Hello, I'm living in Arizona; originally from Malaysia. It has been close to 2 months now since I lost my soul mate, 'Akota Summer-Ray Bochenclinii (February 5, 1997- December 31, 2015)...My story starts like this:

I know 'Akota through school, he was my close friend. We were just friends for a year and nothing more than that. I was straight at that time, and had never explored my sexual orientation. We were so close in school and we talked about every and anything to each other. One day, he said that he liked me, I said that I like him a lot as a friend too and I just changed topic. Somewhere in November 2015, 'Ako was selected by the school PI to go perform some research back in NM, where he was originally from. I was a little sad that he will be leaving and he will only be back on January 19th 2016.

While he was driving to NM, I called him and talked to him on the phone to keep him from sleeping all the way, he was on Bluetooth wireless so I'm ok with that. It was so nice talking to him. I feel really weird as I really miss his presence. I started texting him daily and talked to him everyday while he was in NM. One day, I just feel that he is really special and I popped the question saying that I do not like him, but I love him so so much and he will be the first guy and last I'll ever love. He was so shocked, yet was so happy and cried on the phone as he was waiting for this day so badly and he is really happy that we are officially boyfriends. I broke my rule #1 - no relationship till graduate with a bachelors; but that was the best rule I had ever broken!

We talked every night, everything was so sweet. Thanksgiving past, Christmas came and we talked so much more and every conversation we had day by day just made our relationship grew stronger. He even told his mom about me and he wanted me to meet them in the summer after I graduate in my associates at SCC. I'm so excited! We have the most random topics for every conversations and they all lasted for more than 2 hours.

I was in LA during New Year's Eve with my friend from Malaysia. He will be driving to CO from NM to celebrate with some of his family members. I called him on 12/29/2015 and spoke to him for almost 1 hour and he will be back to his second house in NM which has no signal. "I'll call you when I'm in CO during New Year's Eve babe, I love you!" He said.

New Year's Eve night, I did not hear anything from him, not a text or phone call. I was super worried. I kept calling his phone and there's no answer! Day by day passed... It was then 01/04/2016! I finally got a text from his number:

"Mr. Rad. Hi, I'm Martin, 'Ako's uncle. 'Akota was in a vehicle accident while on the way to Denver on New Year's Eve. And I'm sorry to let you know that he is no longer with us. We had his funeral this morning. Again, we are sorry... Best."

I was shocked, I almost fainted, I tried to grasp for air, and I just started balling! I can't believe that my boyfriend is dead. I will never be able to see him as my boyfriend in person, never get to hold his hand, never get to give him his first kiss. My boyfriend died a virgin. I tried to contact his family members but they did not reply my texts as they are mourning deeply. Shortly, his phone number was cut off. I was never able to see his family members or his grave. I only have few pictures of him. I will never see him again. Luckily, he did left me quite a few voicemails when I missed his calls and I still listen to them daily.

I know that he is in a better place right now but I still miss him dearly. I talk to him every night. And I tell him that I love him everyday like I used to. It is the 7th week now.... All the plans for the future we had, is now cancelled. But the memories of him and our relationship will always be in my mind. I love you 'Akota.

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Dear Rad,

Gosh that is so sad. To have a love like that is pretty special. I know how you must really miss him and really regret not having had a relationship with him before he left. Since you know where he is from, have you tried to search for his obituary in that city? A lot of times the obituary is on line and you can read the guest book and sign his guest book. Also, you may be able to find where he is buried at if they put it in the obituary. Please try to do a search. I am so sorry for your loss! Let me know if you find out anything.

I did, I tried everything, calling 10 funeral homes near Crownpoint, NM, where his families were.  I called the police and highway petrol to check but they can't find the record with his name because Native Americans do have lots of names and that was his family name and is not registered with the US.  I even tried to contact ASU, where he was studying in and they do not want to let out any information as it is the school's policy.  I really cannot do anything right now but to pray for his soul and think about him daily.  At least he is in a better place right now.  I still "talk" to him everyday and listens to his voicemails.  I do miss my only love...I'll be strong and move on but 'Akota will always be in my heart.  

Hi Rad, I'm from that area. Try looking up his name on: http://navajotimes.com/rezobits/

Hope that helps and you find comfort if you do find. Peace. Gregg

Hi Gregg, thank you so much. I did looked him up on the website too and I failed to find his name :'(

Until this very day, I still can't find any article about his death not knowing his legal name. I have bunch of his voice messages that he left for me on my phone that I'll forever treasure.

Your story is shockingly sad and much like mine feel free to reply

Hi Heather, I know. It was so sudden, I still can't fully digest the fact that he was gone. We had so much plans together....How's your story similar? Do you mind sharing? Glad that I am not alone :(

Hello Rad,  I'm sorry for your loss.  It must be heart-wrenching that you will never be able to see your boyfriend again.  Not even one last time to say a proper 'good-bye.'  I was fortunate that I was with my partner of 10 years up until his last breath.  He passed away in the hospital when they took him off life support.  Even thought I was there to see him leave, that didn't make it any less painful to see him go.  I would have gave him half of the rest of my own life if that would have kept him here with me.  Then we would have left this world together, like we had planned when we moved on to a serious and long-term relationship.  I'm sorry that your boyfriend's family is not responding to you anymore but it's was nice of them to send you the message and let you know he had passed.  It's good that you finally knew but yes, it must have been horrible like you said to get that kind of news.  I'm glad you can still hear his voice everyday.  I wish I had voice mails that I saved from my partner.  I kick myself in the behind when I think of how many of his voice mails I deleted from my phone over the years.  I would love to hear his voice again saying loving words to me or even just saying my name.  I too continue to love my Darren.  There will never be anyone like him again.  I cry daily for him and I wish he hears me talking to him everyday just like he is still here with me.  I thought I would share that with you Rad.  So, you take care of yourself, Rad.  I sympathize with you and my heart truly goes out to you.  I couldn't imagine the pain you must be feeling still, especially with something as tragic as the way you lost your boyfriend.  Please take care and don't give up.  For what it's worth, I too try to believe that my Darren is in a better and beautiful place up there and he's looking down on me everyday too.

Hi Arvin, I am so sorry for your lost as well.  I am doing pretty good actually.  I still talk to him daily even though I am sad, but it is nice to feel his presence around me.  I wish that you will move forward too and I am sure Daren loves you more, just like 'Akota, he always says that he loves me more than anything else that matters.  I truly appreciate your time in writing back. Thank you so much. Well, I hope 'Akota and Daren up there will be happy to see us living our lives happily and they are able to see how strong we are to move on be strong even though they are there to guide us.  I still love you a lot 'Akota. Hope you have a great great day Arvin, I'm glad that both of our boyfriends are actually in a better place already and do not have to suffer what we are suffering (haha).  :') I will miss them forever and my boyfriend will be my one and only, probably my last boyfriend too. 

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