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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 14 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by janeo on August 31, 2014 at 6:58pm
Carol,

You been a great friend and good advice. I wish there was something I can say or do for you.
your in my prayers.
Comment by Judy D Gamble on August 31, 2014 at 4:11pm

It has been almost 15 months since I lost my dear husband, John, and every since the 1 year anniversary, it seems I'm struggling even more.  From the outside, people, and my therapist, think I'm doing great...I'm keeping busy, have lots of friends, am involved in many activities and volunteer at church.  I have one son who lives within 70 miles so I see him and his wife about twice a month.  The rest of my family does not live in the same state.  Yeah, everyone thinks I'm doing just fine but they don't know how much I cry when I'm alone.  I miss my John so much - the love of my life and best friend for 54 years.  I try to think of the good memories and not dwell on his last months fighting cancer but even the good memories make me cry because he's not here to make new memories and share in memories of all our years together.  The changing of the seasons gets me down because he really loved the area where we retired to where we have seasons ...so different from So Calif.  He even liked winter.  He was the only one in the world that really knew me inside out and was always there for me, no matter what.  Life without him doesn't seem to be real.  I just seem to try and fill my days to get through until the next one.  I pray every day for God to help me and I am looking forward to the day when we are together again.

Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2014 at 3:47pm

Wilela ...  I don't generally say much about the special dates I go through.  On our wedding anniversary Aug. 12th I bought the usual greeting card for Ernie and I'll ever break that tradition.  I always wish him a happy birthday.  Although I get teary-eyed as the years roll by (going on 4 years for me now) it does get a little easier. 

I know you are thinking of me and I appreciate it my friend.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2014 at 3:44pm

Dear Diane ... We all know how you are feeling and many of us have had too much death too close together which seems to be an anchor weighing us down.  Never forget that Rich and your father are together, right beside you and will be there with double the strength.  Thankfully with all the angels on this site we pick each other up when one is down and trying to get back up to keep going forward.  Lean on us! 

I feel badly for your step-mother and the best thing both of you can do is just hug each other, cry together and words are not important at this time.  I have learned to cry when I need too to get all the bottled feelings I use to hang onto and it helps. 

It is such a good idea to go to a bereavement counselor for a few months to gain more strength.  My grief group stopped during the summer months (the worst of times for me as so many couples are active during those months), but they start up the 2nd week of September and I'm going back!  They have suggest I counsel a group because unfortunately there are more members.  I hope the offer is still up, but there are times I feel like leaning on someone myself.

You're going to fine hon and Rich and your father are right there for you.  Believe!

Love & Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2014 at 3:20pm

Dear Carol ...  There are no comforting words I can give you other than I do believe one day we will join them once again.  I know how you feel as our wedding anniversary was Aug. 12th and Ernie's birthday Aug. 30th. 

I so miss Ernie's warm smile, his touch and would give all I have to have him back, but we know that's impossible.  What they did leave us is their wisdom, strength and fond memories and I also believe when we are at our lowest they are there by our side giving us encouragement and the strength we need to go forward in our lives.  We are all different as we know and grieving takes time where we once again can just hold onto the good memories and not mourn so deeply.  My prayers are you my friend.

Love & Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Karen W on August 31, 2014 at 2:43pm

Carol, I don't know what to say that might comfort you today except that I'm sending up prayers for your peace of mind and strength to meet each day.  <hugs> 

Karen

Comment by Carol Kayser on August 31, 2014 at 2:34pm

Dear Diane, oh I remember when my own dad died and I have those same feelings you describe.  I could always lean on my father's shoulders and ask for advice and any time I needed anything he was always there.  That is a very hard loss to endure.  It truly is the end of the road, if I can say that, in terms of who do we turn to after they are gone.  I'd give anything to hear my dad's voice and calm words once again.

 

Hugs,

Carol

Comment by Carol Kayser on August 31, 2014 at 2:32pm

Thank you Wilela and Barbara for your supportive words and hugs, so very appreciated.  There is nothing to do but love, honor, and treasure the memories of the love.  Safely tucked away in my heart is where he will rest.

It's one day at a time isn't it.....sending love to you both.

 

Hugs,

Carol

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on August 31, 2014 at 6:28am

Carol, anniversaries of the passing of our loved ones are so very hard, but you are strong -- you have made it through 4 years,  For me it has only been a year and a half.  The calendar that hangs above my desk is still showing the date and year that I lost my Chris -- I do not change the calendar because I have not yet learned how I will face the future.  You, and others, like you, who are farther along in the grieving process, give me hope.  Thank you, for that.

Sending you love, hugs and prayers,

Barbara 

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on August 31, 2014 at 6:19am

Diane C you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.  Sometimes we think we cannot take one more blow -- and yet, when those blows come, somehow, there we are -- still standing,-- shaken but still strong.  Yes, by all means, call your bereavement counselor.  This is not a sign of failing, but a sign of strength.  Calling for help, when we need it, is the way of wisdom.  

I am sending you love and prayers for comfort, along with many --

Hugs,

Barbara

 

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