Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Terry Kent Mar 7, 2022. 6 Replies


Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

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Comment by deborah peck on July 2, 2019 at 9:08am

finally got Gregs pond back together, the creeping Jenny survived the flood while everything else died but its looking good

Comment by Marsha H on July 2, 2019 at 4:59am

Dear Mary.Jane ...  Wishing you a safe journey into a joyous new life with Bob right there with you every step of the way and of course all of us are rooting for you and you are in my prayers.  Don't let that feeling of fear fool you as it's generally just excitement and the unknown.  I know you will be happy you made the move,



Comment by Charles E. Nelson on July 1, 2019 at 10:32pm

Dear Mary Jane,

I haven't been reading the posts here for a while, so just now read about everything leading up to your flight tomorrow.

I relate completely to everything you wrote about leaving your home with Bob - leaving mine that I shared with Larry for 32 years was also like losing him all over again in a strange different way. Tomorrow Steve and I are going out to lunch for a very special occasion. It was July 2nd 2016 that we actually met face-to-face at the Allentown/Bethlehem Airport in PA. We have agreed to consider this date as our official anniversary, because it was from those first few days together in real space that sprang our present life together.

I know in my heart that the new life that will be greeting you will be fun/scary, exciting/upsetting - all kinds of mixed feelings impossible to describe. But I also know this - you will be fine, because Bob will be with you every minute, just as Larry and Mark have been with Steve and myself.

Oh, and don't forget - you have permanent family right here who will always love you, and never tire of having you share every step of your journey. We all of us are on our journeys too, and the fact that we can all walk this path together is still to me one of the most amazing miracles and blessings in my life.

Be well my friend, and don't be afraid of fear, because feeling that lets you know that you're alive, and still moving forward.

Hugs and much love, Chuck 

Comment by Diane C on June 28, 2019 at 11:24am

Good Luck Mary Jane. You have a whole entire group of cheerleaders that will be sending you silent cheers that you will do just fine with the move. I love that you saw the cardinal, that was for sure Bob letting you know he was with you on this decision. I can't say I know how you feel about moving, because I haven't had to do it myself yet. Good luck to Rudy, give him a treat and a nice scratch behind his ears to let him know we are all behind him too in having a nice, safe trip also. We are all here cheering you on.... Looking forward to hearing all about your travels and getting settled in. HUGS!!

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 28, 2019 at 11:16am


Comment by deborah peck on June 28, 2019 at 10:52am

Mary Jane let us know when you are all settled, I can understand crying over Bob, you are leaving the house you two shared, but know its just a house and he will forever be with you. The cardinal was surely a sign that all is good and he is rooting you on. I hope the trip is easy for you and you love your new place . God bless you on your new adventure

Comment by Frances C Younger on June 28, 2019 at 7:24am

Mary Jane, you faced a tough battle and you won this one!!  You needed the breakdown to plant your new self.  You proved you can do what you have to.  I hope that this will be the worst for you because it is DONE!!  I am also glad you will not be alone.  I hope you will share your new adventures.                                                 Frankie

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 27, 2019 at 10:25pm

Hello everyone. Saturday, the movers come. I haven,t even packed all the little bits yet. Melinda had to leave I have been alone..and overwhelmed. Honestly, this is worse than when Bob died...I know u will all think I am horrible...but I had the grace of knowing he was was just a matter of “when”. 

Oddly, today I cried over his death in a way I hadn,t before. I cannot explain why it was just was. This morning I saw the most beautiful male cardinal...he had a HUGE full plume on his head, and the sun made his color glow...then tonite I saw fire flies...but the topper in all this stress, is I heard a song on TV, by a group called WILD ...the song is “Here we go” about changing your life and moving on, a new beginning. So the house will b empty Sat night, except for the guest bed...and a chair..and a ratty TV...but I am packing 2 suitcases, staying at a hotel Sun and Monday night, closing on the house Monday, then kitty and I fly to CA Tuesday...hoping Rudy the kitty doesn,t pee in his carrier during the flight..sorry for rambling..I have been so stressed I cannot even finish brain is fried with realtor is going to,help me pack tomorrow...I found I cannot do a simple thing like TAPE up the my back wants to go out when I bend over. 

Tonight, I just rested instead of trying to finish loading the boxes. Apparently I needed it..cuz I feel better now. Thanks for reading the long post. I am usually upbeat and positive, but this has really knocked me down.  And everything is costing so much MONEY! My life savings r being wiped out by all of this. 

One a good note, I sold Bobs car...that was really hard..we took a road trip every year, but he sent a SIGN! I was taking one last picture of it parked on the street, when a PENSKE TRUCK drove by. He was a truck driver by artist by talent..we have 52 mirror boxes fill with his framed paintings.

thanyou if u actually read my rambling..but it felt good to get it out.

Comment by Marsha H on June 20, 2019 at 5:52am

Dear Mary.Jane ...  Vice-versa my friend.  I can well imagine how you feel being alone for a week, but you have your kitty so cuddle up and the week should fly by.  I know you are going to be so happy with your new life and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.  Prayers are will you my friend.



Comment by Mary. Jane on June 19, 2019 at 9:00am

THankyou everyone. I am so happy those of u who,were flooded didn,t get badly damaged. I was blessed that my location was a higher one and not too near water. 

Marsha..I cherish u. I am still living in a state of absolute terror...and I will be alone all next weeek while I finish things up, then catch a plane and move on to a new life. 

Thismis actually harder than when Bob died...thank God for Melinda..she has done everything. Bye for now


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