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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1342
Latest Conversations: 17 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Bad day

Started by David Heggi. Last reply by David Heggi Nov 22. 2 Replies

New member

Started by denise. Last reply by Marsha H Oct 25. 4 Replies

Need Advice:Grief and Chronic Fatigue

Started by Kaela Roster Federle. Last reply by Kaela Roster Federle Sep 25. 27 Replies

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Comment by Diane C on Tuesday

Hello everyone, been a while since I have posted. I stay in touch by reading everyone's posts. I received this in my morning affirmations and thought I would share it with all of you.....

When your grief is new, all you can feel is the emptiness; the missing, the wanting, and the needing to see them one more time. There is truly a vacuum in your heart and life; a deeply empty space, and you’re sure nothing will ever fill the void. And, for a long time, nothing does. In fact, I don’t think it’s a process of filling the space, but rather one where the space shrinks ever smaller. It doesn’t go away all together, but it will become less through time.

Love and Peace to all!!!

Comment by Christine Blaire on Tuesday

Dear friends.....

Went a.nd saw surgeon. It's stage two aggressive cancer. They don't feel it's gone anywhere else so they are going to do Mir and pet scan. She said with chemo,radiation,and surgery it is curable.I told her no do the tests and just a lumpectomy. I will not live 10,15,20 years without him. So, five years give or take is ok. She said too that maybe ill change my mind 6 months from now and it will be too late. Told her I won't change my mind. The Dr was ok for now that I agreed to have the tests done. It is 3 centimeters. They will have the ok in a day or two. I know it will be approved cause I have same coverage my Marshall had and they...insurance...approved his pet scan and Mri. I got the impression that they are going to move pretty fast on this. With the lumpectomy I will be in the hospital one night at most . The surgeon said I'm too healthy otherwise not to have chemo and radiation. Not doing it. It will be a miracle if I live the five years. Could be more, could be less. I want to be with my Marshall and that's all I want, it won't change. The lumpectomy will give me a little more time to get things in order and will stop all my friends who mean well to let me be. I AM going to try something but it's not long term. I'm only existing, not living. And without my Marshall that won't change.

Comment by georgia on Tuesday

Dear Cristine,

i am sorry for the Cancer diagnoses .

i would like to wish you good luck.

may God be with you.

Comment by Sara Murphy on Tuesday

David.....One thing I realized after I lost Ken was that I didn't realize I had felt "normal" before.  We all go about our days, going to work, making dinner, weekend plans etc.  Ken and I were very close, did everything together and were basically 2 people living 1 life.  We spent 30 years building that life and still, I didn't realize I felt normal.  I never realized that normal was a feeling until he was gone and my world turned completely upside down.  You, my friend, are not going insane.  I think you too are realizing you no longer feel normal.  People throw around the phrase about finding a new normal very casually but it's not a casual thing to do.  I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable in life again. 

Sending you a hug tonight,

Sara

Comment by Sara Murphy on Tuesday

Patti...It's funny, we seem to be opposite on the Christmas card thing.  Last year was my first Christmas without Ken but I still sent out cards (though not as many as previous years).  This year, I have the cards to send out but no interest in sending them and really no interest in Christmas whatsoever.  I did have 2 of my nieces over yesterday to make pizzelles as they like doing that.  Watching them grow up is my only reason for being here and I realize how important making memories are.

Comment by David Heggi on Tuesday

Dear Mary Jane,

You caught me!

I was sitting here staring at this thing waiting for some angel to post - and there you were.  Thank you.

This is when my David and I would sit and discuss our day.  Now it's just me and the box.  It's impossible to reconcile.

Do you, Mary Jane, sometimes feel like you're going insane?

I "know" it's common to think this way; I just want someone to tell me, again.

Your friend,

David H

Comment by Mary. Jane on Tuesday

DAVID...lol I do the same thing some days!!!  There r some days when I. Am feeling alone, and want to reconnect with someone. Sometimes this place is full of people, othertimes, it’s like their all gone! Not a peep from anyone. So, you’d thing i’d Put away the laptop and go do something..but nope...I sit here waiting for someone to post something. 

PATTI..I used to love sending out Christmas cards..but with all the technology it is rare to get a card. I love it when I do. My mom used to get hundreds of cards every year! I use to display them all over the house.

Comment by Christine Blaire on Monday

Dear friends.....

Went a.nd saw surgeon. It's stage two aggressive cancer. They don't feel it's gone anywhere else so they are going to do Mir and pet scan. She said with chemo,radiation,and surgery it is curable.I told her no do the tests and just a lumpectomy. I will not live 10,15,20 years without him. So, five years give or take is ok. She said too that maybe ill change my mind 6 months from now and it will be too late. Told her I won't change my mind. The Dr was ok for now that I agreed to have the tests done. It is 3 centimeters. They will have the ok in a day or two. I know it will be approved cause I have same coverage my Marshall had and they...insurance...approved his pet scan and Mri. I got the impression that they are going to move pretty fast on this. With the lumpectomy I will be in the hospital one night at most . The surgeon said I'm too healthy otherwise not to have chemo and radiation. Not doing it. It will be a miracle if I live the five years. Could be more, could be less. I want to be with my Marshall and that's all I want, it won't change. The lumpectomy will give me a little more time to get things in order and will stop all my friends who mean well to let me be. I AM going to try something but it's not long term. I'm only existing, not living. And without my Marshall that won't change.

Comment by Patti on Monday

Happy Monday everyone....hope the weekend was good for everyone.  I decided to send out Christmas cards....I didn't do it last year but I was able to get my kids when we were together for Thanksgiving to take a nice photo...all dressed up in matching PJs....we use to do that when Joe was alive...so they agreed and we did it.  I spent my weekend filling out cards.  It wasn't easy but I got through it and now I'm glad I did it....I know Joe wouldn't want me to stop doing the things that I liked doing.  This week is crazy for me....I can just hear him "slow down" enjoy the holidays.  But I've thrown myself into my job and this week I am traveling the east coast to my other branches.  I hope everyone has a peaceful week.

Comment by Sara Murphy on Monday

Steve and Chuck.....Good luck with your closing tomorrow although by the time you read this, I'm sure it'll be after the fact. 

 

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David Heggi commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
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Barbara Rieger posted a status
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