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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: on Tuesday

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Roseanne Rogach on October 31, 2013 at 9:57am

Thanks to all for the warm welcome, there is comfort (unfortunately) in knowing others are feeling the same thing or can identify with what I am saying.  This journey is not something I am enjoying but it is reassuring to have this wonderful group for support. 

Comment by Marsha H on October 31, 2013 at 5:18am

Janice Foyle ...  You are so welcome and just posting how each of us feels whether it's a bad day or good day helps all of us and it's a great feeling to come to this forum and just open your heart to your feelings and lean on us and, you will be surprised how much you will be helping someone else.  There are all age groups on here.

Hope you post again if you need help or just want to vent your frustrations or fears.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Diane C on October 30, 2013 at 6:20pm

Hi everyone,

I would like to welcome the new members of this unfortunate club we have all been thrown together in. Welcome, Steve, Janice and Roseanne. Not sure how we all happened upon this site, but I am so thankful that I did...It is a great place to come and just let off steam or get your questions answered. There are many of us, and we are all in different stages of our grief. The three of you are so new to this whole grief process. I think you will be happy to just read along and you will find yourself in a lot of our posts. Feel free to jump in whenever you find the need. My husband died on 8-1-12 of pancreatic cancer. He lived for one year after diagnosis.

Hugs to all of you!!

Diane

Comment by Mark Jackson on October 30, 2013 at 6:18pm

Welcome to the group Janice, Steve, and Roseanne. It's truly a sad thing that we're here, my condolences to all of you. I will tell you, you won't find a better group of people any were.

Roseanna, I know just how you fell. I lost my wife Cathy of 33 years Sept. 24 2013. She would call me when she would get home on those days she had dialysis at about 1:00. I've answered the phone at work a few times thinking it was her. We had no children either. I'm glad you have a supportive family. To all of you please come here and post about anything you fell you need to. I didn't think it would help at first, but it really does.

Comment by janice foyt on October 30, 2013 at 5:45pm

Thank you so much everyone for the welcome to the group.  And thank you for being here for me.  I am sorry for all of the loss for each one of you.  I never understood what grief was until now.  I guess you really do not understand it completely until you have been through it.  I am here for everyone in anyway I can be.  It is really nice to know I now have caring people who really understand what I am going through.  

Comment by Marsha H on October 30, 2013 at 3:05pm

Mac ...  no one on here is far from my heart.  I know it sounds odd when we are heart-broken and grieving and taking those baby steps towards our unknown future, but in my 2nd year of grief I try to make others laugh or even myself at least once a day.  I may have a bad day, but I try to see the comical side of things.  I often tell of comical events that happen to me and believe me, I have plenty of them!  LOL

I hope you are having a better day of it Mac and know I'm thinking of you.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Roseanne Rogach on October 30, 2013 at 3:01pm

Thank you for the welcome Helen.  We had no children either so I am extremely grateful to brothers and sisters plus the nieces and nephews.  I am sorry your sister and nieces have turned their back, I know it is hard to deal with another persons grief but...  We were married 33 years and he was a healthy man but he got cancer (mouth and neck which eventually went to his brain) although he fought it heart and soul, surgery and treatments he could not beat it.  It would be gone after radiation/chemo but then return in a short time with a vengeance.  Although he was sick I fully expected him to recover and was shocked when he died (some of the shock could be from denial).  He was 56.  I miss him day and night, I still expect him to come through the door with a big smile, if only that could happen.  Thanks for listening.

Comment by Marsha H on October 30, 2013 at 2:57pm

Janice F ...  My deepest condolences on your husband's passing.  This is a wonderful forum (consider ourselves extended family) to help each other through this heart-wrenching grief; there are no book of instructions as to the depth of grief and each person handles it differently, but one thing we all have in common is we feel desperate to see our spouse again. 

Like many here you will go through a fog-like state of grief where you should not make big decisions such as selling your home, property of any sort, loaning money, getting rid of too many items of your husband (that can be done months from now when you are up to it.)  It would be a good idea to seek group grief counseling or one-on-one help from a grief counselor.  Here is a link I hope you read and print out and give to family so that all of you can understand grief a little better.  You may well not get all these symptoms because everyone is different.  There is no such thing as 5 - 7 or any other number of grief stages.  I will be leaving another link for everyone on here that will clarify that and hopefully put their lives into perspective.

I hope you continue to post on here as we are always ready and willing to help with any situation you encounter or you just want to talk about how you feel.  No one judges another on this forum.

Big hug (because you need it)  You are not alone!

Marsha

Comment by Helen Duncan Hutchinson on October 30, 2013 at 2:13pm

Steve  Have already welcomed you on to this site but had not realised how young your partner was.   For him to have died at that age makes the acceptance much worse but do come on here and you will always find someone who will sympathise and help you,   I am so sorry for your loss

Comment by Helen Duncan Hutchinson on October 30, 2013 at 2:02pm

Dear Steve and janice  welcome to the site no one wants to be on because it means we have lost spouses,    I am so sorry for your losses.   Mine was 3 plus years ago and the pain is no less now than then but I know I can come on here any time and no one tells me it is time I was "over it" as if it was flu or something.   Come back and tell us if anyone is cruel (*it is amazing how cruel people can be to a bereaved person).   I was accused last week of being a martyrs because I am still mourning my loved husband three years on,   What they don't get is that if you have a happy marriage (and I did) then the love grows deeper and stronger with every passing year and if one of you goes the one who is left is bereft.   Let us help if we can.   I know legacy has helped me otherwise I would  no longer be here.

 

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