Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 16 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on October 24, 2013 at 6:17pm

Diane C ...  I'm so sorry your brother didn't visit your father.  I have learned many years ago it's the women in the family that are generally the glue that keeps things together.  I quit a job to look after my mother and both Ernie's parents.  Time to have a little chat with your brother one day. I honestly don't hesitate when things happen like that.  This year now that reality has set in my brother (he's a real sweetheart actually) who is retired never came to visit me and never phoned so one day I just phoned him and let him know how much it hurt me.  We talked and I didn't realize he had health issues, but now things are looking up and he phones me more often and says 'I love you.'  Give your brother good old heist in the rear-end Canadian style for me and that would be ... sideways!  LOL

Hang in there girl.

Love & Hugs


Comment by Marsha H on October 24, 2013 at 6:12pm

News!  My last too brain cells conked out.  I went and got a push-up bra, came home all excited and realized I had nothing to push up so back it went! 

No offence to anyone on this forum ... sometimes just taking time out to joke is far better than crying.  Having unusual days of crying off and on for some strange reason, but I'm up and about and causing trouble.  LOL 

Comment by Marsha H on October 24, 2013 at 6:10pm

Diane C ....  Yup, my last two brain cells are spluttering and when a woman forgets to put in her teeth ... watch out!  Whatz next.  I have this vision of me forgetting to get dressed and getting in my car to do errands ... an ugly scene that would be.  Dogs and raccoons would be coming from far and wide eyeing bones! 

I think that guy got his info, had a laugh and I'll never know who he is.  I love the twin sister bit, but Ernie always told me 1 of me was enough!  LOL  Isn't it sad you live in a neighborhood and don't know most of your neighbors. I am careful answering the door (have a locked screen door don't open it unless I know he person (not even women.) 

Ya know I love ya girl!


Comment by Marsha H on October 24, 2013 at 6:01pm

Diane C ...  You are such a smart-butt!  LOL  Ahhhhhh, me thinks it could be Satuddderday!  ROTFL


Love you too and hope things are going well for you.


Comment by Diane C on October 24, 2013 at 4:31pm

Hey Marsha,

What day is today?????

Love you!!!

Comment by Diane C on October 24, 2013 at 4:31pm

Oh Barbara,

How I totally understand what you are saying. For the longest time, I could not even say Rich's name without bawling. It was longer than your 6 months. Give it time, with time you will be able to say Chris' name, and talk about him. I agree that coming to this forum makes it much easier to get your feelings out. It has really helped me to come as far as I have come in the year that Rich has been gone. There are times, even now that when I go to talk about Rich that I get choked up and have a hard time getting through the conversation. But it is not as often. I know people hate to hear that with time, it does get easier, not better, just easier to handle. For some it takes longer than others. I wish you the best in getting through the rough hills, but smoother roads are ahead. Take care Barb.

Hugs, Diane

Comment by Diane C on October 24, 2013 at 4:23pm

Hi Mike,

I am glad to hear that you are doing a little better. It will come and go, as you already know. I am glad to hear that you adopted a golden retriever. What a beautiful dog they are. I have a little yappy miniature pincher and she is not a very friendly dog to strangers, which is ok with me. But she gives unconditional love to me. We got her a couple months before Rich was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She was a blessing and a great companion for him during his cancer journey. She laid with him whenever he was in his chair or on the couch, and then whenever he was in bed. But now she is overly protective of Katie and I. And Mike, I am so proud of your commitment to stay in contact with your 88 year old mom.  I am very angry at my brother right now, because he came into town for a couple days and made no attempt to contact my dad who is 80 years old. I can not even tell him that my brother was in town, for fear of upsetting him. There is no conflict between them. My brother is just very condescending and full of himself. I love him dearly, but I just don't like him right now. Sorry, shouldn't have gone off on my own issues. Take care Mike, and again I am glad that the fog is starting to lift for you.


Comment by Diane C on October 24, 2013 at 4:14pm

Hi Mark,

Your grief is so fresh and you are just beginning the journey. It has only been 1 month for you. You are going to experience so many feelings and things that you miss. I still miss Rich's laugh and his touch. He had a great sense of humor and laughed all the time. Never a day goes by that I don't think of something that I miss. You will have your memories for the rest of your life. Hang in there Mark, and let those memories flow.

Comment by Diane C on October 24, 2013 at 4:06pm

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha,

What in the heck were you thinking answering the door fresh out of the shower???? AND without your teeth. You had me laughing so hard, trying to visualize this guy looking at you smiling away. I wish I were a mouse in his house when he got back home. I am sure he was laughing all the way home. But I agree with Carol, the next time he sees you he is going to think Wow, first of all is that really her???? and then, he is going to think, wow she really dresses up nicely. IF you ever see him again, just say, Oh I understand that you stopped in and talked to my twin sister, who was visiting recently. Seriously, you need to be more careful answering your door in the future. But thanks for the funny story. As always it comes when I really need a pick me up!!

Love and Hugs to you!!

Comment by Diane C on October 24, 2013 at 3:58pm

Hi Cheryl,

So good to hear from you. I hope you are doing ok, and getting through this whole grief process, as best you can. As we all know, it will be the toughest thing we ever have to do in our lives. But, with the help of all our family and friends on this site, we will make it!! Take care Cheryl, and keep in touch!!



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