Information

Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1240
Latest Conversations: 4 hours ago

Just a reminder to all of you over these next few days. The weather reports all over are talking extreme heat. Those of you out West have even warmer temperatures than here in the Midwest or East. Please keep well hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Hopefully all of you have air in your homes. If not, please find a friend or relative that has air and see if you can go there. Otherwise, find out where the cooling centers in your neighborhood or town are and use them. Please take care not to over exert yourself and check in here.

Discussion Forum

The loss of my beloved man.

Started by Janka Huljaková. Last reply by Janka Huljaková May 16. 7 Replies

Mirror Therapy

Started by Chicago Beard. Last reply by Barbara Sullivan Apr 11. 1 Reply

Closing an estate feels like betrayal

Started by Miguel. Last reply by Elizabeth C Apr 8. 9 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Bereaved Spouses to add comments!

Comment by BILL Plunkett 4 hours ago

It is going on 6 years since my love has left. Everyday it seems maybe getting but when my thoughts turn to us it is very hard. I do not when it gets easier do not think it does. We just adjust to life without them but will always grieve

Comment by Marsha H 7 hours ago

Nate ...  Thank you for that beautiful poem you wrote to your Maria and then shared it with us.  My husband Ernie passed in April 2011 and I feel he took a part of my heart which I will never get back, but true as Barbara says, 'we go on' and I believe we do because each of our spouses left us with 'imprints' of their great love for us, their kindness, gentleness, wisdom and giving ways and I like to think I carry the torch forward in memory of them.

Comment by Carol Kayser 10 hours ago
Dear all. I read this tonight:

"Grief never ends but it changes. It's a passage not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a lack of faith.....it is the price of love".

A price all of us would be willing to pay.
Hugs,
Carol
Comment by Rolland Wood 13 hours ago
Your're right Nate...this is my 2nd year without my wife Janice...and there is a hole in my life you could drive a truck through...a truly hard pain to define or deal with...good poem by the way. Best wishes....Rolland
Comment by nate eustis 17 hours ago
I wrote this for MyMaria's 63 Memorial BD dinner. My 3rd W/O her. But I offer it for all of us who as Barbara stated, " go on". We go on with a hole in our heart and will never have a whole heart again.it is only us who know that.

You are my sweetheart
Will be forever more,
Although apart
It's you I truly adore.

How long will I love you
Until the stars don't align,
The moon bids adieu
And the sun refuses to shine.

How long will I miss you
Till there's no hours to count,
Then I'll be there too
And your loss surmount.

This time without you
No words can describe,
Feeling lost and blue
All my strength to hide.

I was the luckiest
No one can doubt,
My life with you blest
A love song to sing about!

Into your arms O Lord
My Love did ascend,
Through your Mercy adored
Our love will never end.
Comment by Marsha H 20 hours ago

Dear Jane P and Carol ...  I am glad you enjoyed the poem.  I have no idea who wrote it, but it pretty much says what we feel and I thought for some of the new members if they were having problems with family or friends trying to understand the grief process it may just help.

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Marsha H 20 hours ago

Dear Barbara ...  I am so sorry you are suddenly aware that the grief is still deeply hidden in your heart.  I believe it always will be for us, but as time goes on it becomes further apart and a little less intense, but still there and that heart-ripping grief rears it's ugly head.

Friday I was on my own for the evening and I just could stand staying in the house so took the dogs for a walk on the dyke.  It had clouded over and as far as the eye could see there wasn't a soul on the dyke and I suddenly felt I was the only person on earth and the tears flowed.  As always I tried to get myself together and had to keep busy so I went to this hardware store to look for a grass trimmer and I had no idea which one was a good light weight one and would do the job.  A male customer was standing next to me and I asked him if he knew.  He never smiled and hardly spoke and walked off.  I felt old, discarded and over-whelmed at the many things Ernie use to do and know about and I was fumbling away as usual.  I eventually got a young man that worked there to help, but was of little help and I eventually just walked out of the store.  I realized I had nowhere to go, but home.  I have to tell you that I feel like a ghost where people walk by me and just don't seem to be aware I'm there.  I cried and cried last night just like you.  I keep asking myself how long this will go on.  It's just not grief, but sometimes disappointments in life and the feeling of being over-whelmed.  One thing fixed and another broken.   I just wanted my Ernie back!  

I like that sentence Carol's doctor said, 'the tears will stop when they are ready.'  Those are powerful words.  So, if we have to cry, then cry we must as it does relax the tension we are often under.

I pray you have a peaceful day my friend and try to smile if you can. 

Hugs

Marsha

Comment by Carol Kayser 22 hours ago

Marsha, what true words and expressions of how we feel.  Thank you for sharing:)

Comment by Carol Kayser 22 hours ago

Barbara, this grief rears its head just when we think we are coping, whatever that means.  My doctor said to me "the tears will stop when they are ready".   A simple sentence but a powerful one.  The grief is an individual thing and our hearts need to mourn and cry and will continue to until we can breath again. It's perfectly normal on this journey and it doesn't mean you aren't coping, it means you are still grieving and your heart and soul need to express it.

Hope you have a peaceful day today and smile when you look at that beautiful rose.

Hugs,

Carol

Comment by Barbara Sullivan yesterday

For the first time in many months, I woke in the middle of the night, my face wet with tears, crying for my love.  Chris has been gone from me for two years, one month and 13 days.  I thought I was doing 'okay' -- oh, I shed a few tears when our granddaughter graduated from college, earlier this month, knowing how proud he would be -- and, when his climbing rose bloomed, this Spring, after I had given up hope of reviving it -- but, I thought the deeply painful, heartbroken, earth-shaking cries of loss were over.  I thought I was, reluctantly, but valiantly, getting on with life.  

Do not under-estimate this grief -- it will sometimes deliver a blow to the heart when it is least suspected.  

But, we go on.

Barbara

 

Members (1240)

 
 
 

Members

Community Guidelines

Please be respectful of others. For more information, read our Community Guidelines.

Badge

Loading…

Follow Legacy

Follow Legacy.com on PinterestFollow @LegacyConnect on TwitterCircle us on Google+

© 2015   Created by Legacy.com.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service