My husband got sick in 2002.  The beginning of 2003 he had a liver transplant.  That is when all the problems started.  He lived to March 24, 2010.  During 7 years I was the primary person of the family.  We had a son in college, I had to work and take care of my husband and son.  Life became very difficult, as I tried not to make my son worry, which I thought would affect his studies.  My son did graduate as an honor student making the Dean's list for every semester.  As time went on my husband failed.  I stopped working as it was to much for me.  The last six months of my husbands life were terrible.  I kept my husband home and took care of him until he died, surrouded by our loving family.  Three months later my oldest brother became ill, and everything fell on me as I am the youngest of six siblings (25 yrs younger).  I cannot even go into all the work I am doing to get my brothers belongings settled.  My body has suffered, as I have developed health issues.

 

I am also responsible for a sister who is retarded, she lives at Elwyn School, in Media, Pa.  I am the primary caregiver for her also.  I put my brother in an assisted living facility near me.  He receives wonderful care and I go there every day to see him.  I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to survive all these heartaches.  I have a wonderful family and wonderful in-law family.  But the truth is I am struggling and life without my husband is very hard.  I would have been married 25 yrs. on Sept. 13, 2010.

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Replies to This Discussion

Dear Carol Ann,
I can't even begin to comprehend your loss. I am so sorry.
I do, however, understand the physical hardships. You've done right by your brother, whether the family fully understands this or not. And going through all of his affairs to prepare him for the assisted living move is SO overwhelming. I'm still going through all of the bills for my mother's 6 months of full time care. There are days I just can't deal with it - can't even look at them.
And yet, life goes on. The sun comes up and we have to deal with another day.
I don't know that it gets easier - but it does become more routine.
Leslie
Aloha Carol! I was a caretaker for my grandfather for 2 and a half years until he passed in my home. I have known him all my life and never thought that I would end up taking care of me cause he did that for me. It definitely was an experience of a lifetime! Many sleepless nights and sacrifices due to his alzheimers! At times I felt like I was gonna lose it! But I learned to develop patience through the power of prayers! Physically I was exhausted. But, mentally and emotionally, I managed to keep a balance. I believe that Our Creator helped me through all those difficult times. The Bible tells us at 1Peter 1:22 to have intense love for one another from the heart. I believe that you have this love in your heart which is why you take on these responsibilities and you should be commended. Don't forget that your caring and loving works will not be overlooked! This life of suffering and wickedness is only temporary. Isaiah 65:17 and onward tells us that there will be a new heavens and a new earth. Isaiah 33;24 says no resident will say I am sick. Aren't these wonderful hopes to look forward to. These scriptures and many more has helped me to endure the trials of a caregiver and I hope they help you, a little bit! If you need anyone to talk to I will be here. You can add me as a friend. Please take care of yourself! First and foremost! Aloha! Ka'ai
Carol Ann, you are made up of something special and I wish it could be bottled and distributed to everyone who is a caregiver. I am proud of you and the patience and heartache you endure everyday. Please find me here or on my other facebook page called, Caregiving With Love, You Just Do It. Talk to you soon I hope, Carlo
Carol Ann, you are made up of something special and I wish it could be bottled and distributed to everyone who is a caregiver. I am proud of you and the patience and heartache you endure everyday. Please find me here or on my other facebook page called, Caregiving With Love, You Just Do It. Talk to you soon I hope, Carlo

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