Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1333
Latest Conversations: 3 hours ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

On the last day of our vacation my husband died.

Started by Andrew Berenyi Jr.. Last reply by deborah peck 9 hours ago. 33 Replies

Recent death

Started by deborah peck. Last reply by Sara Murphy 9 hours ago. 6 Replies

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane Aug 13. 15 Replies

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Comment by deborah peck yesterday

I'm sitting here reading all of your post and crying for everyone, including myself, not sure how this group thing works as Ive never done this before but the evenings and the minute I wake up are the worst so I looked online for a support group that I can sit and cry and write at the same time. I'm normally a very private person so an actual person to person group wouldn't work as I don't think I could discuss without crying, its been 3 months and 10 days an it just keeps getting worse, any advise to stop the panicky feeling when I first wake up

Comment by Marsha H yesterday

Sandfly ...  you are most welcome and I hope you keep posting with us.  Believe it or not with your postings we learn much from you as well even though you may not realize it.

I pray you are having a much better day today.  :)

Comment by Marsha H yesterday

Steve ...  your words are so kind as always and I'm happy I can add some joy into your life.  You and Chuck have been just as wonderful to me and I love to read your posts because they lift my spirits and you both write in such a wonderful way.

Hugs back!

Comment by Sandfly yesterday

Thank you for all your lovely and supportive comments.They mean a lot :)

Comment by Sara Murphy yesterday

Russ.....I'm catching up on reading posts from the weekend and want to welcome you to our group.  Although this is not a group anyone ever wants to join, it's definitely a group we NEED.  I'm sorry for the loss of your partner.   As several others have already mentioned, you found a place where people understand.  This is something we don't have with family and friends, at least in my case none have lost a spouse so no one understands my pain.  I lost my husband Ken on 1/13/16, he was 52 years old and we'd been together for 30 years.   Just like you, it feels like yesterday.  When I first lost him, I was going crazy because there was no one to talk to.  I'm lucky that I found this site 2 months later and wasn't sure it was going to help until I saw someone else post what was in my head.  I had thought there was something wrong with me until I saw that post.  That's when I knew I found "my people".  Through everyone else's posts, I knew my feelings and crazy thoughts were normal.  Nothing will ever take away the deep pain I feel but having a place to go and talk safely without feeling judged helps more than I can say.  I'm so grateful for my Legacy family and hope you find the same comfort.

Love and Hugs,


Comment by Mary. Jane on Sunday
Steve,,"aww, shucks!" Thank you
Comment by Steve on Sunday


You have been with me from the first day I posted and you still keep me growing.  Your kind words, your simple direct actions and advise challenged me to go looking for the me I forgot so long ago.  We are one big family here and we stay connected, sometimes it is good to step back and just say thank you,


Comment by Steve on Sunday

Mary Jane,

You dear lady find the most poignant and minutiae details that I would not have thought of, thank you dear sister, you keep me on my toes.  Hugs...

Comment by Steve on Sunday

Dear Sandfly,

I am approaching my 3rd year loss on November 31st of this year and as Marsha said each year becomes clearer for me, hate to use the word easier.  I started this journey for looking for answers to why did this have to happen to me? what did I do to deserve such an awful fate? what did Mark do to deserve his fate? All said and done, for me, I went back in time thru my memories from childhood to present day.  My life started on April 20th, 1947 and then in September of that same year my Mother died.  All the events from that point in my life to now has yielded clarity for me. 

My first year after Mark's death was everything you described, for me I found that the days leading up to that date were more terrible than the actual day.  I think I was posting and venting almost daily on this site.  I even thought that everyone was tired of hearing from me, I could not have been more wrong.  The love and understanding here brought me to today, my prayer for you is that you too will find solace here among some of the finest people I have ever had the pleasure to call my family.

Your picture was stunning, moving and brought tears, not sad tears, tears of joy.  God bless you dear lady, you are stronger than you think.

Comment by Russ Macaluso on Sunday

ySandfly I am very new here so I'm probably the last one that should be throwing out encouragement.  I too wake up every morning and my first thought I, What for ...what in the hell am I going to do with my life today". But as negative as this may sound I can't allow this negativity to persist; it will consume me.  So I tell myself the "what for" is to reassure my partner in heaven that I'm okay. Today I was thinking why am I even bothering with this site because words have not helped me in the past.  But the very short time I have been on here I recognize there are people who actually care and maybe for the 1st time since losing my partner they are willing to listen. Lift your chin up for your man and let him know you're going to be damn okay.  Lots of hugs and I'm always here if you need to talk.  Take care...Russ


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