Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: Sep 29

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Bereaved Spouses to add comments!

Comment by Marsha H on September 1, 2018 at 5:38am

Deborah ...  What a wonderful thing to do with the balloons and I'm sure Greg was right there with you.  I get helium balloons and write love notes on it and take it Ernie's favorite river and let it fly to the heavens hoping he'll catch it.  I too have tears to this day when special occasions arise, but the tears are over much quicker and then it's on with life.

Comment by Marsha H on September 1, 2018 at 5:36am

Oh Mary ...  You're a pip!  Of course you NEVER offend any of us.  That's why we're hear to say what we feel and when frustrated or angry it's good to get it out of your system and I commend you for that.  I have to I laugh at some of your post; NOT LAUGHING AT YOU, but just the way you express yourself.  It's like reading a over the top novel never knowing what is coming next.  LOL

Love you for YOU


Comment by Mary. Jane on August 31, 2018 at 8:52pm

Thanks, guys!

Comment by deborah peck on August 31, 2018 at 7:00pm

I went and got Greg balloons for his pond for our anniversary this morning, have been fighting tears all day but the day is almost over and with all the special days I will make it thru it as we all do

Comment by deborah peck on August 31, 2018 at 6:57pm

Mary Jane I agree with Steve, no one should have to be afraid of offending anyone on here, I feel like its a safe zone for us all to vent as long as its not racial Im good

Comment by Steve G. on August 31, 2018 at 4:39pm

Mary.Jane - you  never have to apologize for anything you say on this site...if we start thrown stones at each other we would all have a lot of bruises...Your comments inspire me personally to think in ways I hadn't thought of before.  That is why I love this forum...we do not judge each other.  Too bad the rest of the outside world seems to think that is ok along with bullying and a host of other bad manners.  You dear heart have a lot to say and we all manage to support each other with our posts, inquiries, questions and insights.  Keep on being yourself, that is why people love you dear sister.

quote from Maya Angelou:

There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.

Comment by Mary. Jane on August 31, 2018 at 1:37pm

Hello everyone. I have a question for you. Sometimes after I post, I get worried that I might have said the wrong thing, or overstepped any boundaries. There are lots of times I tend to run my (mouth) keyboard and I worry about that all the time. 

I also have a terrible habit of apologizing all the time! For everything! Even stuff I have no control over! Friends and family have told me over and over to “STOP APOLOGIZING” for everything. I don,t think I was like this before Bob died...I just always feel if I say I am sorry, things will be better. Yes, I am weird. LOL

Comment by Mary. Jane on August 31, 2018 at 9:25am

Deb, my apologies..I DIDN,t see your post. I know today is your anniversary...and it is so very difficult. 

In a sense, I experienced the same I know how crushing it is It took me 18 months before it hit me, like a blow to the head, that this was real...I would never hear his laughter or hug  his solid chest, while we stood in the West window and watched a pretty sunset together..with our arms around each other we would say in tandem “A tender moment” I remember exactly where I was..walking through the kitchen, the moment realization kicked in, and the horrible pain nearly dropped me to my knees.

I will always be his wife, and he will be my husband until the day I die. That is just how it will always be for me. Sometimes, I can feel him here, so I talk to him...but lately that seems to be fading...I think it is the stress of trying to relocate..and my fears he won,t be able to find me...but that is silly, because he doesn,t live in this house, he lives in my heart, and always will. 

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on August 31, 2018 at 6:38am

Dear Debbie,

My thoughts are with you today - your comments made me pause and reflect on when the finality and permanence of Larry's loss first hit me. It was I believe when a friend drove me home from the hospital, chatting all the long way preparing me for the fact that the lawn needed mowing but her husband was coming the next day to do it. Also the mail box had been knocked down by a car, but he would fix that too. Then she walked me in, lifting my walker for me up the few steps necessary to enter the silent house. She then left for an urgent business appointment, and I sat in the kitchen listening to the silence roaring through the empty rooms and my tortured brain. It was then I actually realized that indeed Larry was not going to ever walk into that kitchen again.

I too still feel married - of late I have had to fill in many forms asking my marital status, and when I hover over married I am tempted to check that box rather than widow/widower, but I know that would confuse them in their paperwork. Still, it is more true than the box I do check, so I get it about what you are saying.

I pray that you have some peace today, and as you reflect on 27 years that have passed, may you feel your husband by you holding you and loving you forever.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Marsha H on August 31, 2018 at 4:32am

Dear Debbie ...  Of course I don't mind one bit if you use that link for the nature music youtube.  It's meant for all of you.  I listen to it each night before I sign out and go to bed.




Members (1376)


Latest Conversations

Belen is now a member of LegacyConnect
8 hours ago
Virginia is now a member of LegacyConnect
Profile IconBrandon C Price and Ellis Leigh joined LegacyConnect
Profile IconEdward Janne, CHAYA SPECTOR and Idrissa Uwdah joined LegacyConnect

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2020   Created by   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service