big life decision and I will not make it lightly.  Any advice, or shared experience would be welcome.


Comment by georgia on July 15, 2014 at 12:10am
To all, thank you for all your kind words.
I do work full time.
It does not help when I don't have him to talk to , or argue or disagree with . I miss it all not just the good but the bad also.
Thank you all.
Comment by janeo on July 14, 2014 at 11:44pm

I wish there was something to ease your pain. There are no words. It's been 41/2 years for me Richie made it to 1:07 on his birthday. The pain and shock of losing your world. It does get better, tears come further as apart. After all the stages of grief which is at your timeline . It's still hurts like crazy. What helped me was Richie always had to be working on something the house , cars, always went food shopping he had to something. When they took out his colon he would of had to wear bags all day long and he wouldn'tbe able too do what he loved. Everyone here (angels) will help too get through the process. Baby step s. I believe most of the he's with my son and me in some way or another. Keeping you in my prayers.
Comment by Deb on July 14, 2014 at 11:22pm

Georgia, My heart goes out to you on this first anniversary. It was 6 months ago to the day that I kissed my dear one for the last time. Seems the longer it is the more difficulr it becomes--I miss him so terribly. The spirit of his love will always be with me in my heart and as in life, he is still my guide. I hope you are able to find peace knowing he's with you in your heart, too. 



Comment by Carol Kayser on July 14, 2014 at 10:26pm
Georgia, nothing harder than the anniversaries:( My 4th is coming up and as someone said to me yesterday "I'm sure it feels like yesterday". It does. Every single thing I do I wish with all my breath he was here with me. As Wilela says I too believe he surrounds me so take strength that the spirit of his love is with you.

My husband was 2 weeks shy of his 58th birthday too.

Comment by georgia on July 14, 2014 at 9:02pm
Wilela, thank God someone understands how I feel,
Last night I watched movies that he loved till morning and cried all night.I am only 54 he 58, and all I think about is what the hell am I going to do with out him..? Till I see him again..
Comment by georgia on July 14, 2014 at 8:20pm
Today is one year since my husband passed away.
I am so out of myself , I don't even recognize me anymore .
I miss him so much..

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