Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

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Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Theresa Wimann on July 16, 2014 at 10:34pm
Dear Carol, I thought I was handling things well. I thought I needed to start living again and I have so much energy that I cannot stop. I am ADD and I truly believe that when we help others we help ourselves. Unfortunately I think I overdid it. I made commitments that in other years I wouldn't think twice about and now I don't know how to slow it down. Time off isn't an option right now.
Comment by Carol Kayser on July 16, 2014 at 10:23pm

Marsha, you are on my radar screen LOL....xoxoxoxo

Comment by Carol Kayser on July 16, 2014 at 10:22pm

Dear Barbara, I was thinking about your dilemma with regard to moving.  That is pretty difficult to think about I am sure.  It's interesting that you have 2 daughters in each place.  I do support the suggestions from Marsha and Jane P.  Perhaps renting out the house on a short term lease and trying out the city?  Sometimes we have thoughts built up about where we once lived or would like to go back to, the challenge is that the world around us changes and perhaps it isn't the same as we once thought.  It is best to try these things out slowly.

I wish you wisdom and good luck in moving forward.



Comment by Carol Kayser on July 16, 2014 at 10:18pm

Hi Janeo, how's it going?  Thinking of you!




Comment by Carol Kayser on July 16, 2014 at 10:17pm

Dear DesertDove, how are you?  I've  been spending so much time with my little granddaughter I do run out of writing opportunities and I admit I get pretty tired too!

When I have time I will be watching the movie you recommended and the book too. 

It's been so hot here   In the 90s and just not used to it (eh Marsha)!! (We live pretty close to each other)!  I keep saying we are living in Death Valley as where I live it is called the Fraser Valley! 

Anyway, I sure hope you are doing ok!



Comment by Carol Kayser on July 16, 2014 at 10:13pm

Jane P.  thank you, those words are beautiful and truthful and I appreciate reading them.



Comment by Carol Kayser on July 16, 2014 at 10:10pm

Dear Theresa, I;m sorry you fell and hurt your knee, I know that kind of thing can be scary and naturally it just triggers the feelings of being afraid, alone and sad:(  I am glad it wasn't so much worse for you. 

I have a good friend who lost her husband in March.  One of her chief things she said was she is so busy, that there is so much to do.  I asked her if she was making extra work for herself so she wouldn't have to be alone with her thoughts, because sitting alone and thinking is darnright scary and overwhelming for us.  It's a good thing to be busy, we all need to be productive and feel like we are contributing but I do believe there is a limit, which we should impose on ourselves.  We do need to take care of us during grieving and it sounds like you have placed so much pressure on yourself Theresa.  Did you ever go on that vacation/retreat you spoke about?  I think you need a few days just to relax and recoup.

Just my thoughts -  I will let Marsha weigh in when she can:)



Comment by Theresa Wimann on July 16, 2014 at 9:40pm
I hate this. I hate feeling helpless.
Comment by Theresa Wimann on July 16, 2014 at 8:25pm
Counsel me Marsha. You seem to do so well.
Comment by Theresa Wimann on July 16, 2014 at 8:23pm
I'm back. I thought that all the frenetic activity of summer was just what I needed to use some of this pent up energy. I come from a family whose idea of fun is...big surprise: work. So I've been working with the summer lunch program and visiting my mom and getting house stuff and back log work stuff done and setting up a farm market. Today I fell on my butt. Really, I did. I tried to do too much and my knee gave out and I landed on my posterior and I cried the whole way home because if I injure myself, there is no one to take care of me. On top of it, I used up all my sick leave time taking care of Bruce so there is no time for injuries or to be sick. So, what do I do? Fortunately I just wound up with cuts, scrapes and black and blue patches along with a little inflammation where I don't have a disk. I'm just totally freaked.

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