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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1370
Latest Conversations: 2 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Thomas L. Trolia yesterday. 8 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

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Comment by Diane C on October 7, 2013 at 7:32pm

Helen,

You did an outstanding job with the students again. Don't put yourself down, thinking what you think the students thought about you. I am sure the information you gave them, gave them something to really think about. Sometimes you never know the impact you will make on someone. And if you just reached one of those students, you did your job spot on. I am proud of you!!

Comment by Diane C on October 7, 2013 at 7:29pm

Marsha, my heart broke for you when you described the awkward moment at your brothers house. I am glad that you had a wonderful dinner with them before this. I feel the same way when people around me show affection. I am so very happy for them and so very sad for myself at the same time. I know that I will never, ever in my life meet another man as kind and gentle as my husband. And I will have to accept that,  but I too ache for that touch. I guess we will for the rest of our lives. Until that day when we are reunited with our loves.

Hugs!!

Comment by Diane C on October 7, 2013 at 7:24pm

Hi Mark,

I hope your first day back to work went ok. I know how hard that was for me. But I work with a great team and they were all there for me and very patient. I work with another girl who lost her husband a few years ago, but she is about 10 years younger than me. But she was a good support for me. Hopefully you found the same thing where you work.

Comment by Diane C on October 7, 2013 at 7:22pm

Hi Stacey,

I am hoping today went ok for you. I was thinking about you, and was hoping you and the lil man had some good friends and family with you.

Comment by Diane C on October 7, 2013 at 7:14pm

Welcome Marcia,

I am glad you stumbled onto our site. I am so sorry for your loss and the loss of your job and your dog, all in the same year. Those are some tough issues to get through. You will find that we are animals lovers here too.I think you will be happy with all the help and advice you will find here. I lost my husband 8-1-12 to pancreatic cancer. He died on our 25th wedding anniversary. Although I am not familiar with Huntington's, we all know how you feel and we are all in different stages of our grief. We have all walked in your shoes. I wish you luck in your job search. I work full time, and it really does help to keep me occupied. Take care and come back often.

Comment by Marcia Kaul on October 7, 2013 at 5:48pm

My husband had Huntington's and we were together for 20yrs.  I knew he had the disease when we married. After awhile we slipped into denial.  I knew he had three more years and he would tell me he was going to be around for another ten. As the years passed neither of us adjusted those numbers in our minds.  The day he went to the ER I knew I would be bringing him home.  Within an hour he was gone.  We were blessed because until that day  I was able to keep him at home and take care of him.  Since his death I have lost my job and this summer our dog of 14 years died.

I am looking for a job to fill all these lonely hours.  Almost every morning I wake up at 3am. and can't go back to sleep.  I found this site when trying to do some research on grief. I was curious if others actually felt a physical ache that runs from the sole of their feet all the way to the heart.

I've been in the mental health field for over 20ys. A book I have read by Dr Campbell states that depression is most often a result of being unable to accept your current reality.  Until putting it in words I thought I had accepted.  Now I see that though I accepted Bob's death,I have not done so well at accepting being left behind.

I took a vacation this summer but without my husband it was just a change of location.

Marcia

Comment by Carol Kayser on October 7, 2013 at 3:01pm

To all new members, I wish to welcome you here to a wonderful group of supportive friends who will be here to offer advice, a virtual hug, and to understandwhat you are going through, as we all do.

Please let us know how you are doing, day by day each one is a different challenge for us, so baby steps. You may think you are further into the journey and doing well and then something happens and it's back to square one. Perfectly normal.

Hugs,
Carol

Comment by Carol Kayser on October 7, 2013 at 2:58pm

Dear Jane P. thanks for the lovely post. It is so truthful, we just need to be more aware of what is around us. The smallest and simplest things are truly some of the most precious to us. Angels are right here with us, I am pretty sure, otherwise we would be getting into even more trouble out there....:)

Hugs,
Carol

Comment by Carol Kayser on October 7, 2013 at 2:56pm

Dear Stacey. I hope you were able to get through the 1st anniversary of the loss of your love.
I am happy to hear your dad is helping you with a vehicle, that will relieve a lot of your stress too. My dad bought me a few cars in his day!

Hope you are good otherwise:)
Hugs,
Carol

Comment by Carol Kayser on October 7, 2013 at 2:54pm

Hello Mac - 1st snow - wow....the 1st snow always seems to have an innocence about it, a childlike wonderment.  Then of course reality sets in. 

Well I feel sad that you don't see your other grandchildren very much Mac.  I think you should ask your daughter to make arrangements to bring them over to see you once every 2 weeks, if it is hard for you to get out as much now.  They need to see their grandma and have a relationship with you, that is important on many levels:) I send you strength and good wishes that your daughter can see how important that is and please let us know if that works for you.  Especially the fall is here, Halloween and then Christmas, it would be wonderful for you to be able to see all the grandchildren then...so sending hugs to you Mac.

 

Stay warm ~

Hugs,

Carol

 

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