Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 16. 4 Replies

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Comment by Marsha H on June 9, 2018 at 3:27pm

Dear Chuck ...

Thank you for the wonderful compliment.  You know, I can still swing around on my broom, take a nose dive and land in your front yard ...  face plant!  LOL

I am so happy you have putting all your memories on DVD.  I have done the same.  Anyone that tells us that we should forget our past and move forward doesn't know what life is about. To remember those that we loved and have passed on to the family and friends we have now is so very precious and each person we come into contact with leaves an imprint on us and good memories.  Bad memories make us strong, but the good memories heal those wounds.  To look back in our lives shows us how well we lived life even throughout our mistakes and now it's time to look forward and make new memories to add to our list.

With much love

Your Sis


Comment by Sara Murphy on June 8, 2018 at 3:37pm

Chuck.....Memories are too precious to be let go of.  Ken's grandmother, who passed just 2 years before him at the age of 96, would routinely mention how precious her memories were and how grateful she was to have them.  She lost her husband in her 60's and her daughter (Ken's mother).  I didn't fully understand at the time when she would say "at least I have my memories" but I sure understand it now.  Also nothing wrong with converting your home movies to dvd.  I hope no one is suggesting you discard all photos of Larry so why should you discard home movies?  That's part of your history.   I hope you do move forward with it.  We converted my parents wedding footage to dvd and I'm glad we did.

Much love to everyone here.


Comment by Charles E. Nelson on June 8, 2018 at 6:30am

Dear Pete,

Like you, I am usually lurking somewhere in the background here, reading but without time or energy to post. I send belated wishes for peace and a hug for your and Rose's anniversary. I always smile when I see you here, because I think and pray for you often. Be well, and thank you for keeping us up with your status. You may be silent sometimes, but your presence is felt my friend - 

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on June 8, 2018 at 6:26am

Dear Chicago Beard,

I apologize for not doing so sooner, but I want to acknowledge your and Rose's anniversary. I so remember the first time you mentioned it during my first year - the sentiment about memories is lovely and truer than anything. I lost count of the times I've heard talk about not living in the past and letting go of memories. I ask "Why?" What can possibly be wrong with remembering the people, places, and things that all were a part of who we are now? I am having some old home movies copied onto DVD format to preserve them, and I see nothing unhealthy or morbid in that at all. Maybe it's just me, but I would feel like I was jettisoning myself if I discarded my past memories, both good and bad. 

Be well, and sending you wishes for a peaceful day -

Love, Chuck

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on June 8, 2018 at 6:19am

Dear Marsha,

Thank you is all I can say. Last night "The Wizard Of Oz" was on TV, and I know you won't take this the wrong way - I thought of you! All the funny comments about hopping on your broomstick and flying down to visit me during my first awful year came back, and I thought you were only allowed to say that because there is more Samantha to you than Margaret Hamilton. I know, I've seen your photo!

Just wanted to say hello and that we think of you every day -

Love, Chuck & Steve

Comment by Marsha H on June 8, 2018 at 4:30am

Dear Chicago Beard ...  Thank you for those words and they are so peaceful.


Comment by Marsha H on June 8, 2018 at 4:29am

Dear Mary.Jane ...

I have been praying and thinking of you often and feel so much better with the generous offer Chuck and Steve have given you.  I hope you take them up on it.  

I apologize for not coming on Legacy, but have not had any of the messages coming into my 'in box' for several days. Doesn't mean I don't think of each and every one of you.

I get so frustrated that I can't help more because most of you in the U.S. and I live in Canada.  If I was close to any of you that needed help you know you could count on me.

Take care my dear friend and keep us up-to-date.



Comment by Marsha H on June 8, 2018 at 4:26am

Dear Chuck & Steve ...  I echo the sentiments given to you and you've been so encouraging and kind to me as well and often kept me afloat.  There are just not enough words to thank you and what a wonderful offer you have made Mary.Jane, which sure puts my mind at rest for her.

Love you both


Comment by DJ on June 7, 2018 at 11:46pm

Chicago Beard: memories are truly treasures!  When we were on the road, and I was driving, my wife would say she was my "precious cargo" - indeed, and always my treasure.

Comment by Pete Bronson on June 7, 2018 at 5:49pm

Hello DJ like the song goes "You got to keep on smiling, just keep on smiling!". It is very difficult to be positive through all the adversity but it sure beats wallowing through self pity and negativity. A very wise man once told me life is what happens when you are making other plans, he was 110% correct.

Hello Sara I try to read all the notifications on my good eyesight days. I do not comment much but I am usually lurching somewhere.

No Mary Jane you are not alone, there are many like us and always someone worse off. You should contact your local senior center and Human Resource Agency. They are usually very good about helping find resources you need for your unique situation. Most Hospitals and Medical Centers usually have a volunteer network also. Sometimes a few phone calls changes everything you are concerned about. Do not fear asking to speak to a social worker about your needs, that is what these folks do and most are very good at it and ever so caring.



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