I lost my partner Al of 19 years on January 30. I thought I was beginning to deal with the grief.  This constitutional ammendment vote has just stirred up feelings of hopelessness.  How can our neighbors, who knew us as a couple for so long, who sent their children to our house to sell girl scout cookies, whose lawns we mowed, whose houses we watched while they were on vacation, who came to our house for so many Holidays, now vote to enshrine discrimination against gays and lesbians in the state constitution? As I watched signs go up in the neighborhood to "Vote YES for Marriage", I can't help but wonder what these people REALLY thought of us all these years.  Was I living in a fantasy world? The pain of losing Al, and not having him to hold onto to through all this hatred is unbearable.

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Hi John. I have several family members in the Asheville, NC area. One of them is a half-brother who is also gay. He is involed with a few political and non-profits groups and is very upset about Ammendent 1. I wish I could say that I am surprised about the ammendment passing but I'm not. I am sure that even here in Georgia an amendment like that would pass. Even with all the gay people especially here in the Atlanta area where I live. Most people in this part of the country are just not ready to accept gay marriage. I am sure that one day gay marriage will be legal in all states though I don't know if that will ever happen in my lifetime. It is a shame that so many of your neighbors have been such hypocrites.

I wanted to know that you my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your partner. My partner passed away 3 months ago today. It's been a rough road. We were together a little over 30 years. He was the kindest most decent person I have ever known in my life. I love and adored him so much. I can't even put into words how much I miss him. It's been a struggle but I have been hanging in there but sometimes just by a thread. If you ever want  to reach out at any time. I am here. Take care John.

 

Thanks Darrell. I sometimes feel the same way - hanging on by a thread.  I cried an hour every morning while walking the dogs for the first three months. I've had an amazing amount of support from friends and colleagues, but amidst it all I still feel incredibly lonely without him. I hope someday we can both find a source of happiness to balance out this sadness that will always be there.

Thank you John. That was very kind of you to say. I hope the same for both of us also. My family has been much more supportive than I ever expected. One of my partner Homer's sisters has also  been very kind. I have a wonderful friend who I have known since 1973 in high school (I am 55 years old) who lives in Florida who calls me most days twice a day to see how I am doing. She has really  been great. I have an  aquantince who I know did not mean to be insensitive  say " Oh Darrell I know it's hard right now but you'll get over it in time". I  didn't say anything but if you've ever really loved someone how do you ever get over it?  iIt may be easier to deal with in time but I know his passing is something I will centainly never get over. I will love and miss my Homer always. That will never change.

The president came out today supporting gay marriage! That's a step in the right direction.  What kind of dogs do you have John? When Homer and I first got together we had a poodle and chiauua ( I know I spelled it wrong) mixed dog  named Lady. later  on we had a Lab and Airedale dog named Melody. We also had several cats over the years. They were all sweet and wonderful and I hope they are all with Homer now. I don't have  a pet at this time but maybe sometime soon.

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