Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Mary. Jane on March 17, 2020 at 1:06am

Steve, I just read your quotes...sorry it took me so long...I was focusing on the dangers we are facing, instead of the comfort of Ms Angelos words. 

Oddly, I am very familiar with one of those quotes, and think about it a lot, when I am about to say something  stupid. The one about how you make people FEEL. 

I didn,t know she was who said it. Thank you.

Comment by Mary. Jane on March 16, 2020 at 3:11pm

Deb...the kids here, who got free lunches are still getting them..I am not sure exactly how, but on the news, the trucks with the STACKS of trays of lunches arrived at each school that was closed, and set the. Up for pickup. I guess each child’s family picks them up?

Oh, Diane..In October, I will have 40 years of sobriety..but, DARN, I REALLY wish I could have a drink now! Just one, to take the edge off..but I cannot. There is no ‘just one” for me.So enjoy! 

Comment by Diane C on March 16, 2020 at 11:27am
I am in Ohio. They have closed ALL of our bars and restaurants as of last night (Sunday) at 2100. So many items have been hoarded, it is an absolute mess. I just hope I can get some alcohol after work today..... My daughter asked if I meant rubbing or consumables.... I told her I have absolutely no use for rubbing alcohol at this point. ☺ Take care everyone, stay safe and we will get through this, one day at a time!!!
Comment by deborah peck on March 16, 2020 at 11:22am

Mary Jane, I too had thoughts of I was glad Greg didn't have to go thru this because of his health, We ar all being very careful in my house, my daughter and grandson live here too, she is a nurse at an elite health care facility for the elderly, she says some time this week she will no longer be allowed to leave so to stop the virus being tracked in by health care workers, she is so upset to be separated, very scqry for her and us. Has put her son on strict lock down except to play basketball or skateboard but no friends, shes afraid he will bring something home to me, even though my health is good.  The kids here are now out of school until the 6th, so I worry about all the kids that got free lunches, I was supervisor in middle school kitchen and you would not believe how many times I gave kids free meals as they didn't have money and lived in shelters. So say a prayer for them all and as they say This too shall pass.

Comment by Sara Murphy on March 16, 2020 at 9:30am

Deb.....I hope you are and remain healthy.  To be honest, I was concerned when you mentioned you were going to this convention but I also believe our country has never been cleaner than it is right now so you'll probably be ok.

Steve....Thanks for posting these quotes.  The one I like best is the "You may not control..." quote as I feel that we live that one every day.  None of us could control the loss we experienced but we can decide were we go from here.


Comment by Steve G. on March 16, 2020 at 8:19am

Some of my most favorite Quotes by Maya Angelou, it is in times like these that I find comfort and reassurance  from these simple and profound quotes.  I share them today in hopes that we can and will face these fears that complicate our lives beyond what we have all gone thru:


'I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away."



Comment by Mary. Jane on March 15, 2020 at 6:37pm

OMG, Deborah! Swiffer floor wipes! That is a SPECTACULAR idea!

 Seriously, I am passing that on to everyone I know! I have self quarantined for almost 10 days...Melinda did my food shopping for me, and Amazon has me as one of its top shoppers. Lol.

Here at the mobile park, things are pretty quiet..I am a volunteer, decorating,writing a monthly column for the magazine, helping with luncheons in the kitchen, etc..I went to a meeting last Tuesday, and the others didn’t seem as scared as I am..maybe they were just hiding their terror..but I canceled a decorating was really from fear, but my knee also went out..

Honestly, I just can’t stop thinking about this! My mind goes to terrible places of fear.

And, saddest..I was having a cigarette on my porch, yes, I smoke, thinking I was happy BOB didn,t live to experience this..and I had a meltdown of missing him so badly it hurt. I started crying right there on my snazzy, padded, wrought iron chair. Not a tissue in sight. 

Yes, I am trying to find the humor in anything I can. It helps. 

Comment by deborah peck on March 15, 2020 at 5:53pm

Just got back from my scrapbooking convention with my sister, was kinda spooky, not as many people and its all anyone talked about, we went to store to get wipes for our hotel room only to come home with Clorox floor pads for a swifter, but hey it worked, we just kept everything wiped down and plenty of hand washing and sanitizer, tried to order groceries from Walmart, when I got home, everything was empty, finally got from a bigger store and delivered, I am self quarantining myself just in case, sure don't want to pass anything around. you guys all stay safe and take care of yourselves

Comment by Sara Murphy on March 14, 2020 at 11:08am

I'm social distancing in that I won't go to a restaurant and will be canceling my plans for this coming Friday night.  I'm supposed to go out with a group of people to a disco night at a local club,  I don't even like disco so I'm not sad about missing that.  I am still going into work even though I have the option of working from home.  The panic buying is out of control here but I have enough already that I don't need to worry about groceries for a couple of weeks.   What was unnerving however was a "shelter in place" in my town last night.  There was a man with a gun behind our local Market Basket.  People are just crazy now. 

Comment by Steve G. on March 14, 2020 at 8:34am

Chuck and I are social distancing ourselves, we do not go out unless it is to grocery store or CVS drive thru.  No eating out and no social gatherings.

I had purchased discounted airline tickets back in February to fly to Jacksonville, Fl to visit my Aunt and Uncle.  We are not going, the tickets are not refundable and our departure date is 3/23.  Still trying to get a partial refund, when I called Travelosity, I get a recorded message saying they are having technical difficulties and try again later.  Oh well, not going to loose sleep over it.

This morning we were going out early to our local Kroger for staple items, 7:30 in the morning and the lot was full.

We came home, we are both in that high risk level so we are being cautious.

Not scared, just unnerving when each day the news is focused on nothing but the virus.

We have plenty of groceries that are non perishable, so we can wait a week or two before we actually need to go back.

We live in Tarrant county, Ft Worth being the county seat, Dallas county is just next door to our east.  Dallas has begun to take extreme measures similar to other larger cities, while Tarrant county has not except for cancelling larger gatherings over 250, no school closings yet, but the did extend spring week by two more weeks.

Like Mary Jane..."What will be, will be" as the song goes.

To all our legacy family, be safe, take care and remember that "this too shall pass"!

Love and hugs



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