Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1371
Latest Conversations: 2 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24. 12 Replies

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Bonny Jones Jan 22. 12 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Bereaved Spouses to add comments!

Comment by Chicago Beard on June 7, 2018 at 11:10am

Image may contain: text

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 5, 2018 at 1:56pm

It’s really hard to type these tiny words when you’re crying. 

I agree...fate brought us all here, but we stay because of each other...

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on June 5, 2018 at 1:22pm

Dear Mary Jane,

OK, you have to stop making me cry! with all the kind things you say about Steve and I, I just reiterate your words that all the mambers of this very special family are totally involved and sincere in our caring for each other. I remember some of the incredible offers, like the one from Marsha to grab a plane and head north if I lost my home - something I thought was a distinct possibility for the first few months after Larry passed.

This was Steve's suggestion first, and when he asked me about it all I could do was to say "That, sir, is just so like you that I don't have words to reply except of course yes!"

We would love meeting you face-to-face someday, as we feel about everyone here. But absent that, you are all so imbeded in my heart that I fear you'll never get rid of me, or our Steve.

Love to all, and be well Mary Jane - as dear Marsha says, you will be fine and are being watched over by Bob, and many many angels.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 5, 2018 at 11:51am

Aren,t they? Omg, we here are so blessed to have such wonderful people here...the first time I ever came here, something about them touched me, and Chuck was the first person I reached out to. 

I have told my daughter and close friends about this site, and how blessed we all are to have found each other..

but never in my entire life have I received such a wonderful, kind and generous gesture as the one from Chuck and Steve. I will always treasure it, and it will remain the kindest thing anyone has ever suggested. THankyou guys for being such amazing, wonderful people...u have kinda restored my faith in humans. Big time.

Comment by deborah peck on June 5, 2018 at 10:33am

Steve, you and Chuck are one of a kind, that is what this sight is all about, total support for each other, thank you for being you

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 3, 2018 at 2:10pm

OMG, that is the sweetest offer I have ever received! But, good neighbor is going to take me! She offered last fact she was disappointed I was hesitant to ask her!

i cannot tell you both how much that means to me. And if you ever did come, for a visit, of course you would b welcome in mt guest room. 

I know this is a short reply, but I am just headed off for a nap. Melinda just left, and my EBV has never ever been worse than right now. This is the highest fever I have ever had with this. The last 10 days were more difficult than when Bob died. So much stress and emotion. I am going to lie down now with my kitty and dream about you and Steve and how blessed I am to have you two as friends. 


Comment by Steve G. on June 3, 2018 at 2:01pm

Mary.Jane...I have been catching up on all the posts and just wanted to throw this out to you.  Chuck and I live outside of Dallas, TX, which I think is about 4 1/2 hours south of Tulsa, OK.  With very little planning, we could drive north late one afternoon, spend the night at a local motel, meet up with you the next morning and get you to and from the place you need to have your procedure.  This is an official offer with no expiration date or time and in no way are there any strings attached; nor should you assume that this would be in any way putting any burden on us.  We would enjoy the opportunity to assist a sister in need at anytime.  I love to drive and we both love to travel...

 Please keep this offer tucked away somewhere safe and easy to find and should you want to take advantage of this, all you have to do is send Chuck an Email with the dates and time.  We can then plan and coordinate everything else.  Besides, it would be really great to meet face to face and spend time talking.  Our time is our own and we can make and change plans on a dime....

Your brothers,

Steve and Chuck 

Comment by Marsha H on June 3, 2018 at 4:42am

Mary.Jane ...  I am praying for you that all will go well.  So many things can cause bleeding in that area and it can be just fissures (little cracks ...  you know where.  LOL)  Sometimes it's an inward hemorrhoid or you may have pollpps which are very common and most are not cancerous at all.  My girlfriend has had several removed.  Try not to think the worst (easy for me to say, difficult to do.)  Your doctor is just being what he should be ... extra careful.  My brother also just had pollops removed and all was well.

As far as you being alone how I do understand that as I'm in the same situation you are.  I believe Sara mentioned that there are special pick-ups for those that have to go to the hospital for tests, minor surgery and bring you home again.  Phone the hospital and explain your situation.  Generally the anesthetic isn't strong although they wouldn't want you to drive, but you don't drive anyway.  If you have a neighbor don't feel bad asking if they can keep an eye on you and check in on you.   Just wish your daughter could stay with you a few days.

Big hugs


Comment by Sara Murphy on June 2, 2018 at 6:42pm

Pete.......It's good to hear from you.  I'm sure you're Rose was with you on your anniversary (and always).  Wishing you peace and happiness as well.  You deserve it.

Comment by Mary. Jane on June 2, 2018 at 6:26pm

Thanks Deb...but around here, most procedures are done in an area where a group of colonoscopy Drs share an office and operating room. This is the hardest place to get anywhere and I live wayyyy out in a sub division that is hell and gone from everywhere except other subdivisions. LOL

Even the Senior Center in this city won,t come this far to give Seniors a ride to their center. I DO have a niece who lives 40 mins from me, and a SIL..the same...and two WONDERFUL women who take me shopping and to simple Dr appts. So something will work out. The niece works all day, and my SIL doesn,t have a car’s a long long story...I am just shocked at WHY this had to happen now. In Feb when we went thru all the attic stuff,and was so much better...but this time it was really personal stuff...and it was like i had lost Bob all over again.only worse,as I don,t have the grace of being in shock.

i don,t know what I would do if I DIDN,t have here to come to and the support of the wonderful people here on Legacy.


Members (1371)


Latest Conversations

Mary. Jane commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
2 hours ago
Profile IconDeLina Murray-Bridgers and Tupelo joined LegacyConnect
4 hours ago
Profile IconSteven J. Fowler, Beverly Kennerson, ken H and 2 more joined LegacyConnect
Diane C commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Oct 8

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2019   Created by   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service