Information

Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1359
Latest Conversations: 19 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Bad and even worse days

Started by Patricia Huett. Last reply by Richard Gordon Jun 1. 4 Replies

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Apr 10. 4 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Bereaved Spouses to add comments!

Comment by Shelia Painter on October 2, 2010 at 10:50am
This message is for Jerry. I, too, am going through what you have been experiencing. The crying has become less frequent, although I still cry whenever I see my husband's picture or remember something he said to me. It has been almost nine months since he died and I find myself trying to get a new life. I would like to think that someday I will be able to have another relationship. I believe that I want that and I believe that God will prepare me for it. Keep the faith, Jerry, you are normal in your feelings.
Comment by Sage on October 2, 2010 at 10:47am
Hi Jerry -

Yes it is a part of the healing process. We are suppose to begin feeling better at some point. I was crying so much and felt so confused for so long I was actually making myself sick and our spouses wouldn't want this for us.. But - just when I feel like i'm doing better things will hit me and I begin to cry again.. Right now I feel like i'm doing better and its important to be able to do better for our own health.. Don't get me wrong - I love my husband with all of my heart.. We have been married for 44 years and when I came home after being gone a short time he was gone.. What brings me an inner peace is that I know my husband is in heaven yet I can feel his presence where ever I am.. In that glorious place called heaven is where we will meet and be together again with no sickness and tears of saddness - only tears of joy.. So try not to feel guilty Jerry.. You have a lot on your plate right now with taking care of your Mom and this care giving is helping you to get through your loss.. God bless you and your family. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.. ~Sage~
Comment by Merrill Linette Beach on October 2, 2010 at 10:36am
Thank you Virginia. It's been truly hard for me, as I'm sure it is for everyone else here. My husband was my life. I miss talking to him....I hear people talking to their spouses about their day and I cry, because I want so much to talk to him. He was the one I went to for everything. He died on November 7 and they brought him back, but he had been down too long without oxygen and on November 8, they said there was no hope, so I had to make the decision to let him go. Thy will be done. My birthday had landed on Thanksgiving of last year and he wasn't there for it and his birthday would have been the day after Christmas..he would have been 58. It's going to be tough during the holidays. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.
Comment by Virginia on October 2, 2010 at 10:06am
Jerry, YES it is part of the process I am going thru it and yes there's guilt because we feel like we are betraying them in some way because we are able to continue our life and even tho we will never forget our love for them or quit missing them. we are able to move forward and it does cause guilt because we seem to be doing it even if we had no intention on doing it but we are. we have to do so knowing we will never forget them, and with their blessings and know they will always be with us.
Comment by Marlena on October 2, 2010 at 7:36am
Chrystal,
Thanks goodness SS has kicked in for you...one less worry. Do you still have insurance, maybe the boys need to speak to a professional so they can release some of their anger in a productive way instead of on each other. Even a school counselor or psychologist (no insurance needed for him/her) could be helpful. I sat down with my son's school psychologist and explained the situation, and although my son never wanted to see him and talk about Dad (they usually only talked hunting and fishing) Nick knew he was there if he needed him...and the psychologist would keep tabs on Nick (sometimes without Nick even knowing it) just to be sure he was doing okay. This is all so new to each of you, it's going to take time before anyone feels any type of normalcy. It's great that you had the sign made, it's a good way to start your healing process. I think it's cathartic to share and tell our stories. I have had all the same thoughts about why are the good ones being taken away when there are so many horrible people in the world that continue to wreak havoc. It does not make any sense at all. Chrystal, I so wish there was something I could say or do to help you through this process. My heart breaks for you and all you are going through. Please know that we are all here to walk this journey with you. We may not have all the answers, but we have felt your pain. Please take care of yourself. I know it's the hardest thing to do in the beginning, but your boys need you and your husband would want you to carry on in the best way you can. One step at a time, one breath at a time.
Comment by Virginia on October 2, 2010 at 6:45am
Chrystal, I'm glad you got the ss. started, and i'm so sorry you are having such a diffacult time but this is still new for you and your boys all you can do is your best, and take baby steps. we are here for you hugs
Comment by chrystal click on October 2, 2010 at 4:25am
Everything seems to get worse.No job no income. Finaly I got ss for the 2 boys.At least I can pay my rent and electric. This is the only good thing. My children are fighting with each other and I can only handle so much before I snap.My sleep habits are nuts. I cannot go to sleep until the kids go to school. Then I get up at 12. I miss John soo much... He hasn't even been gone 2 months. I sleep in his shirts wear his pants just to feel like he's here still.I went and got a sign made because DOT couldn't do it cause it wasn't a hwy.So I spent $75 on it.And it is personalized so when anyone goes by the the rosd they will see my husband...I need him soo much to help with the kids and me it's not even funny.Now I have to do it alone.It's not fair that he has too loose his life ( a good man,father) when they have all these scum bags doing terrible things to other people and nothing happens to them...Why take the good when they can take the bad... Doesn't make since...
Comment by chrystal click on October 2, 2010 at 4:25am
Everything seems to get worse.No job no income. Finaly I got ss for the 2 boys.At least I can pay my rent and electric. This is the only good thing. My children are fighting with each other and I can only handle so much before I snap.My sleep habits are nuts. I cannot go to sleep until the kids go to school. Then I get up at 12. I miss John soo much... He hasn't even been gone 2 months. I sleep in his shirts wear his pants just to feel like he's here still.I went and got a sign made because DOT couldn't do it cause it wasn't a hwy.So I spent $75 on it.And it is personalized so when anyone goes by the the rosd they will see my husband...I need him soo much to help with the kids and me it's not even funny.Now I have to do it alone.It's not fair that he has too loose his life ( a good man,father) when they have all these scum bags doing terrible things to other people and nothing happens to them...Why take the good when they can take the bad... Doesn't make since...
Comment by Virginia on October 1, 2010 at 9:28pm
Nancy, theres not much more to be said. HOPE , hugs
Comment by Marlena on October 1, 2010 at 9:14pm
Beautifully said, Nancy! We all need to heed these words. Blessings to you.
 

Members (1359)

 
 
 

Latest Conversations

elyse left a comment for Legacy.com
11 hours ago
Stephanie Hughes commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
19 hours ago
Profile IconApril Hass and Roshonda P Kimbrough joined LegacyConnect
22 hours ago
Charles E. Nelson commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
22 hours ago

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Follow Legacy

© 2018   Created by Legacy.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service