Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Curtis Magnuson on October 10, 2012 at 1:05pm

First off sorry for your loss. And very sorry you are not being treated well by his family. I too lost my soul partner of 20 years. His family was great to me. His children and I were the ones who made the desision to stop life support and have a plot next to him, when my time is up. The first week very surreal. As with you it will start when you get settled in a new place. I had a fear that I would be evicted out of our place since I had to be the sole person to pay rent. But the Land Lords are being conciderate of me. My family all live very far away and never been supportive  of me and my partner Darrell. Hang in there and always tell your family and friends how you feel at any given time. You will be in my prayers.

Permalink Reply by Darrell Sours on October 11, 2012 at 4:29pm

Hi David, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for you loss. It's terrible that your partner's family acted that way toward you especially with everything else that you are trying to deal with.

My partner Homer passed away in February. We were together over 30 years. He was a sweet wonderful guy and I miss him so. The first few weeks were the most difficult yes but it's still hard. To be honest I don't know how I have made it through some days, but I have.I don't think it's something that you ever get over though.Especially if you really loved the person. Please feel free to contact me any time. Take care.

Permalink Reply by Kevin T on October 11, 2012 at 7:54pm

Hi David, I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my partner of 6 years due to a sudden heart attack on Aug 20. I don't really remember what I did in the first week unless I tried hard to. The shock and disblief were so overwhelming that I was immediately forced to be an autopilot. I needed to take care of what I was supposed to. I was also surronded by friends and my partners' families yet felt incredible emptiness and lonliness inside. The inbearable pain didn't come until everybody else went back to their own normal life. At that time I knew eventually I will need to go through this all by myself. I wish I could tell you how to feel better in the first week but I don't know that either. Even today I still don't believe what had happened. Hang in there and talk to people you can trust. When the pain becomes inbearable, I found screaming in the car when I am driving on the high way really help, and I never screamed before in my life. Keep in touch with the people here and take care of yourself. 

Permalink Reply by Nancy Kennedy on October 24, 2012 at 1:39pm

Hi David!

Like the others who have responded before me, I'm so sorry for your lost. Tina, my partner, who passed on March 3rd, & I would have celebrated 29 years together on Halloween. It was an easy date to remember. Don't try to do too much as everything will seem overwhelming. Just one step at a time! In addition to losing Tina, my brother & I are caring for two elderly parents with dementia. Only my Mom is ambulatory but sometimes, because of the dementia, she'll ask me if Tina is still at work. Because she had a diagnosed severe heart problem of aortic dissection Type II, we had known for 4 years that the end could be at any time. So, we talked about EVERYTHING, including death and dying. Her mantra was "Forever & a Day," & I honor her, & try to dissipate quickly the thoughts of suicide as I had promised her that I wouldn't do that. I'm fixing up our retirement home near the beach as we had discussed. Although she's physically not here, she is constantly with me as your partner will be for you. Peace!