Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Just a reminder to all of you over these next few days. The weather reports all over are talking extreme heat. Those of you out West have even warmer temperatures than here in the Midwest or East. Please keep well hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Hopefully all of you have air in your homes. If not, please find a friend or relative that has air and see if you can go there. Otherwise, find out where the cooling centers in your neighborhood or town are and use them. Please take care not to over exert yourself and check in here.

Discussion Forum


Started by Michelle. Last reply by Tonya Janowski on Wednesday. 10 Replies

Survivor Guilt?

Started by Vickie. Last reply by Tonya Janowski Oct 19. 9 Replies

I feel lost

Started by Kim Henry. Last reply by MJ Sep 29. 8 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by Wilela Trip yesterday

I just found out that I'm going to be a great grandma for the first time!  They got married May 31st of this year and the baby is due May 31, 2015!  Isn't that neat?  It makes me happy but when I think about my husband - he would have been overjoyed.  I wish he was around to share in the happiness.  Great grandma - sounds old doesn't it!

Comment by Wilela Trip yesterday

Jane P., Thank you.  The local funeral home sends a coping technique to me everyday.

I really like your quote.  It sure is accurate!

Comment by Jane P. yesterday

Wilela, Beautiful!   

After one passes, we suffer,  it is the price we pay for love!  Author Unknown

Comment by Wilela Trip yesterday

Quotation for the Day
"After the dead are buried, after the physical pain of grief has become a permanent wound in the soul, then comes the transcendent and common bond of human suffering, and with that comes forgiveness, and with forgiveness comes love." ~ Andre Dubus 

Comment by janeo yesterday
Sorry if I'm not making sense but Nov 2, will be our anniversary and I'm just not thinking sraight. I'm sorry.
Comment by janeo yesterday
I'm so sorry for your loss. But you'll be in my prayers. Maybe Ernie will meet him at that pearly gates. With death there are no words to comfort the pain you feel with loss. Just like you always say time goes by the pain you feel will be farther apart with this roller coaster ride. Even tbough the pain will never go away.
Comment by Wilela Trip yesterday

Stacey - Did you ever think that we as a society are much better at treating animals who have a terrible disease than we are at treating people.  In fact, it is illegal to take somebody's life, even if they are suffering and there's no hope that they will recover.  I always think about that - we're inhuman about people that see death as their way out.

Comment by Marsha H on Wednesday

Elvira ...  You are welcome and it appears many of us are going through some rough times of it.  Your grief is still very raw and time is the healer.  Even now after 3 1/2 years of Ernie's passing I can feel as if he was here just yesterday and then some days I'm doing OK on my own.  It certainly is a roller coaster ride and the big question for most of us is 'when with this cruel agonizing pain of grief leave us?'  No one has the answer to that, but we're all hanging in there so far and it's just got to get better.

Prayers and love coming your way hon.

Marsha H

Comment by Marsha H on Wednesday

Dear Stacey ...  I'm so very sorry you had to put your dog down as I have two of my own 10 and 12 and I don't look forward to that day coming as they've been my loyal companions. 

Here is a bit of tip that may give Damien a little peace regarding his dear dog ...  phone the vets and asks them to do two plastic casts of the dog's front paws.  Many people here do that and have their name if the dog put on as well.  I hope this helps you.  You did the right thing by not letting your pet suffer (people who are terminally ill and wish to go quickly should be so lucky.) 

Oddly enough I was coming on the forum as October has not been a good month for me and I'd like to rip it right off the calendar if it would do any good.  I had that flu bug and was coming around when I got a phone call this morning (yes, one of those no so good calls early in the morning) to inform me that my 60 year old brother-in-law passed away suddenly from a heart attack this morning.  I have not kept close to the family, but his ex wife only had my phone number and it was nice of her call.  Of course it was a shock.  I had to get in touch with Ernie's estranged family and my anxiety is super high right now and like you, feeling bull low and almost afraid to open my eyes each morning.  I don't know how much of this sadness I can take either.  This didn't seem to be going on when our spouses were with us.

My prayers and heart go out to you Stacey.


Marsha H

Comment by stacey on Wednesday

Hello everyone.

Well, I thought things were looking up for me for a while and bam right back down the hill again. October 7th it marked 2 years for the passing of my husband I got through that safely and calmly and Monday I found out my dogs was really sick and I ended up putting her down this morning. I think I want to take October  out of my calendar year it doesn't seem to be a good month for me. I don't know how to tell Damian he was so attached to her. I'm not liking this roller coaster much anymore I do so good for a while and bam brick wall something bad happens again I'm not sure how much more I'm supposed to handle. I hanging in there for now I know I did the right thing by not letting her suffer or hurt for to long its just hard again. 


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