Grief support groups, condolence advice, funeral etiquette and more
A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.
Latest Conversations: 5 hours ago
This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.
Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21.
Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24.
Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22.
Your grief is so fresh and you are just beginning the journey. It has only been 1 month for you. You are going to experience so many feelings and things that you miss. I still miss Rich's laugh and his touch. He had a great sense of humor and laughed all the time. Never a day goes by that I don't think of something that I miss. You will have your memories for the rest of your life. Hang in there Mark, and let those memories flow.
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha,
What in the heck were you thinking answering the door fresh out of the shower???? AND without your teeth. You had me laughing so hard, trying to visualize this guy looking at you smiling away. I wish I were a mouse in his house when he got back home. I am sure he was laughing all the way home. But I agree with Carol, the next time he sees you he is going to think Wow, first of all is that really her???? and then, he is going to think, wow she really dresses up nicely. IF you ever see him again, just say, Oh I understand that you stopped in and talked to my twin sister, who was visiting recently. Seriously, you need to be more careful answering your door in the future. But thanks for the funny story. As always it comes when I really need a pick me up!!
Love and Hugs to you!!
So good to hear from you. I hope you are doing ok, and getting through this whole grief process, as best you can. As we all know, it will be the toughest thing we ever have to do in our lives. But, with the help of all our family and friends on this site, we will make it!! Take care Cheryl, and keep in touch!!
To all ... I hope you enjoy this fantastic video (slow motion) and perhaps we can learn something from dogs ... SHAKE!' Shake the blues away and shake hard enough to face another day hopefully with a smile (don't break anything LOL)
Carol ... don't think the poor guy will be back... you know ... Halloween and all. LOL
Thanks my dear friend for clarifying my forgetfulness every so often as it worries me sometimes. I do have a lot on my plate right now and have been busy. Also trying to put my life into some kind of perspective and want to try and start the New Year with more positive things (if possible.)
Hope things are going well for you. We JUST HAVE TO get together before the weather gets worse.
Love & Hugs
MikeF ... Glad to hear you are doing OK.
Believe it or not you are getting stronger, out of that fog we were all in and my second year reality set in and some days were harder than others, but the old saying 'time does heal' (to a degree) rings true. You are so lucky to have work to return to after your Molly passed away. I'm retired and find it very difficult not having a job to go to so I can get my mind off things so I have to find other ways to get up and moving. I'm so happy to hear you got a Golden Retriever and pets are so comforting with a loyalty that is never ending. I have two small dogs .. Tootsie who is BishnxPoodle (10 years old) and a male Cockapoo named Booker T (8 years old) and they force me to get out and walk them when sometimes I use to feel like just pulling the covers over my head each morning I woke up. They give triple the love back that we give them.
I understand how much you miss your beloved Molly and the old life we had with our spouses. I think you have an extremely wise perspective on grief and the passing of Molly ... they have taught a lesson (however cruel it may seem) to 'stop and smell the flowers' and to unclutter our lives. I have learned the same things as you have from my Ernie. I have a saying, 'clean out your closet each year' which simply means looking at your life and letting some people in your life go that are not true friends and keeping those that are close to your heart and telling them every so often how much you appreciate and love them and family is included in this as well. I'm also happy to hear you don't work excessive hours as it's not worth it in the end and you miss so much of the wonderful things life has to offer. Your mother is going to be so thrilled that you are going to keep in touch with her more often and no matter how old you are you will always be her little boy. Ernie's and my parents have passed away, but I was caregiver and did have time for them (gave up my job) and never regretted it. Of course I know you can't do that.
Like you, I still find it difficult to feel joy when I am out with family or friends, but I can feel it slowly stirring deep down and it just takes time. It's another chapter of our life.
I think those of us that miss our spouses so much have been so very lucky as many people never experience a love like that. The old saying, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all' rings true. As painful as it is for me to look at old pictures of Ernie and I having so much fun in our lives I realize just how lucky I was to have had them.
You hang in there Mike and little by little the severe pain of grief will subside and you'll be able to think of Molly without the intense grief.
Yes, I am doing OK. Thanks for asking.
It is close to 10 months since Molly pass away. The fog has lifted quite a bit, depression comes and goes in cycles, but no joy has returned to my life. I returned to work two weeks after Molly passed and it has been an OK distraction. I adopted a 4 1/2 yr old Golden Retriever in July and she finds a way of keeping me active and fills my weekends and evenings with walking and petting.
I miss Molly tremendously and I miss many parts of my old life. Losing Molly has added a new perspective on what is important and what is not. I try to weed out the stuff that is no longer important (like working excessive hours) and continue to try to find important things (like staying in contact with my 88 year old mother) to fill the void that losing Molly has left.
Marsha! First I loved your story! I was thinking when your neighbor sees you again he will be like "wow, is that the same lady" LOL....I am sure you dress up real nice!
Being forgetful - for sure that will happen when you have so much on your plate. I wouldn't worry about it one bit.
Now when you don't remember where you live welll.....
To all: You are going to get a kick out of this one coming from me, but is it normal to be forgetful such as getting days mixed up? I'm just wondering as I'm one day ahead of myself this week. Have had lots to deal with lately.
Cheryl ... It's wonderful to see your post and always happy to see you drop in to check on us. Thank you for your kind words.
I hope and pray life is kinder to you these days. Don't be a stranger. We all needs those prayers and bless your heart.
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