Only 55 days ago

That is all the longer it has been since I lost my partner of 7 years. it is still hard to come to believe. I still expect to see him when I come home from work, still at his usual spot on the couch or in front of the computer. He was 30 years older but at 59 he still died to young and very sudden. He died due to complications of a colon surgery. even at almost two months and things are getting worse. I am basically being kicked out of his house we shared because his two adult children and brother want their money from the sell of the house. I have to start moving into an apartment on Tuesday , and im no where mentally or emotionally ready to leave here. His house and being with him was the first time I was ever happy or felt truely loved, safe, and secure. Being gay and raised a Jehovahs Witness I didnt get a lotof love and support from my family. Then I met Ricky and that all changed. three months later I moved in and we both had never been happier, I truely believe he was my soulmate. I well always go on loving and missing him, and I dont know how I well survive this. Thanks for listening.

Miah

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Permalink Reply by Richard Straughn on June 1, 2012 at 2:03pm

My deepest sympathy. I know how you feel. I'm only 40 days into my grief. Very hard to keep going I know. But one day at a time and be easy on yourself. I had 10 years of bliss and can't imagin a day without him. We were married in California and live in NJ but he died in Florida where we have a winter condo. Florida laws are so anti gay. At least in NJ we have some rights but Florida has messed up the death certificates and put them on hold because we were married. Only released them to next of kin, his sister, thank God we were accepted by both our families and my children especially. Dealing with all the issues while in this much grief is unbearable. I only pray I will live long enough to get our affairs in order so my children don't have this mess to deal with. And we had wills, power of attourney etc. Still there are problems even in a state that says we are equal, "BUT". Treasure your memories and give yourself some slack and don't let anyone tell you how you should feel.

Permalink Reply by Nancy Kennedy on June 2, 2012 at 8:56am

As Richard says, live "one day at a time," and, if that's too much, make it 5 minutes at a time. Tomorrow will be 3 months without my partner of 28 1/2 years who was only 54 when she passed. I understand fully about the paperwork even though we had everything jointly titled, it took me going to Motor Vehicles Admin. 3 straight days and $780 later to re-title the car and literally buy and sell the car to me. Crazy!!! This site is great to let it out as people on this site truly understand. Friends sent me a beautiful stone on which is etched: "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure."

Permalink Reply by Miah on June 4, 2012 at 12:56pm

Richard and Nancy,

Thank you for your sympathy. it has been a tough go but thankfully my "brother" has been here to help. I am sorry for both of your losses and hope you are able to find joy in your day, even if it just for a little bit.

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