Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: Nov 8

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by janeo on June 23, 2014 at 10:27pm
I find life changes are s lwsys happening no matter what we do. There is one that will never change my Richie will never come back .The rest I learn something new everyday. I'm so glad you have Abby in your life. That must be a great joy and a blessing. Congratulation s on your retirement. I wish I could cause I just don't have the energy. Always so tired.
Comment by Elvira Castellanos on June 23, 2014 at 9:56pm

Thanks Steve, my sister happens to work in a hospital in the area & one of her co-workers works for hospice but they only offer joining a group which totally interferes with my work schedule because it is during the afternoon hours, so I tried to look for bereavement groups in my area only to be disappointed again because they are very far or in areas that are not safe to go to during evening hours, so needless to say, this site has been my life saver, can't thank you enough for starting it, have met so many caring people that are going thru the same thing & completely understand my feelings & if I need to vent all the time or once in awhile, thanks for your response, will continue to look for groups that may start in my area.


Comment by Terry Kent on June 23, 2014 at 2:01pm

Hi Elvira.  I feel your pain.  Gus has now been gone 5 months and I feel just as lost today as I did when it happened.  I too am having terrible problems with focus and concentration, to the point where I just can't seem to get any work done and it's really affecting my business and productivity.  I keep trying to motivate myself but it's just not there.  We did celebrate my daughter's 16th birthday this weekend with family and her friends and that was a nice distraction.  Of course I can't stop thinking that her daddy wasn't here to be part of it, but it was important to make it a good day for her and we managed to do that and put the tears aside for the day.   Please try to look forward to your son's wedding coming up and know that as heartbroken as you are to be part of it without your husband that somehow as moms we need to muster up the strength to celebrate for our kids and make the day special for them.  I let myself laugh last night at the restaurant and probably enjoyed myself with family for the first time in a long time without tears.  Of course the tears came back today, but we showed my daughter a happy birthday last night with the help of my husband's brother and his family and it was okay.   I hope you can try to do that too for the wedding.  Take care.

Comment by DesertDove on June 23, 2014 at 1:55pm
Hello to all.... Haven't posted for a lonng time., however Steve. what state do u live in? Cuz the Hospice I used in Tucson DID not offer a companion to visit me at all! & boy I sure needed that. Hv no family here. went thru it all alone.Was 2 1/2 yrs ago my Hsband passes. I was a basket case as we all are
Had to go to Mortuary on my own. got ripped off they had me a Buy 8 death certificates when I only needed one! Thx for yr help & for setting this site. it literally saved my sanity...
Comment by Steve Cain on June 23, 2014 at 1:35pm
These situations are never easy Elvira. Iknow after I lost Kris I had problems being able to think and focus at times, which was very unlike me prior to that point. I always advise contacting your local hospice to get started in any of their programs that would fit your situation. As they are well versed in these situations, they can set up a program that's best for you. My hospice set me up with a companion that visited me on a regular basis as well as getting me in a group. My companion became my right hand, especially when I found out my stepson was stealing from me. He helped me make wise decisions to protect myself. I hope whatever medication your Dr. gives helps without dulling your emotions, they are your safeguard. Keep in touch, we care.
Comment by Elvira Castellanos on June 23, 2014 at 1:18pm

Hi all, horrible weekend, all I did was cry & sleep, like the sleep part because I am not thinking, why does it seem to be getting worse rather than better as the days go by, I know it's too soon, he has been gone only 4 and a half months but I can't bear to think of life without him, extremely depressed, hope the depression meds the doctor gave me start to do their work soon before I go nuts, my family is getting worried because at this point it is affecting my health, thank you all for listening & letting me vent.


Comment by stacey on June 23, 2014 at 9:28am

Dear Frank,

I hope thing start looking up for you we missed you on here glad to see your still able to came back post for support in anything you need. We are here for you like you are for us. Sorry things are a little rough right now keep your head up.

Comment by Frank Andrews on June 22, 2014 at 11:30pm

Very quiet forum so hope it is a good sign that all are doing a little bit better this week-end. I do think of all the friends and hope all are getting better and some joy if coming back into their lives. Hugs.

Comment by Carol Kayser on June 21, 2014 at 11:59pm
Hi Janeo:). I have actually retired after 25 yrs on the job! A few of my friends did at the same time so we are making plans. Been spending a lot of time with my granddaughter Abby too. Big life changes again!
We have a teacher's strike here where I live and so all the kids got out early!

Think of you too Janeo, hope summer is good to you!!!
Comment by janeo on June 21, 2014 at 10:40pm
Hi Carol,
How are things with you ? I hope your well. Yesterday was my last dsy of work for the summer break. I couldn't wait for it to be over. I was more excited than the kids if possible. LOL Whats been going with you? Think of you often. I might not write on here often but I do think of you and the others as well.

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