Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on March 24, 2019 at 12:01pm

Steve, I never received that email from Chuck..even checked my junk mail on the “big” computer. 

Trina, what a nice photo! 

Marsha..I know you must be so upset about Tootsie...that is my second biggest fear, havingmy 10 ty old kitty get sick and die...he is my world here.  I know cats can live longer now, but I follow him all over the house, he is my constant companion...and hislittle world has been so scrambled, What with us packing, and purging all the stuff accumulated over 50 years...Melinda was here for a week, and she did some serious cleaning...places I can,t reach etc...and we semi staged the house to list very soon.

Sara..I think this has just been a strange time for everyone..nothing seems familiar with weird weather, and and the world in general. I don,t know if that is just us, or if everyone is experiencing this...I just seems like there are so many changes in just a few weeks..the time chance, unpredictable weather, packing or tossing out my former life, searching for a new one, and little things like canceling Direct TV after 15 years...LOL...they raised my bill to $130 a month!!!  So now I had to learn Sling and other stuff...but this stuff seems to b happening to everyone Dylan sang “The Times, they are a changin”. I even got an IPHONE...I have NO IDEA how to use it, and I don,t much like it...but when I move, I will need a good phone until I get a landline..BTW...if u need a good phone, and are a Senior, I would recommend Consumer Cellular...only $200 for an IPHONE 6 and $15-20 a month! I rarely use it...but my SIL paid $800 for a 10 and she has no idea how to use it...worse than me.LOL can ALWAYS come here...sometimes I don,t come until I see someone has posted, cuz I get emails... but this month most of them went to my junk folder which never happened B4...

then when I do come..seems like I can never keep it simple..I just blather on and on in these ridiculous long posts. Ok, bye kids.

Comment by Marsha H on March 24, 2019 at 4:38am

Dear Steve ...

I am so happy to hear you are feeling much better.  My apologies for not contacting you and Chuck for such a long time, but things have not been good at my end so I prefer to email when I'm in a better frame of mind, but I always think of my 2 special brothers.  

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on March 24, 2019 at 4:37am

My dear friend Trina ...

What a beautiful picture of you and Joseph.  He is tall like my 
Ernie.  You so eloquently expressed how you felt missing Joseph and I feel the same without my Ernie.  My friends keep wanting me to go on online dating, but I just can't seem to take the step to do it. 

How wonderful that the student called you just when you needed someone the most and so happy you were blessed by going out for dinner and celebrating Joseph's birthday.  I know he was smiling and proud of you.  It makes me wonder if Joseph didn't set this up.

We do still miss our spouses and I find I'm extremely lonely at times while other times I enjoy my own company.  I am not really looking towards spring or summer as you see so many couples together; some going on holidays and so happy and a rush of memories come back to me when Ernie and I use to go on short trips and had so much fun.  It seems one's world just get's smaller when a beloved spouse has passed away. 

I hope your days are more peaceful my friend and that you smile more than having tears in your eyes.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on March 24, 2019 at 4:31am

Diane C ...  So nice to hear from you and how sweet of you to ask how we are doing.  I apologize to all here for not commenting sooner, but I've had that really bad flu and the dregs of it last for 6 weeks total.  I was one sick puppy and live alone, but thankfully my girlfriend and my great neighbors next door were very helpful.  I detest being ill (not that often) as I felt so safe when Ernie was around.  I am sure all of you can relate to that.  

Our weather here has been a mixed bag and although we are getting quite of bit of sunshine the breeze is still quite cool and the evenings very cool (I do love cool nights for sleeping.  LOL)

I also have been having problems with my 16 year old little dog Tootsie and so far she isn't sick enough to be put to sleep, but getting a little senile (it's the blind leading the blind between the 2 of us.  LOL)  She is of course on borrowed time and I'm just enjoy her as much as I can.  She's quite the trooper though and I will know when the time is right.  

My nephews who live just 1 1/2 blocks from me have found a better house to rent closer to their parents and a fair distance from me so I'm really going to miss them and feel like an orphan being stuck here.  

It has not been a good start for me for the beginning of the year, but I'll survive.  Now it's catch-up time now that my energy level is coming up, but still napping a lot re the flu.  

I hope Cheryl you are doing well and life is good to you my friend.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Sara Murphy on March 22, 2019 at 11:29am
Diane, I had actually been thinking about posting the same question....where is everyone? Thanks for beating me to it. This week has been crazy at work. My mind is mush by the time I get home. I too miss reading everyone's comments. Gives me hope for the future.
Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 21, 2019 at 5:43pm

Happier times: many moons ago in Hawaii for our wedding anniversary. Now it all seems like a distant dream...

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 21, 2019 at 5:42pm

Comment by Trina Mamoon on March 21, 2019 at 5:41pm

Hello Diane, MaryJane, and Steve, and All Others,

Yes, it's been slow here, but as MaryJane humorously commented, If you post, they will come. And sure enough, here we are! :-) Thank you for checking in and saying hello. This arching out is so important to our day to day survival.

I can only speak for myself: the reason I haven't posted in a while is that there really is not much to say except for the same old, same, how much I miss Joseph every single day, how the years fly by, and how each single day stretches out too long. And last Friday was Joseph's birthday; he would have turned 54. The marker days hit the hardest.

Something very interesting happened that I took it to be a sign from Joseph. I had decided to hide under the covers on Joseph's birthday, but out of the blue on the day before, a student of Joseph and mine from whom I hadn't heard from from a while, emailed me and said that she was coming  into town, and if I would please meet up with her because she still remembers Joseph and me fondly from all those years ago. This was too much to be a coincidence, I knew in my heart it was Joseph sending this student to me on his birthday so i would not be utterly miserable on his birthday. I invited the student out to dinner and we celebrated Joseph on his birthday. I passed the day in a bittersweet way, no major breakdown.

We, fold on this site, have to go on living when our soulmate, the love of our life is no longer with us. People who have not lost the love of their life do not understand the pain and sorrow this brings.

Steve, glad to hear that all is well with your medical news. 

Here is wishing you all a day that is bearable and not too depressing. Peace.

Comment by Diane C on March 21, 2019 at 11:25am

So good to hear from you MaryJane and Steve. I can really relate to you Steve with the doctors appointments and followups. I just saw my primary 2 weeks ago and I had gained 10 lbs in the past 6 months. I blame it on all the running taking care of my mom, and now depression has hit me after her death. I know these are only excuses and I really need to work on the diet and exercise regime. I have an appt with my cardiologist on Tuesday. He will be even less happy with me and my weight gain. Oh well, not much I can do about it before Tuesday.. haha. Glad to hear you and Chuck both got good reports. Getting old really takes its toll on us. The weather in Ohio sounds just like yours in Texas, except out temperatures are much cooler. But we can do 3 seasons in the same week. No wonder everyone is either sick or depressed. Hang in there, winter is bound to finally leave us. Thanks for letting us know you are doing well!! 

Comment by Steve G. on March 21, 2019 at 7:58am

I think that everyone is still reeling from the time change.  

The weather here in Texas has not been as frightful as some other parts; we get winter one day and then spring the next.  Today will start off with winter, then by mid-day spring.

Each day is different for us all I guess.  

Mary Jane, Chuck sent you an email to your personal account about a week ago.   I went ahead two weeks ago and upgraded his desk top with a new tower and windows 10.  Both of us have been busy with doctor visits these past few months...good news from it seems that each month one of us is doing follow up visits.  I check in daily on this site to see what's what, glad to hear from you  Diane and Mary Jane.

My primary Doc wants me to exercise and loose weight, I just don't think they get how we 'vintage' folks feel about all that, lol.  For me, I have lost 26 lbs mostly because of the radiation treatments, cause they left me weak and not really hungry.  But I pressed on and altered my intake of salt and sugur and cholesterol.  I am so close to breaking my goal of being under 200 lbs, I am sitting on 201 currently and I am more active and have more energy.  Next month I will be 71, so I am trying to get to at least 180 before our dreadful summer hits us in May or June...

Thanks for checking in Diane and Mary Jane...hope others will to.

Hugs to all.


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