Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

Members: 1327
Latest Conversations: 1 hour ago

This might be a rough time for many of you. Do what you feel you need to do to get through it. Remember, someone is here almost all the time to talk to you.


Discussion Forum

My love is gone...

Started by Chris Sky. Last reply by Mary. Jane Jul 1. 13 Replies

I used to love long week ends.

Started by Sandfly. Last reply by Marsha H Jun 6. 2 Replies

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Comment by Deb S 6 hours ago

Mary Jane, It sounds like a great visit! The weather should be pleasant in October and not nearly as hot as it is now. I can't wait to hear all about your adventures.  Debbie

Comment by Mary. Jane 10 hours ago
Ok, here's more...we r also staying in Kill Devil Hill, where the pirates were...I am SOOOOOO excited..yes, I traded seeing the Aurora for seeing wild horses...but that is cool...some day I will tell y'all about the most beautiful thing BOb and I ever saw on a road trip...what is the weather like there in October? I am hoping it's cold LOL as I HATE hot weather.
Comment by Mary. Jane 10 hours ago
DEB...I ,a not exactly sure of the itinerary...but we are staying in Carrolla for 2 nights, and will be seeing the wild horses, and taking a ferry somewhere, and crossing back to see the Edgar Cayce research museum...I am missing a few other nights...
Comment by Sara Murphy yesterday

Mary Jane....I accepted your friend invite.  You can message me with your book suggestions. 

Comment by Deb S on Monday

Mary Jane, I am so excited for you and your daughter. I hope that you love the outer banks as much as I do. It is a wonderful spot. What town are you staying in?  Debbie

Comment by Mary. Jane on Monday
I really need new glasses..OUTER BANKS...not PUTER banks
Comment by Mary. Jane on Monday
First of all, thank you everyone for the awesome words...NOW! you are not going to BELIEVE THIS....
We have never been there and are spending a bit over a week at various places there!!!!!
It is osmewhere I have always been interesting in going to...but it wasn,t till I figured I would NEVER be able to do the only thing on my BUCKET list, which was to see the Aurora Borealis...(Finacially and unpredictability big factors) the outer banks popped into both our heads. We have our flights, our hotels,
and everything booked already! In October. Hopefully that is a good time? I am supposed to be excersizing my legs now to strengthen them to walk a lot...and we are both excited.
Comment by Charles E. Nelson on Monday

Dear Marsha,

Thank you for your lovely wishes - I was new here and quite unsure of what to expect when you became one of the first to reach out to me with such compassion and support that I knew I had been led to the right place. You have unwaveringly been here for me, and for everyone here in this family, as you continue to do today. I have always treated plants as though they have feelings - and your research proves that. There is something to be learned from everything and every person around us I believe, if we only turn down the noise of our day-to-day lives  and take the time to listen and observe.

I always think of you, and am praying that your sciatica is improving and not keeping you down - somehow you impress me as a lady who does not enjoy being stationary for long! Wishing you a peaceful day, and picturing you working in your garden chatting away with your green friends like I do!



Comment by Charles E. Nelson on Monday

Dear Mary Jane,

Thank you so much for your kindness in describing my writing. When everything in my life turned upside down and inside out two years ago, one of the things many people close to me were most worried about was the way I would react to all the tragedy and sadness hitting me when I had at the same time lost my one creative outlet for expressing myself - my ability to paint. In the ensuing years, mostly through joining Legacy, I have found writing to be a healing and positive way to connect with not only other people, but with my own innermost fears and emotions. That my efforts and sharing have  been appreciated and helpful to my family here has made me truly believe that God has not left me adrift creatively speaking, but has guided me to an artistic outlet that uses language rather than least for now. 

Thank you also for the invitation - Dallas being close enough to take you up on it makes me smile! I actually am quite the "country mouse" at heart, and moving to the big bad city seems completely incongruous to some of my friends. I, on the other hand, feel that the path God has placed my feet on is, and has been all along, leading me where I am meant to be - a place where i will be useful, and wanted, and most especially, no longer alone. My eyes fill with tears as I write that last, because I did not expect to ever think or feel this way again as long as I live.

I guess it sounds like a cliche, but to you, and to all my dear family here, all I can say is that if it could happen to me - to actually find myself healing from the torn broken thing I was and looking for a way to be of service in this world once more - then please believe me that it is possible for us all.

Have a peaceful day my friend, and keep that guest room ready - I would so much like to give you a hug in person and thank you for everything you have done, and continue to do for all your family here.



Comment by Deb S on Monday

Steve, Thank you so much for the endorsement of the Outer Banks! I am already referring to the area as one on "beach time". They are on a different time schedule and I love it!

I'm checking out two types of homes. One is small and cozy and encircled by trees. There isn't much of a view but it is only 3 lots from the ocean. It has never been rented which is a plus but needs updating which could be a plus or minus. My other option is oceanfront . . . the view!!! Yet, that choice might challenge my budget. I have a lot of reflection in my future as I make some decisions.

I agree with you. Bob is by my side as I make these life decisions. I can feel him smiling over me. It seems every beach house has a name. My thoughts go to "What About Bob?". It is a favorite movie. Every morning I greeted him with some of the first lines uttered by Bill Murray: "I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful." I now greet myself and Bob with those words every morning.

I look forward to hearing more about your upcoming adventures and remain so excited for you and Chuck. Love, Debbie


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