Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by janeo on December 9, 2014 at 7:39pm
Jane P. And Michelle thank you it was one hell of a day. So glad it's over.
Comment by Elvira Castellanos on December 8, 2014 at 8:08pm

Marsha, no need to apologize, Janeo & Michelle thank you for the congratulations on the birth of my grandson.

I previously posted a few days ago that it was going to be 9 months of my husband's passing but my mind is really not working to it's full potential, tomorrow it will be 10 months of Pablo's passing & today has been an extremely sad day, I feel those anti depressants are not doing their job, I can't wait for the Christmas season to be over & move forward to March, on January 7th, it would have been 60 years old & on February 9th it will be one year that my loved passed, December 20th, my mother's 4th anniversary in heaven & on Valentine's day, my dad's 2nd anniversary in heaven, you can all see why I now hate February so much, pray for me tomorrow, I will need it.

Thanks all for your support,


Comment by Michelle on December 8, 2014 at 6:59pm

Janeo, I hope that your day went well. I am thinking of you also.
Elvira, congratulations on the newborn! That is such a blessing for the families!

Renae, I understand the scrambled brain and weakness too :( I lost my husband about that same time that you lost yours. I am praying for you (if you do not mind) and I hope that we both find our ways back to our new normal :/
HUGS to all of you!!

I have been very depressed and sad since I attended a Christmas tree lighting and parade event, without my husband, over the weekend. My emotions are all over and I am no longer sleeping as well. I have fallen off of my "feel good" wagon but I will crawl back on to it eventually.

Comment by Jane P. on December 8, 2014 at 7:36am

Janeo, Will be thinking of you today stay strong. Hugs, Jane P.

Comment by janeo on December 8, 2014 at 7:14am
Today is Richie s birthday and 5 years in heaven. Took off work today and going to see him and tell him happy birthday and I love him.
Comment by Marsha H on December 7, 2014 at 11:30pm

Elvira ...  My sincere apologies.  I have not been having some good days and feel like my mind is foggy.  Listen to your son Elvira for I feel Pablo is right there smiling upon Andres.  I honestly believe in that. 

It's my honor to help anyone I can to ease their pain and what I say is honestly what I believe in.  God is merciful and I just know Pablo is there smiling down at Andres. Believe!



Comment by Elvira Castellanos on December 7, 2014 at 3:41pm

Marsha, thank you, as always so supportive & greatly appreciated, the baby is named after my son, he daddy not my husband Pablo, it really doesn't matter & what u mentioned about your girlfriend, my son already told me that Andresito kept looking to a specific spot past, him & followed his eyes as if he was looking at something & said it has happened twice already, I would love to believe that Pablo was the one there blessing his first grandchild, he was such an excellent & loving dad to his boys that I know he would have been such as loving with his grandchildren, he so much wanted to become a grandpa, too bad he passed without a least knowing he was going to be one.

Thanks again for your words of support.



Comment by Marsha H on December 7, 2014 at 2:40pm

Elvira ...  I love the wee one's name!  I am so happy the parents named the baby after your Andres.  We don't know what happens after death so we don't know if Andres is aware of the baby.  My girlfriend told me when her first grandson was born (when he was a month old) he was in his crib and kept looking over to the end of the crib where there was no one and giggling and wiggling around and putting his little arms out.  My girlfriend and her daughter looked at each other and said 'mom has come to see her first grandchild.'  So, keep that thought Elvira because anything is possible and there are just some things we don't understand.

Hon, I know exactly how you feel because I miss my Ernie so much and of course his parents and mine have also passed away only leaving me with a small immediate family (one brother and no other siblings) and unfortunately we couldn't have children. 

The first year all the special occasions are so difficult on those grieving a loved one, but it does get better as time passes.  I too have asked the question as to why my spouse (a good and loving man) had to pass away and we will never get an answer to that question, but I like to think their work is done on earth and God called them home.  The one bright spot is that one day we will join those that have passed before us. 

You don't need to apologize for feeling the way you do and it's normal so have your cries and get that stress out of your body and hold your little grandson tight to you.  He is a blessing sent from heaven.

I will be coming on the forum during the holiday season for those that are having a difficult time. 



Comment by Elvira Castellanos on December 7, 2014 at 12:10pm

Thank you all for the congratulations on he birth of my grandson, Jane thank you for sharing such a beautiful song, Marsha his name is the same as his dad, ANDRES, he is precious, very happy I get to hold him pretty often since both parents are totally overwhelmed with him crying all the time, but also missing the fact that Pablo would have been there with me every step of the way, that he would have loved to hold, hug & kiss him, why did it have to be this way & why is it that even though he has brought happiness into my life, I still can't stop crying every single day, in 2 days it will be 10 months of his passing & it still feels as if it was yesterday, can't wait for the holidays to be over, I can't fathom this time of year without him & also my parents, on the 20th it will also be 4 years my mom passed, such a hard season since then, now even worse, sorry everyone just feeling extreme sadness right now. Hugs to everyone.

Comment by Carol Kayser on December 6, 2014 at 1:10pm

Elvira, congratulations on the new arrival.  I know you will find this sweet and pure love and joy in your life with your new grandchild.

Jane P. thanks for posting the link to the new song Mom, by Garth Brooks, because it was sweet, and touching and beautiful and I cried!  Elvira and everyone else  who listens it is a gift for us.




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