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Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1376
Latest Conversations: Sep 29

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.

Peace

Discussion Forum

Grief so great it hurts

Started by Bonny Jones. Last reply by Diamond Jan 31. 13 Replies

Navigating Widow-hood

Started by Tim's Mom, Vickie. Last reply by Michele Jul 21, 2019. 5 Replies

Finding the new normal

Started by Sharon Kinsey. Last reply by Frances C Younger Jun 24, 2019. 12 Replies

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Comment by Steve G. on August 18, 2020 at 8:26am

Every day is full of challenges, my grief continues, my level of depression is on a roller coaster.  I have been fighting depression for most of my life and I stay on my meds daily, thrown into a pandemic has added a new newness for me.  I let it out, I cry a lot, some days I am peaceful; if it wasn't for Chuck in my life I do not know how my life would be.  We openly talk to each other and that helps more than anyone can understand.

We stay busy at home, we talk or text to friends and sometimes we use Zoom to see them.  We only go out to pick up groceries that we order online, or for necessary Dr. appointments...etc.

This too shall pass is my go to phrase to remind me that life is full of joy, sad times, bad times and each new day is a blessing...if we take time to look for it.

Love and hugs to all

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on August 18, 2020 at 7:53am

Hello everyone,

Once again it has been quiet here, and I sincerely hope that isn't an indication of family having any health problems  - and you are my legacy family. 

Welcome Dr. Gayle, and I do agree with your comments, but my feelings of anger and frustration may also be tied to the current silence in this site. Here we all are, struggling through this global pandemic and it's effects medically, socially, and financially. Simultaneously here in the US we are in a political campaign for president that is being conducted within the new constraints and safety considerations necessitated by this crisis. 

This site is for us to share our grief and healing with each other, to offer support and comfort, and especially hope to all members new and long time. We have always been respectful of the requests to avoid straying too far from that goal, and mostly only speak of religion and financial matters as they relate to our losses of our spouses. That said, none of us exist in a vacuum, and our individual views and feelings regarding politics and religion are inexorably intertwined with our reactions to current events and public figures. 

I suspect the silence is partly due to the fact that some of us dare not write what we are truly feeling at this point in time for fear of offending or beginning arguments. Personally speaking, that is where much of my own anger stems from - a lack of ability to vent my frustrations and criticisms arising from the very real situations happening all around us on a daily basis.

I too wish for a day when it will all be over, but in my heart I believe we must accept and prepare mentally for a very challenging reality - it may never be "over" as we wish, and a return to "normal" is likely not in the cards. We need to be strong and adult and assume the responsibility of facing life as it is now, putting the health and welfare of others as much in our daily actions as we are concerned for our own.

Wishing everyone some peace of mind, a spark of hope, and at least one good laugh each day...something we can all use.

Love, Chuck

Comment by Mary. Jane on August 17, 2020 at 9:57pm

Hello Dr Gayle...yes, I agree with you..but we’re ARE limited to what we are able to,DO with our free time...welcome, and feel free to introduce yourself. 

Comment by Dr Gayle K on August 17, 2020 at 7:53pm

finally we all have a month of Sundays and are sick of it!  I see a lot of frustration and anger any more... will be glad when it is all over.

Comment by deborah peck on July 17, 2020 at 2:17pm

Glad to hear everyone is doing good with our new normal, I live in st Charles Mo. they are talking about doing face mask mandatory here, which is good, I use them anyway. Have been busy watching my 6 year old grandson all summer so his mom can work from home, its been interesting finding things to do while not going to public indoor places, now six flags or zoo. I don't feel its safe and I am not wearing a mask in 100 degree heat so better to hike and swim in the river. everyone continue to be safe

Comment by Steve G. on July 17, 2020 at 7:11am

Hi all,

So far so good for me and Chuck here in TX.  We live in Arlington, which is half way between Ft Worth and Dallas.

Cases continue to rise along with the deaths, so far Houston, San Antonio, corpus Christi are overwhelmed and have refrigerated trucks to take in the loss of life.

We stay home, we wear our masks when out to pickup the groceries we can order online or for Dr. Appointments.

Watch a lot of movies, doing inside projects and we talk to each other.  We both continue to be thankful for each day and for each other.  

I do very little outside these days due to the heat index and triple digit days, plus it just wears me out.  There will be time for my outside projects another day.

Good to hear from the family, I too pray for us all and always happy to hear from you.

Sending all many hugs

Love 

Steve

Comment by Marsha H on July 17, 2020 at 4:31am

Hi all my American angels ...  Just popping in to 'see what condition your condition is in.'  I am not making light of your situation because we are family and I keep up with the news to see how things are going in different States.  I pray for all of you each night.  

It boggles my mind that so many States are having more deaths by COVID while other States are slowing down in this area.  

In Vancouver, B.C. (I live out in the burbs) our government took immediate action and at first we were told to stay home and we did with no contact physically with anyone.  Things have improved a great deal here and smaller shops and other stores as well as malls have opened up.  Our death rate has dropped a great deal thank heavens.  Parks are open and some travel inside Canada.  Restaurants are open and even pubs, but as for myself and my friends and family we are a little leery of going that far.  We do wear masks in certain places and line-up (6 meters apart from the person in front of you) is still regulated in many places.

Please remember that many of those who have COVID and some who pass away either have compromised immune systems or it's the elderly in nursing homes.  Seems even in Canada they were grouping it all together.  Example:  If someone had lung disease they just put it under COVID which isn't always the case.

Canadians began to question what is fear factor and what is real and the media is great for the fear factor.  We asked many people who they knew that had COVID and not one of these people knew anyone.  Please try not to panic and it's OK to go out for a walk with mask on and gloves if that makes you feel better.  We did in Canada and lived to tell about it.

Take care my friends and this to shall pass.  I'm always thinking of all of you even though I haven't posted much recently, but I promise I will post much more.

Love you all

Marsha

Comment by Mary. Jane on July 17, 2020 at 12:14am

I am also in California...near San Francisco. Honestly, my life has changed completely, but it’s not bad..I just don,t leave the house. My daughter does the grocery shopping for me once a week..she comes over, but we stay physically apart from one another.

i don,t see anyone else..an occasional neighbor..but I am OK. So far, I don,t know anyone who is or has been sick. I have been out 3 times to medical appts..(Sigh..)

My best wishes for everyone. I have a feeling this is going to last into winter. 

I am still stunned.

Comment by Chicago Beard on July 16, 2020 at 8:16pm

Hi Sara

I live in CA and fortunately am doing fine! Thank you for asking. I agree we should be in a much better place than we are.

Comment by Sara Murphy on July 16, 2020 at 8:10pm

Hi All...I wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing, especially those in CA, TX, AZ and FL.  This is crazy.  After 6 months, we should be in a far better place than we are now.  Please everyone stay safe. 

 

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