Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


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Comment by Chicago Beard on August 15, 2014 at 1:30pm
Comment by Marsha H on August 15, 2014 at 1:49am

I had this music for my Ernie's Celebration of Life ...

This is in honor of Diane's father, husband and all our spouses.

I'm crying, so should you, it cleanses the spirit and keeps us strong.

With much love


Comment by Marsha H on August 15, 2014 at 1:40am

Theresa ...  I am happy you have the stone for Bruce and it is a finality, but remember, only their body is there and his spirit lives within you.  The flowers sound so lovely and I'm sure Bruce knows they are there.  Today I just sold Ernie's boat which was so dear to him and I felt like throwing myself on the bow of the boat.  One part of me didn't want to let it go, yet I had no choice and it felt like I was giving bits and pieces of Ernie's memory away little by little, but then I slapped myself silly and reminded myself it was just a material item and he is 'home' now where he is without pain and at peace. I often envy that.  They left imprints on our lives and their strength and wisdom and for that very reason this is what keeps us going.  Know that we are all here to pick up one another when we fall.

Big hugs


Comment by Marsha H on August 15, 2014 at 1:34am

Diane ...  I am so very sorry your father passed away.  My father passed away in 1973 at the age of 61 and I know how you feel because we never feel our parents will ever pass on.  The service you described was fitting for a wonderful man like your father and I have no doubt he was looking down on family and friends with a big smile ...  it's called, 'going home.'  He is with your Rich now and I truly believe that both of them are watching over you.  I know it isn't easy for you to lose the two most beloved, strongest men in your life, but they are not gone from you life hon.  They are in your heart and by you giving you strength.  Cry until you can't cry anymore. I try to think of my father and Ernie as having done a glorious job on earth and they were 'called home.'  One day we will join them all again and until that time the imprints they made on our lives we'll carry proudly and move forward in our lives with much more wisdom and empathy towards ourselves and others.

I am sending you huge hugs and prayers my friend


Comment by Carol Kayser on August 14, 2014 at 11:54pm

Dear Diane.  My sympathies on the loss of your father.  It was a lovely tribute your father received from his community.  It must really stay with you how much he was admired and cared for and not forgotten.  It will provide a very lovely memory for you to keep.  Your dad is at peace now and you can take some comfort in that too.

My own father-in-law was also a Fire Chief in a small California town for 20 years.  They are a tight knit community so I am not surprised at the outpouring your dad received.

Take care Diane, we are thinking of you,




Comment by Theresa Wimann on August 14, 2014 at 11:16pm
Diane, I see that your father passed away. I am so sorry. Losing my father was tough. Fathers are so special and watching my father deteriorate with Parkinson's was so difficult. I hated to see him suffer but I didn't want him to go either. But, the last morning I went in and just sat with him and told him he could go. That we would make sure mom was well cared for. I left to get a glass of water and he passed. I'm so glad you got to be acknowledged by him. It makes the departure less painful. I wish peace for you.
Comment by Theresa Wimann on August 14, 2014 at 11:08pm
Hi all, it seems like yesterday I was on here but it has been a while. I've been helping to get a farm market started along with my regular programs at work and then Bruce's stone came in. It is beautiful but seems so final. It was so stark that I had to take flowers out and plant them. Now I'm back in depression mode. I keep waking up in tears. It makes me so tired because I know I still have so much to do. I just keep reminding myself that Bruce would want me to keep going. It is tempting to crawl into bed and just stay there.
Comment by Barbara Sullivan on August 14, 2014 at 9:51pm

Diane, you are in my prayers.  May  your father rest in peace, now, and may your family be comforted in knowing that he no longer suffers.  Also, thank you for sharing  about the honors that were bestowed on your father.  It is good to know that his lifetime of service was marked in very special ways, by the town he served.

Prayers and hugs


Comment by janeo on August 14, 2014 at 8:42pm
So sorry for your loss. Prayers to you and your family.
Comment by stacey on August 14, 2014 at 5:23pm


So sorry for your loss. I will still keep you and your family in my prayers.

 Big Hugs,



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