Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

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Comment by Carol Kayser on December 24, 2014 at 7:28pm
Dear all. Here we are at yet another holiday season. It's been over 4 years now for me and these occasions do get somewhat easier though there is always a hole in one's heart.

I have a friend who just lost her husband 6 months ago. She is really struggling with the same issues. 2 grand babies who her husband met one for 6 months only. Christmas time is when we feel the loss so much but there are ways to include our loved ones, sharing stories, laughs, memories. They would love that, to be remembered.

I wish everyone a peaceful holiday season.

Love & Hugs,
Comment by janeo on December 24, 2014 at 7:24pm
Jan, I couldn't of said it better. Marsha's words were so true. My prayers are with you as always.
Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:29pm

To all ...  I know Christmas is so emotional at the best of times, but for those on this forum it is made even more emotional without our spouses.  I wish you all the peace and strength to find peace at Christmas, relax and take one baby step at a time.  The thought that so many of us are going through the same thing during this holiday season is of some comfort that we are not alone.

Here is wishing you a miracle for each of you during this holiday season. I am going to a Candlelight Service this evening to find some peace and make sense of my emotions.



Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:26pm

Renae ...  I know it's difficult to go through your birthday without your sweetheart and I know the pain and just quietly let my b/d slip by unnoticed as I felt more comfortable.  I was asked out by girlfriends and went, but I sat there feeling lost and my b/d didn't seem to be any great celebration without Ernie beside me.  It does get better though.

I am so shocked to hear that your twin isn't speaking to you because twins generally are one in the same and generally know instinctively how the other feels.  I am hoping time will heal all wounds between you.

Take those baby steps and as far as your birthday and Christmas try to take those baby steps and do what you feel you need to do in memory of your spouse for he would want you to.  I am sure he is there is spirit.

Santa Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:22pm

Kristen ...  I know saying Happy Birthday has a dull ring to it without your beloved there.  It does get easier as the years go by.  Lean on us throughout Christmas and we will help you through it.  I do know how you feel because my beloved Ernie passed away in April 2011 and our 40th Wedding Anniversary would have been August 12th, then my 70th b/d in January 2012.  It was tough without a doubt. 

Remember to take those baby steps and again, lean on us because you are not alone.

Santa Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:17pm

Dear Frank ...  So well put.  I know for most of us on this forum that we will always miss our spouses during these special occasions and Christmas seems to be the worst to get through.  I am trying to go forward in Ernie's memory and bring joy where I can, but sometimes it's a hard task.  I wish you strength and any peace and joy you can get throughout this holiday season.

Santa hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:15pm

Dear Mark ...  It is so good to hear from you and this time of year is emotional even for those who have not lost their spouses, but for us we count the years that fly by.  I do hope you surround yourself with family and try to have some peace and joy.  One baby step at a time.

Santa Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:14pm

Dear Nate ...  This is my 4th Christmas without my beloved Ernie and for some reason this year is harder on me than the past 3.  It was almost 40 years of bliss for Ernie and I and who would have guessed we wouldn't have our spouses to go forward into our retirement years.  We can dice it or slice it over and over and never get the answer to why they had to pass away.  I try to move forward in Ernie's memory never letting family or friends ever forget him and try to go over pleasant and funny memories of him.

I wish you as Merry a Christmas as possible and hope you have some peace and joy.

Santa hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:10pm

Jan ...  I am so very sorry that your family doesn't understand the need for you to leave town for Christmas.  I suppose their way of thinking is that being with family is a healing process for you, but don't understand you are too raw into grief.  Please don't feel guilty and just do what you have to do.  Next year it will be a bit better for you.  Don't let anyone rush you through grief.



Comment by Marsha H on December 24, 2014 at 2:07pm

Dear Steve ...  Wishing you a very Merry Christmas to you and your family.  Thank you for all the blessings you have given us on this forum.

Santa Hug!



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