I already know the textbook answer is that "I must save myself." So for me those text book answers seem so impossible. in June of 2007 I met Richard - and we were never apart until he passed on 11/5/2015 after 4 mos of stomach cancer. When I moved to Miami with some money in my pocket and not a clue of what I was going to do with my life. Then I met Richard and he stopped me from falling. He caught a very lost person and we began to sail on our ship of life.
He loved and cared for me and made me feel that at least I would be alright and he would be there no matter what. I worked and contributed and we muddled through life - After he passed away I was unable to keep up with my job and have moved back in with family in another state. Every day I wish and hope it's just a terrible nightmare. Tomorrow is only 6 mos and I feel just as lost. When we met I never expected to be saved per se but for a while it felt like I was.
Now I feel so very very lost. I am in a state I really don't care to be in. I lost a job i just couldn't do feeling so depressed and I am also losing the house we loved and cherished. I have almost no energy to do anything to go forward because what lies ahead isn't really what I want it seems.
I am desperate for a muse and I fear it will never come.
Well that's how I feel -
I too was saved by my best friend and dear companion Richard who passed away last week.
I am in such pain and suffering over his death as he was taken way too soon. He was a sweet man and cancer took him. I dont know how to move on but Im trying . im surmising that i may need help and a therapist at some point. I hope we both find what we need and can try and make sense of everything.