Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1377
Latest Conversations: yesterday

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

Comment Wall


You need to be a member of Bereaved Spouses to add comments!

Comment by deborah peck on April 9, 2018 at 11:35am

this Thursday will be 11 months for me, does anyone else feel like they are in a fog all the time? is this normal? I worry maybe something is wrong with me since I feel out of it most of the time

Comment by deborah peck on April 9, 2018 at 11:33am

Mary Jane, I had 2 readings from John Edwards, both before my husband passed but in one of the readings my mom and dad and my first husband came thru with a message that they had the baby, my niece that died from crib death at 4 months, no one could of known this . would love to have a reading now, both of them were free from calling into radio station he was on

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 7, 2018 at 9:57pm

Mary don't need to feel pressure to sell or donate anything you don't want to.  I have almost all of Ken's personal belongings and I doubt the day will ever come that I get rid of anything.  Your circumstance is different though because you're moving so you do have to pick and choose what you keep.  If I ever move, I'll have to make those same decisions. 

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 7, 2018 at 6:10pm

Oh, no...I know he would b fine with selling the stuff he collected..that is what we were eventually going to do with most of the stuff. It is just sad that the things he thought would bring in more money won,t.  I AM having a tough time with selling some of his personal things...he had a special belt buckle that he loved...and I should sell it...but it is hard to let it go. So you and Marsha are correct...I think I will keep the stuff with memories for awhile, and just sell the meaningless things.  EBay has really changed in the 10 years I was selling. There seems to be a lot of warnings to sellers about scammer buyers...funny, I didnt mind GIVING his two 10 speeds away to a charity..but this little stuff is such a pain in the a$$. Lol

No, I have not seen Tyler Henry...but I am a HUGE fan of Teresa Caputo the Long Island medium...and I would JUMP at the chance to see ANY medium!  

Someday I will tell you about a couple I know, who’s 13 yr old daughter died instantly from an unknown heart failure. They went to see a famous medium..John something, and they were overwhelmed by what they were told. The information was so comforting, and something NO ONE could have known, that her older brother DIDN,t need to see his therapist after, ever again. They got the peace they were seeking. I hope somehow that will happen for you.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 7, 2018 at 5:29pm

Have any of you heard of Tyler Henry and watched his show, Hollywood Medium?  He's going to be in my area tomorrow and I'm going to see him with a couple friends.  I think it's going to be more of a speaking engagement than a reading but I'm interested to hear what it's like to be a Medium.

Comment by Sara Murphy on April 7, 2018 at 5:24pm

Mary Jane.....I sold Ken's boat about 9 months after he passed.  He loved his boat and it was so hard watching it drive away.  Now I'm thinking about selling his truck this year.   I think Bob would be okay with you selling some items.  He would want you to be as financially stable as possible.  They may not be worth what he intended them to be but every little bit helps. 

Comment by Marsha H on April 7, 2018 at 4:54pm

Mary Jane ...  It isn't a weird question at all and at some point most of us will have to either give away or sell most of what our dear spouses had.  It's heartbreaking to say the least.  I had to sell Ernie's truck and camper; it hurt because we thought he was coming out of hospital and could make one last, short trip together.  The tears flowed!  Then the worst was selling his beloved ski boat and I took a loss on it.  I cried as the man and his wife drove off with it.  It took a few months for me to realize in the scope of life these are all 'just things.'  They really didn't make our spouse the great people they were, it was their love, personality, encouragement and that's what is most precious.  I have kept a few things of Ernie's just so I don't feel too guilty for selling things of his or giving it to charity.

Don't beat yourself up with guilt and just keep one of his collective items or a few more to put your mind at rest.  

Comment by Mary. Jane on April 7, 2018 at 3:31pm

This is a weird question, but have any of you planned to, or actually sold anything that belonged to your loved one? I am trying to start selling some of Bobs stuff on, before you think I am horrible...for years, Bob and I would frequent garage sales, flea markets  and thrift stores..and buy stuff he thought would be worth something someday. In a sense, he thought these items could help us financially in our “golden years”. There was no internet then, only books, and he researched extensively to know what to buy. Unfortunately..although he bought decent items, the market has TANKED. (Just watch Antique Roadshow) and I feel SO BADLY that all of his hard work and knowledge was for barely nothing now...and I feel so GUILTY about trying to sell even one or two items..I can’t seem to even BEGIN to list anything on EBay. I feel as though I am disrespecting all his hard work, and he is looking down at me from Heaven and shaking his head. 

Actually I am torn between guilt and ANGER, because I finally realized he was a hoarder...and most of the stuff he had collected was because “it might be worth something, someday”. Well, someday is now, and he is gone and all I am left with is memories and boxes of useless stuff, which my daughter and I went thru and donated 85% of what was there. What is left is barely worth listing on EBay. Just typing that makes me want to cry...he was so proud of “his finds” and typing this makes me realize if he had lived to see all his hard work was for nothing, it would have broken his heart.  Ironically..stuff is SO expensive now at stores, yet pretty vintage knick knacks are almost worthless. 12 years ago they were selling, but not any more..I guess people are spending $$$ on handbags, & electronics, and groceries. 

Thanks for letting me vent.

Comment by deborah peck on April 3, 2018 at 4:32pm

Mary Jane, I went and it was weird, I felt like a stranger at my own families, felt so weird and couldn't wait to go home. I think the next few months are going to be really hard with May 12th fast approaching the date Greg passed, I know tears are coming a lot again and I am feeling more depressed , hate this whole thing

Comment by Virginia on April 2, 2018 at 6:59pm

Thanks Diane for your response and yes it will always be hard and I wish the best for your mother.


Members (1377)


Latest Conversations

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2020   Created by   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service