Bereaved Spouses

A continutaion of the "When a Spouse or Partner Dies" thread.

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Just a reminder to all of you over these next few days. The weather reports all over are talking extreme heat. Those of you out West have even warmer temperatures than here in the Midwest or East. Please keep well hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Hopefully all of you have air in your homes. If not, please find a friend or relative that has air and see if you can go there. Otherwise, find out where the cooling centers in your neighborhood or town are and use them. Please take care not to over exert yourself and check in here.

Discussion Forum

Facing a birthday, hoilday season alone and frightened

Started by Charles E. Nelson. Last reply by Trina Mamoon Feb 3. 32 Replies

Hard days

Started by Gretchen Goldhammer. Last reply by Marsha H Dec 10, 2015. 3 Replies

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Comment by Chicago Beard yesterday

Just ran across another poem that says it well:

I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you

And then I spent the rest of your life with me

I smile because I know you loved me till the day you went away

And will keep loving me till the day we're together again

Comment by Trina Mamoon on Tuesday


I just read the poem you posted. That too is beautiful and describes our grief in a way that resonates with me very much. And yes, love comes with a price, and we here are willing to pay the price, as steep as it may be. That's true love. Thank you for sharing.

All of you, be well.

Comment by Trina Mamoon on Tuesday

Chicago Beard,

Thanks for sharing this insightful poem with us. The poem puts into words beautifully that all/many of us on this site feel and live with daily. Yes, grief is something to endure, not to get over with it. I know my grief will remain with me until the day I die. And it has changed me, altered me; I am no longer the person who I used to be when Joseph was still alive. The question now is when I will accept, when I will adjust...

Again, thanks for sharing the deep poem.

Comment by Chicago Beard on Tuesday


That is exactly how I feel and what I tell my clients in psychotherapy who have lost loved ones.

Comment by Carol Kayser on Tuesday

Hi. I read this on line and I'd like to share it, as I find it beautiful, the thoughts it expresses.

As far as I can see, grief will never truly end. It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp. But grief will last as long as love does - forever. It's simply the way the absence of your loved one manifests in your heart. A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love.
Some days, the heavy fog may return, and the next day it may recede once again. It's all an ebb and flow, a constant dance of sorrow and joy, pain and sweet love.

Comment by Marsha H on Tuesday

Christina ...  So true we can come on here and spill our guts to those that understand.  We all cope with grief in a different manner, but the basics are the same.  This forum kept my sanity throughout the tough years and still does.  All of you help me, even those in raw grief.

I am so proud of you for finding the strength to go on for the sake of your children.  I wish Ernie and I were able to have children, but it just wasn't meant to be.  I know you will have some fun filled trips and great memories not just for your kids, but yourself because you'll get the joy out of seeing your kids enjoy themselves and Joe would want that.  Know that Joe is always close to all of you.

I too don't cook like I use to when Ernie was here and I do eat a lot, but try to find things that are easy to basically 'fill the hole' and I too have to smarten up. 



Comment by Marsha H on Tuesday

Steve ...  Thanks so much for that passage as it rings true for all of us.



Comment by Marsha H on Tuesday

Chicago Beard ...  Nice hearing from you and the poem said it all. 

Thanks so much.



Comment by Christina Marangolo on Monday

I love that poem!  How true it is and a great reminder.

Comment by Charles E. Nelson on Monday

Hello Chicago Beard,

Yes indeed - this says it all - thank you for sharing. I needed some way to describe this new place I'm in to others, and now you have given me the perfect way to do it.

Be well,



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