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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

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Universe

Started by Julie. Last reply by DJ Dec 6, 2020. 1 Reply

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31, 2020. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

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Comment by kathleen caylor on June 13, 2010 at 9:47am
David,The pain is excruciating.No one should have to bare.Get away if you have to but do not make any life altering changes for now.You must grieve now,that is your job for now.You will have time for all those decisions later.So sorry for your loss.
Comment by david on June 13, 2010 at 9:11am
i had my wife for 28 years . recently killed in car accident. i no longer have a purpose or motivation for working . the house is no longer an home just a building . must move away . must also move my business . financially speaking both moves are mistakes. does not matter simply got to get away .
while i know my only hope to survive this is to stop feeling sorry for myself and start helping others and count my blessings God has given me before and after wife's death i simply can't do that right now . i am a ship at sea that's lost both the ability to move as well as ability to see where to go .lost both my engine as well as my compass . the pain is more than i can bear . i am writing this post out of desperation
Comment by kathleen caylor on June 13, 2010 at 6:33am
Today is my 9th month without my husband.We were married 44 years also.I miss him every minute of every day!But through him I think I've found the strength to go on.I think that is a tribute to him!I would dishonor him by not moving forward.
Comment by Randolph L. Schrader on June 13, 2010 at 6:14am
I dont know that fine line you are talking about because I died when my wife died. Am certainly dead inside and I do wish I was dead. After 15 months I have harden more but I still grieve 24/7 and do not like life without my wife of 44 years. Feel so useless. Doing all of your daily things and just being alive without your spouse is constant. Reality is, you are without your mate. To have lost such a big part of your very being is truly unbearable. Hugs to all. Hugs are good.
Comment by Virginia on June 13, 2010 at 5:49am
Kathieen, you are so right there is a line and a difference. I also went thru the same feelings and I think as we greive we don't see the difference.I'm just getting to the point after 13 and 1/2 months that I'm not crying everyday,I think about and miss mike everyday but the functioning part is getting better.Virginia
Comment by kathleen caylor on June 13, 2010 at 5:35am
Peg,Don't you find not wanting to live and wanting to die two different things?I have felt like I couldn't go on anymore and didn't want to be here without Ernie but not necessarily to die.I do feel like I have lived a full life and my kids are raised now,so I'm o.k.about dying.But I don't wish for death.There's a fine line there.Just a thought!
Comment by Peg Otley on June 12, 2010 at 8:03pm
Yesterday, I was watching my 4 yr.old granddaughter. I gave her a vitamin and I had my 6 or 7 pills in my hand and as I set them down with my drink, she said, "Nanny why do YOU get all those vitamins and I only get ONE?" I explained they were my medicine that I have to take. Of course...There was the forever WHY? I said so I can stay healthy and won't get sick. She looked at me with the most serious face..dimples and all and said " Nanny, I DON'T want you to die!!!!" I know we did not tell any of these kids that I had been in the hospital nor about the possible liver transplant but SOMEHOW I still think they sense things. My heart melted and it was THEN that I realized WHY I have to fight this!!! I feel my Harry put those words right in her mouth. I had to hide my tears.
Comment by BoLynn on June 12, 2010 at 7:31pm
%$#@##$# Who am I going to get my ice cream fix from? I wish you well, my friend. We'll be right here when you return. If you find out the secret of how to move on and be happy again, please share it with us because I know I need to be here to know that I am not alone in my grief and this is the only place where my pain is understood.
Comment by Yvonne on June 12, 2010 at 7:11pm
Take care Tom. Come back to us when you are ready. You and everyone here has helped me so much. I don't know what I would have done without this site. Some days I also find it too hard to come to this site. It is so heart breaking. We have all lost the loves of our lives and find it difficult to understand and to carry on. Good luck and I will miss you.
Comment by Pam on June 12, 2010 at 6:07pm
I do the count down of how many days, weeks it's been since my husband Bob passed. It was 3 months last Saturday. Why can't I focus our life together. How do you find the strength to get through the holidays. My friend is dealing today being 4 months since her husband past plus it's his birthday. I feel bad because I cannot help her. I'm not strong enough to help her get through the day. This afternoon all I did was cry. And my other friend call and wanted me to go to her house. I want to, but can't make myself leave. Life has become so hard. Some days I don't want to go on.
 

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