Gay and lesbians who have lost partners

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Gay and lesbians who have lost partners

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Grieving a loss that hasn't happened yet

Started by Lynne. Last reply by Steve Feldman on Monday. 8 Replies

My name is Lynne. I may be in the wrong group, but I don't know where else to go. I live with anticipatory grief, which I am sure many of you have suffered from as well. My partner/wife of 4 years…Continue

Sudden Loss

Started by Tom Hogshead. Last reply by Steve Feldman Jun 13. 24 Replies

I lost my partner in a tragic accident two weeks ago. Though not legally wed, we had exchanged rings, had even started calling each other "husband'. We had not yet combined households, but discussed…Continue

Bueller? Bueller?

Started by Andrew McCullough. Last reply by Andrew McCullough Jun 1. 3 Replies

This forum seems to have gone fallow... is there a better online community grief support option than this?  It'd be nice to have a little interaction, not just echos into the ethers. Continue

What to call deceased partner?

Started by Steve Levin. Last reply by Steve Feldman May 31. 6 Replies

Troy died about 18 months ago very suddenly from a heart attack.  This forum has been a great help.Now that the overwhelming grief has been replaced with different emotions I want to pose a question…Continue

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Comment by David Simpson on January 27, 2015 at 9:53am

I am so sorry for you loss.I grew up in OOB,now live in Gorham.My husband died on October 5 2014 of congestive heart failure.

Comment by Robert Foley on January 26, 2015 at 9:03pm

I am so sorry for all who have lost those they love.  My husband John died in December 2014.  We were together for 24 happy years and married last summer in a beautiful non-religious ceremony in our garden.  He battled stage 4 lung cancer for almost two years to stay with me. He was brave and caring to the end.  I miss him so much.  I'm embracing my grief and using his strength to help me survive.

Comment by Robert Foley on January 15, 2015 at 8:34pm

Comment by David Simpson on January 9, 2015 at 2:53pm

John i do the same thing,i eat alone,and get takeout.I miss having meals with him,i did not like the part though when he did not want to eat anymore,it was sad to watch his decline,i had a gift though ,the gift of true love,it can never be taken away.John just think of all of the people that were never loved like us,we will always have that,its eternal

Comment by John Steffens on January 9, 2015 at 1:13pm

Hi, my name is John.  I lost my dear partner of 29 years, Jim, 25 months ago.  Jim died of CHF after spending 19 weeks in the hospital and 3 months at home under Hospice care.  I miss him every minute of every day.  We were both retired and so enjoyed our time together after all the years of working.  Then he became ill and everything stopped.  I am able to do my day-to-day activities but find it extremely hard to eat alone.  If it isn't in a box I don't eat it anymore.  We moved here (Nashville area) after living in Florida for decades and we never made gay friends here, and I feel like I am on Mars.  I am just at a loss as to how to go on, but I have a great desire to do so and I know Jim would want me to be active and as happy as possible.  Would love some feedback and support to alleviate feeling scared and stuck.  I am so very lost in this world right now. 

Comment by David Simpson on December 7, 2014 at 7:41pm

Hello looking to connect and correspond with spouses of deceased partners,my Doug died on October 5th 2014 of Congestive heart failure.Thank you.

Comment by Tony Howey on November 29, 2014 at 4:55am

Hi, my name is Tony. I recently lost Patrick, my partner of 19 years. I just joined the group to hopefully find some support. I miss him every day. I feel so lost.

Comment by Jeanne L on November 23, 2014 at 4:29pm

I'm still trying to catch my breath. My partner of 22 yrs, married for 5, died Oct 2. Like so many others that have posted, I'm OK, on the most part, out in public or at work. Sometimes I start daydreaming or thinking about things and reality hits me in the face. I get very, very sad. Alone, I ache.  

Comment by Dennis McCormack on November 3, 2014 at 6:51pm

Just joined this group (I think!---just noticed there are various ones). Lost my partner of 20 years Sept 5, 2013. Decided to seek others in the same spot. Still not finding it much easier to cope. Still have little interest in going out, seeing friends or doing much of anything. I am 67 years old and feel not much zest in life. Feel alone and washed up. The future seems bleak. How would I ever find the happiness I had? I'm sure many feel the same. Friends and family say to "get out" and do things, but so easier said than done. Even my appetite has gone downhill. As my brother (who lost his wife almost two years ago says, "If I can't nuke it, I don't do it". Often times a sandwich is th best I can do (I used to be the cook and having someone to cook for gave me motivation). It's even hard to shop for ONE. At least my brother has his children and his adored grandson to ease the pain. So many of us GLBT, lack that. Friends and others just sort of "don't get it", saying get out and do something. I know I SHOULKD but Easier said than done. And at this stage of life I don't have a large group of friends, having gone through the first wave of grief with the AIDS years and so many friends leaving. Now leaving due to age. Anyway, thanks for letting me share. Peace.

Comment by Don Fournier on October 30, 2014 at 3:20am

Lisa

I've kept a journal by my bedside for a year now and every so often I go back and read what I was feeling last year. Its a helpful reminder on how well I've done coping with my loss. It doesn't take the pain away but it is a good outlet for me. My partner's words to me "you'll be fine" always got me through the really tough times and as much as I hate to admit he's right.... well he's right. Everyday I get up and say "ok what am I facing today" and then I tackle it head on. Some days are better than others but I keep pushing myself.

It's only been a year for me and now that my head is finally coming out of the fog I'm starting to remember all the little things he use to do to make me laugh - he was quite the character. He had a great attitude about "laughing through life" and that spirit helps me through my rough days. I miss him terribly but I know he's around me... I feel him. Take care - Don

 

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