still hurting and missing my grandma

i lost my grandma sept22,2009 i was so close to her know she gone and i feel lost with out her i have so many emtions since her dealth i feel sad and then i get loney and then i get angry i wont to blame someone but i know its no one fault she was 89 years old so she lived a full life i only wish i could have been there to say my last goodbyes to her.its so hard when i remember all the good things we us to share i see something that i made for her and was surpose to send out for christmas but dident it makes me start to cry my friends tell me she is in a better place but i just cant get myself to let go i cry myself to sleep and hold her pictures near me at night all the things that us to make me feel safe i find myself picking them up and crying after doing so i have gone and talked to my familey docter she tells me to give myself time to heal and that i well start to feel better i guess i need others who have gone throwe this and understand what im feeling when does the pain stop? and how long does it take .

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Permalink Reply by Malaki Campbell on December 19, 2010 at 12:26pm

howdy. I lost my grandma a weeks ago. She died slowly which gave me time to say goodbye and everything but is bittersweet because she was abused and neglected in her final weeks at her place of care. Although it is hard, compared to the sudden loss of my mother from suicide it is less intense. I am glad her pain is over but I would also give my inheritance and my car to have her back here in good health. People say that makes me selfish but there not going through it. You will heal but time doesnt heall all wounds it took me about a year to get up from my mothers blow. There are still some triggers of certain songs, movies smells that bring up emotion with my mother as well as grandmother, but I find comfort in the fact that there together and waiting for me. People tell me shes in a better place, she wouldnt want to see you like this, I'm being selfish, but there wrong. you grieve however you deem necessary and need to do. Don't let anyone tell you need to stop being a wuss.

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