Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

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Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Jane P. on December 6, 2014 at 4:06am

Elvira,  Congratulations on the new baby.  Here is a song from Garth Brooks just for you. ( I had to click on the black box several times to get the music playing.)

[LISTEN] [LYRICS] Garth Brooks' New Song 'MOM'

Comment by janeo on December 5, 2014 at 7:47pm


congratulation's on the great news.

Comment by Renae McKee on December 5, 2014 at 6:54pm

Marsha Thank you so very much for all the great advise and I appreciate all of you on here!! I will keep posting, I do see a counselor already for PTSD related to our home fire in 2009, he is always there for me! I see him again next week. Thank you again for being here for me!!

Comment by Marsha H on December 5, 2014 at 2:12pm

Elvira ... Congratulations on being a grandma!!!  Remember, that little grandchild is part of your husband as well and how lucky is that.  Please let us know the name chosen for the wee one. 

I know what you mean by the mixed emotions of joy and sadness, but please remember you are still in raw grief and things will be better for you so lean on us and hold that wee babe close to your heart as often as you can.

Big hugs


Comment by Marsha H on December 5, 2014 at 2:10pm

Renae ...  Much of what you are going through is very normal and it's a wise thing to be under doctor's care.  My doctor gave me a Vitamin B12 shot that perked me up a little giving me a little more pep and of course I take the essential vitamins (be sure you ask the pharmacist for the best vitamins and many don't do what they say.) 

I feel so badly you are at the beginning of your grief ad not feeling at all well.  It's common and many grief counselors tell a grieving individual to see their doctor for a full physical.  Grieving takes a great deal of energy out of us and a high mental strain so crying is the best thing one can do when they feel like it to get some of the stress lowered.  We are also more susceptible to colds, flues, rashes, aches/pains, upset tummies, constipation to diarrhea and sometimes high anxiety and panic attacks.  It is very important to see a dietician to help lead you down the right path of eating the right foods considering in raw grief our brains do feel like scrambled eggs.  Plenty of sleep and drinking lots of water and also going for walks.  You don't have to go to a gym to stay in shape, but daily walks are great.  I take my 2 dogs out for a good walk every day I can and if the weather doesn't permit I use my treadmill.  When we exercise it released endorphins I the brain making us feel better.

Trust me, hon, what you are going through is very normal in the first stages of grief and you seem to be going in the right direction working with your doctor.  If you aren't going to counseling please consider it because it does help to know there are others out there in the same situation you and by all means please keep posting on this forum as we are here to help you.

Big hugs


Comment by Renae McKee on December 5, 2014 at 11:13am

It has been 9 weeks ago today that MY SWEETHEART passed! I feel like it was yesterday and my brain feels like scrambled eggs. I am physically & emotionally so weak!!! I am going to the doctor today for my hospital follow-up, & hoping he can advise me on getting physically stronger. 

Comment by Barbara Sullivan on December 4, 2014 at 12:11am

Dear Elvira -- Congratulations on being a new grandmother!!!  How exciting!  I understand how you feel about not having Pablo with you to enjoy this new little wonderful baby -- but, I can assure you, as you watch him grow, you will have many, many moments of pure joy.  And, you will look for similarities of Pablo in him and delight in every single one.  Enjoy being a grandmother, Elvira!  It is one of the best events in life.  I hope you will write about little Andres and post pictures and share all the joy, with all of us.  May God bless your little treasure, his parents, and you.


Comment by Elvira Castellanos on December 3, 2014 at 9:51pm

Haven't been on Legacy in quite some time, in 6 days it will be 9 months that I lost my love & it's not getting any better, especially now that I became a grandma for the first time 1 week ago, it's a beautiful baby boy named Andres, my Pablo wanted so much to be a grandpa & he is not here to hold him, I feel happiness & sadness at the same time because it is not fair that he had to miss this special moment & he died without even knowing he was going to be a grandpa, I know he is his angel watching over him from heaven but it's not the same, I wanted him here, it was bad enough he was not here for his youngest son's wedding & now this, just felt I needed to vent & also let this wonderful group that I had become a grandma & for this I am very grateful.

Comment by Chicago Beard on November 30, 2014 at 3:37pm


That is a chair, space, whatever that can never be filled no matter what we do. Still, we carry on best we can.

Comment by Marsha H on November 30, 2014 at 2:04pm

Janeo well said.  British Columbia has 'Black Friday' now and I made the mistake of going during the day.  Oh boy, the crowds, people feeling cranky, arguing and it sort of took the spirit out of the who Christmas thing.  Never again!


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